


#officeantics

by WennyT



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Agency Life, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Alternate Universe - Pride and Prejudice Fusion, Co-workers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Kyuline, M/M, Multi, Social Media, email, most of these are cameos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2020-10-10 00:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 52,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20519201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WennyT/pseuds/WennyT
Summary: It's the age-old trope. Suit versus creative, left brain versus right brain, logic versus emotion. Ambitious ad man versus passionate creative director. What can go wrong?Welcome to SM Enterprises Ltd, award-winning ad agency and home to more than a few egos and divas. Don't believe what you see onMad Men. It gets crazier than that.





	1. Per Our Conversation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mouldsee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mouldsee/gifts).

> Full disclosure:  
\- This gives you a hopefully-but-not-quite realistic look at the ad industry, which has been over-glamourised in the media.  
\- This author is borrowing extremely heavily from her 5 years in the industry, but her actual working life was much less exciting. It featured less pretty people, for one.  
\- This author has just started a sabbatical from her Real People Adult Career (TM) so will be around for a few months.  
\- This is for Mouldsee because who else would it be for? #teamraptors

> @UKYH___
> 
> 74 posts | 31,456 followers | 67 following 
> 
> 🐺📸🎧🎳📱
> 
> #ICYMI Gwangju Creates: A Visual Telling @ Leeum Museum 2
> 
> #CARE: +82-2-313-8886 #mustlovedogs
> 
> Cannes Lion Creative Speaker and Mentor 2019

\--

> @changmin88 
> 
> 2,912 posts | 275 followers | 206 following 
> 
> Max
> 
> Spinning lies for a living 
> 
> **This account is private. **
> 
> Follow this account to see their photos and videos. 

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: SM ENT., ALL

Re: Happy To Be Back! 

Hi everyone,

UKNOW it feels so good to be back! 

Thanks to the visualiser department for the cakes and goodies… all strawberry flavoured too. I'm honoured guys! 

I'm pretty sure Studio is responsible for the silly string and the hugeeeee flower field in my office, but no one is owning up… 👀🤔 I'll be watching. Feeling the love! 

Soo-Man seongsaeng-nim, Youngmin hyung, Soyoung noona, thanks for taking a chance on me. 

To everyone else: Can't wait to jam together again! 

Love,

Yun.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back!

Q,

Who the fuck is this pretentious dickwad? 

\-- 

From: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back!

You mean UdontKnow? Was he before your time? 

Q

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back!

I sense an insider joke but I don't have the time nor inclination to dig it out of you. 

No, I've never seen this person before in my life. I would remember him just from the sheer amount of slime oozing from that email alone. 

\--

From: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back

Sorry bro

Sometimes we are so joined at the hip I forget you had a life (sad though it was) before me. 

Careful about the contempt. That's the crown prince of SM you're talking about… your head isn't so beloved by BoA that it won't roll.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back!

By sad, you mean before I came along and spurred you into actual productivity and new heights of coding. 

I've been here 2 years and I haven't even heard of him. What kind of 'crown prince' is that. 

He's a creative? 

And you leave my boss out of this. 

\-- 

From: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back

Yes a creative. Award-winning CD. I heard he's invited to be a Young Lions mentor at Cannes this year.

Its kinda like the prodigal son returns… I think people just didnt bring him up much this couple of years because The SM was heartbroken over him leaving to start his own agency. But now hes back!

And hard to leave ur boss out of it when that's one of her best friends? 

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back!

Q -

Do you think you can spell properly since it is still working hours? 

I'm confused. So this slime ball is so beloved by people that they were, what, stricken speechless by his prior resignation?

BoA knows him?? She hasn't mentioned him to me. 

Copy or art?

\--

From: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back

Live dangerously bro its Friday 

She more than knows him

There was a rumour round the water cooler that they were dating but they kind of came out at an office party in '16 and said no…. Ur boss dipped him and kissed the hell out of him then announced to everyone it was her kissing her brother 

But they have a bonnie and clyde thing going on 

….didnt you say she has been pissed as fuck with Jaejoong for the longest time? I think ur lookin at Jaejoongs replacement bro

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back!

Q - 

At least turn on spell check. Your emails are hurting my eyes. 

Also- That creature is an art CD. You mean Jung Yunho is art? With that flamboyant email, I thought he's a copywriter for sure.

Wait - she's summoning me. Talk later. 

\--

From: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: Fw:Re: Happy To Be Back

????????? U CANT LEAVE ME HANGIN LIKE THAT SO WAT DOES SHE NEED U FOR IS IT UKNOW

LUNCH LATER I NEED TO KNOW DEETS

* * *

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > ; Heechul, Kim < [ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

Re: Lunch? <3

My favourite peoples!! 🙆🏻

Lunch? On me! Bring me to whatever new and exciting food places this place has to offer! I'm sure there's plenty of new places! 

Big hugs,

Yun.

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

Yundol ah,

You say it as though we didn't just meet for dinner at that fusion place you wanted to go last Friday…

If BoA or I pay, we can expense it under "Staff Welfare" and you can have all the meat you like. 

Probably BoA. Her expense account is definitely higher.

H.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

Aw, hyung! That's different. Now we're colleagues again! 👨🎨👨💻👸

LOL sure! Expense away, as long as it isn't much trouble. I really can and want to buy you lunch! Meat seems too heavy though…. 🤔

I saw on IG today that there is a Korean-French grain bowl place everyone is raving about?

Let me know!

Yun.

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

** _>> Now we're colleagues again!_ **

Wasn't that the whole point of last Friday night? To celebrate your impending return, ye O mighty Creative Director, owner of Cannes Lions?

** _>> Korean-French grain bowl place_ **

It's too early in the week, Yundol. Take pity on your poor old hyung. No hipster rabbit food, please.

H.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

Awwww hyung. But this is my first proper meal with you as a colleague in years!! ❤❤❤ 

Okay fine, I forgot you have strong feelings about fusion food. What are you craving, then? 

BoA my love, light of my life, my goddess~ what about you? 😘

Love,

Yun.

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

She's a goddess? What am I then? Chopped liver?

I don't have "strong feelings about fusion food". I have strong feelings about your food choices because they have too many colours and rarely look edible. I know you just want to go to these places because you can take your #artyfarty pictures for "the Instagram".

There's a pretty good Vietnamese place down the road. Opened a year ago. Or… the old deli got replaced by a ramen shop that's decent, too. 

But let's wait to see what Her Holiness wants to eat.

H.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

LMAO stop dissing IG, hyung. If you'll just try it… 🤳📳💥 

BoA? You busy? You still have time for lunch, right?

I'm getting kind of hungry,

Yun.

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

That series of emoticons look painful. 

I'll stay with Twitter, thank you very much. It's a magnet for jaded and witty handsome men. Like me.

I think the light of your life is still huddled with her little pet. I saw them when I went by the water cooler to look at the hot new Head of Content. Very intense. Probably plotting some client's demise.

H. 

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

Who's very intense? 🤔

BoA? Or this Head of Content? This is a new hire too? 

And what pet? 😲 BoA, you have a protégé? How is she?

Need food!!

Yun.

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

  * The pet is a he
  * Btw your goddess has amassed quite the team of minions and she'll probably have to start introducing you soon. Like after lunch soon. There's an army of them. 
  * Except for the pet whom I thought you already know but clearly not
  * Oh ho **@boa.kwon** so you haven't introduce Yundol to The Shim? This I have to see
  * Intense was referring to B&S's conversation 
  * But I suppose you can call the HoC intense too. In a physical way… he's got an 8 pack
  * Your love has been ignoring us so let's go for food in 5 loverboy

H.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

Hyung, I know you're hungry too, but that reply 🙄🤣

So Shim is a he and he is BoA's… Lead minion? 

What does having an 8 pack got to do with anything? I thought you were talking about his working style!

...Sigh KWON BOA!! YOU HAVE 3 MORE MINUTES. 😤😤😤 OR WE'RE LEAVING WITHOUT YOU.

🥘🍲🥗🍱🍛🍝

Yun.

\--

From: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; Heechul, Kim < [ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

Heechul, I dare you to call Changmin my pet to his face.

Do it. Get me video proof and I'll speak to the FC to get you the freelancer budget you want for the next quarter. 

I've reservations for three at Mingles. Let's go.

BoA

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Re: Lunch? <3

** @yunho.jung ** oh this Choi Siwon doesn't seem to have much of a brain. He does have an 8-pack and an inclination to walk around the office topless past 6pm though. 

** @boa.kwon ** you are so on. 

Although, maybe "Max the Lead Minion" trumps "BoA's pet". 

H.


	2. Feel Free to Ping Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is turning out to be a self indulgent id fic.  
LOL  
Minseok is my spirit animal

**🎮 Kyuline**

_ Q, Ryeong, The Shining Minho, Minseokie, Mi, Victoria Song SMEnt, You _

> 🔒Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

_Q created the group "🎮 Kyuline"_

_ Q added you, Ryeong _

_ Q added The Shining Minho _

**Ryeong**

Should we bring in the extended group?

**You**

Leave no (wo)man behind, I guess….

**Q**

Ugh ShimChwang ur just a sucker for punishment lol

_ You added Minseok, Mi, Victoria Song SMEnt _

**The Shining Minho **

Awesome! The full crew is here!!!

**Q**

Remind me again… why do we have to abandon our KaTalk group chat now?

**You**

Haven't you learnt anything from all those celebrity scandals? Nothing is private on KakaoTalk. And it seems like any crazy bugger on the street can get hold of chat transcripts these days. 

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

LOL! Max, you have a lot of skeletons in your closets huh 😉

**Ryeong**

It isn't wrong to want some privacy.

**Q **

yeah haha sry shimchwang and ryeonggu r both paranoid bastards 

**You**

Kyuhyun, when we're at work, it's Max.

**Minseokie**

Minho - are you back in office?

**The Shining Minho **

yeah bro why? 

**Minseokie**

Mate you owe me 2 PPM decks. Clients have been chasing me non-stop since morning! The 1st PPM is in 40 min!! They wanted pre-reads!

**The Shining Minho **

SHIT SORRY BRO totally slipped my mind. Ughhhh I just finished a 90 hour shoot? 😥

**Minseokie**

…

????

!!!!!!!!

**You **

You have 10 minutes to send the decks, Minho-ah, before I let Minseok have at you…

**Mi **

LOL

**Minseokie**

LOL. Wow boss thanks >_>

**You **

Anytime. 

**The Shining Minho**

Only 10 mins? Come on peeps I’m running on 3 days of no sleep and a million cups of coffee here

**You **

I can only hold Minseok back for so long.

**Minseokie**

Eh boss you make me sound like I’m a rabid dog pulling at my leash

**You **

I can see you gnashing your teeth from here. Minho, you have 5 minutes before my Account Manager shakes off his leash and storms the Production department.

**Victoria Song SMEnt **

I was going to defend Minho, then I remember he’s not a creative 

**Ryeong **

LOL. Victoria, why aren’t you PMs as protective of us UXs? We’re your resources too~

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

Ryeowook-ah, you’re UX Lead, you can protect yourself

**Ryeong **

It’s the principle of it! 

**The Shining Minho**

I’m uploading the decks!!!! Hugeeee file sizes though guys, the directors have loads of references and you gotta give me more than 10min no matter how fast the office internet is

**Mi **

No you’re not. He just dropped by to ask me to help refine the director’s vision on slide 2.

**Minseokie **

???? DON’T BOTHER MIMI. HE IS SHITTING OUT A MANIFESTO FOR ME FOR THE 2ND PPM AND I NEED THAT LIKE AN HOUR AGO

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

Guys please don’t overwhelm Mi - he’s on 2 pitches as well. We need to treat our copywriters well

**Q **

Gaaaaaaais come on can we dont talk abt work in dis chat 

**Minseokie**

CHOI MINHO

JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN DECKS

DO NOT MAKE CHANGES

HELLO

DO YOU HEAR ME

**Ryeong**

> ** _ [ Q: Gaaaaaaais come on can we dont talk abt work in dis chat ] _ **

Q, give it up. I think everyone is ignoring you

Btw Lead Architect-ssi, you need to send me the UAT for the Kia job. I have to check the skins… the suits are chasing me for an internal review. 

**Q**

Lalalalala not listening not listening

**Minseokie**

CHOI

MIN

HO

HELLO

SEND ME THE DECKS

YOU KNOW WHAT

SEND ME THE ONE FOR HERA FIRST

COME ON 

I NEED TO LEAVE FOR THE PPM ALREADY

AND STOP DICKING AROUND WITH MIMI I NEED HIM FOR THIS PPM!!!!!!!

**Ryeong **

Minseok-ah, breathe. You’re going to have a stroke. 

**Minseokie**

YOU HAVE 1 HOUR TO SEND THE OTHER ONE 

QUICK

THE MEETINGS ARE BACK TO BACK WITH ONLY HALF AN HOUR BUFFER AND I CAN’T TAKE A CAB BECAUSE IT’S RUSH HOUR

**You**

Minseok. Go ahead for HERA. I’ll settle with Minho.

**Mi**

Minseokie, don’t worry. I’m in the lift and heading down. See you at the lobby! 

\--

**Q **

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Q **

LOL is Little Min ok he sounded like he was exploding

oy

don’t ignore ur best friend 

**You**

Oh hello Cho-ssi. I don’t believe you’ve met, but I’ll love to introduce you to something called “work”. Have you heard of the concept “working hours”?

**Q **

Har de har har very funny

Im hiding from Ryeong because there is a kink with the Kia app code

I need to let it simmer….. 

Can’t rush inspiration that way

**You**

You mean because it’s 5:30 in the evening and you fully plan on fucking off in half an hour?

**Q**

Well

that too 😏😏

c’mon so is Little Min ok? I thought he was gonna stomp over here to murder our Shining Producer of the Year

**You**

Your penchant for giving multiple nicknames to everyone you know is a bit disturbing. 

**Q**

pot calling the kettle black

I was happy being Kyu and you had to shorten it to Q?

u just have to type 2 more letters bro that isnt so hard

**You**

Minseok is fine. He’s just under a lot of stress. 

Q

That wall of text didnt sound remotely fine

**You **

Sigh. BoA had a chat with him. I think she meant it as a pep talk but it might have backfired a bit.

**Q**

wait wat HBIC is involved???? the plot thickens!! 

**You**

What is HBIC again?

**Q**

head bitch in charge u noob now quick share with your favourite Q

I thought she left the care and feeding of minseok to you 

**You**

She does, mostly. 

**Q**

wait

and you need to tell me what did she summon u for

is it abt the same thing? is it related to UKNOWWWWW???

**You **

Why is he called Uknow anyway? 

**Q**

UGH SHIM CHANG MIN STOP STALLINGGG!!!!!!

What did the HBIC do to Little Min???

I mean i know he’s a hard worker but normally he isn’t wall of text shouty 

**You**

In his defence, the clients were really riding on his ass since last night but he held them off because he knew Minho was at a shoot. 

**Q**

stop stalling don’t make me COME OVER

**You **

You would never. The last time you did, you said it felt like BoA devoured your soul with her gaze.

**Q**

Omg her eyes.. like laser beams

and then that smile 😖

*shudder* ur boss terrifies me

😖😖😖😖😖

**You**

I think she likes it that way. 

First tell me your impression of Jung Yunho. 

**Q**

Hmm

well bro I’m just a developer with a fancy name

don’t really have a lot of chances to work directly with the creative folks, especially the directors…. Usually Ryeong is the one that interfaces with them

but

before he left previously I did do a pitch with him though. 

The Shilla one in ’16 that we won

the SM wanted a lean mean team machine for the win then so it was Sunny Lee, ur boss, uknow, myself

so just planning - suit - creative - tech

no Project Management no Production no Creative Services…. Sunny Lee was doubling up as copywriter and your boss turned into this terrifying 3-headed suit-PM-producer hybrid

our proposal was pretty end-to-end but it was like a team of 5 (the SM was the frontman presenting) so we pulled like three months’ worth of late nights and burnt weekends in proposal ideation period

I guess his craft is good. 

but he’s more of an ideas man rather than a amazing-mockup-skills-and-let-me-give-you-beautiful-sketches kind of CD… 

I rmb he always used to come up with crazy activations on the spot then all his little art directors and visualisers would scurry to execute it

but for the pitch he actually skinned the CRM tracker we were proposing on his own - didn’t even brief it into Ryeong’s side

oh and you know the Nike Korea account that we lost? 

it was in danger when he was here - the previous ECD on it was apparently high on drugs and very young women - but the SM and NSY made the decision to put him on it for 8 months and he brought it back from the brink

then of course we lost the account when he left anyway

**You**

So he’s solid?

**Q**

he does have a temper tho

Veerrrry passionate for what he believes in

and some of the stuff he thinks is quite out of the box so he needs a firm hand from either suits or PM or Production to rein him in

for that pitch your HBIC went toe-to-toe with him on a lot of shit and they were yelling at each other one moment and then “let’s align on this” in normal conversation volume 

totes like mummy and daddy were fighting and then suddenly “kids what do you want to eat for dinner”?

I think Sunny Lee also had whiplash because she was trying to craft strategy to brief him

then he would come up with something else that was … to be fair… good but heyyyyyyy also overturned her strat on the spot

and a lot of his ideas were big bold expensive as fuck 

ur boss was like “bitch we cant spend theoretical money like water we don’t have the biz yet and they are evaluating on spending efficiencies”

but he was like “we shouldn’t let money kill creativity” and then off they would go again

**You**

Oh my god. He sounds like a fucking nightmare. 

**Q**

W h y? Bro… u’ve handled worse

look at Kim Jaejoong 😒

**You**

Don’t remind me. And you were right. Your Uknow is his replacement.

Fuck my life.

**Q**

OMG R U SRS???????

so what

is Kim Emo Creep fired????

**You**

Yes I’m serious. Guess who had to do the honours?

**Q**

N O

O M G 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

well i mean he had it coming

all the moaning and groaning and skipping and not delivering

I know his painting and that gallery is his baby and all

but then

well

just quit to look after it and put everybody and their mother out of their misery then

...or getting fired works too hahahhahah

**You**

Yeah, keep laughing. You didn’t have to sit down with him and keep a straight face on and break the news to him ** _at lunch hour_ **. 

**Q **

shiiiiiit

full diva tantrum?

**You**

And then some. He kicked a chair. 

**Q**

!!!!! 😳

The chair broke?

**You**

I think his foot did. The chair moved. There was a lot of screaming and some tears. 

**Q**

LOL!!!!!!!

**You**

And I had to do it within 20 minutes of hearing the fucking news myself. 

😪

**Q**

Why didn’t HBIC do it herself? Not like she’s shy about ripping him a new one. 

i cant stop laughing

**You **

She had a lunchtime meeting

**Q**

LOL as if… probably with uknow maybe

**You **

You haven’t told me what’s the deal with “Uknow”.

**Q**

Heechul... Victoria’s boss? gave him that nickname. Cuz he likes to go “You know… you know?” when he talks. Like… “You know, Yunho?” And then Yunho chatspeaks too so it became Uknow.

**You**

?? I don’t know.

That’s an absolutely asinine reason for a nickname.

**Q**

yeah well ur ShimChwang bc we were so drunk u couldn’t introduce urself properly to that girl rmb

**You**

Speak for yourself. I was only buzzed.

**Q**

lol blackout drunk my good man

**You**

Says the person who vomited so hard that we are still banned from that bar

**Q **

drinking at home like the sad old men we r iz still da best

dont think uve wiggled out

What abt Little Min then 

**You**

No, so - 

She sat me down first to talk about Kim Emo Creep and how Jung Yunho is his replacement. 

Then she kind of got a bit weird and said she knows Jung is a handful, so I probably will go through an adjustment period and how his style is a bit of an acquired taste. I thought that was that, but she asked me to pull Minseok over too.

I think she saw how frazzled he is over the upcoming Hera shoot and sort of got the wrong idea. 

**Q**

huh

“a handful”? LOLOLOLOL

  


**You**

What?

**Q**

The visualisers kind of have a running gag about that

cuz

well

uknow is kind of a big boy

uknow?

🍌🍆🥒🌽🥖🌭

**You **

No I don’t fucking know and I **do not** want to know. 

**Q**

so

a handful

ehhehehehehehehhehehehehhe maybe more than a handful hehehehheheheheh

**You**

Remind me again why we are friends?

**Q**

becuz u love me honeypie

waaaait

so Little Min???????? tell me!!

**You**

Nothing! She had him come over and told him the same thing. But poor Minseok was confused because he didn’t even know Kim Emo Creep was getting fired.

**Q **

I like it that ur using my nickname for him

ignore me pls go on

**You**

Ignoring. 

The Emo Creep actually has been misbehaving most with Minseok. There was a client presentation with HERA team where he just went AWOL and didn’t bother to even text Minseok. Who nearly had a panic attack because the key creative was nowhere. 

Didn’t help matters that I wasn’t there too. BoA and I were at the BIC Awards schmoozefest. 

Mi had to step in to present. And that’s just one incident of many. 

**Q**

when I had lunch with Mi last week

he did say Emo Creep has been rude as fuck

he feels like he’s the sole creative on the account paired with an art intern

BURNNN 

so he hasn’t actually been misbehaving with you?

**You**

I don’t think he quite dares to. Small things, passive aggressive comments, complaints about timelines. But he reserves most of the acting out for Minseok. Who took it as a sign of personal failure.

**Q**

aw Little Min noooo

**You**

I get the feeling there’s also a fuckton of disappointment from Minseok’s end. He did tell me before Emo Creep’s old MCM campaign was one of the things that inspired him to join the industry.

**Q**

The one that you did with Emo Creep and a bunch of other people when you were an SAE waaay back yonks?

lol how old was Little Min then? 

15? 12?????

**You**

I’m not that old. 

Anyway back to this morning.

So after Emo Creep’s news + BoA’s warning about Jung, I think the info got somehow warped in Minseok’s head. He seems to think it’s him that got Emo Creep fired and BoA’s peptalk is a warning that he’s next.

**Q**

?????

uh 

why would ur boss not just say “ur fired” if she wants to fire him

not her style to beat around the bush

and she’s the regional lead

i mean the gap in seniority between the 2 of them

why would she be shy if she really wanted to fire Little Min

**You**

She thinks he’s doing a fantastic job, by the way.

I need to talk to him.

**Q**

yeaaaah

**You **

But first, I need to talk to Jung Yunho. 

**Q**

oh yeah

well good luck bro u got this

Which of your accounts is he on?

**You**

All of them.

**Q**

WHAT

uh

rly?

Chwang, I dunno maybe he’s evolved 

😳😳😳 but i never did get the vibe that uknow is a fashion and skincare metrosexual

uh

good luck i guess 

* * *

From: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: Yunho

Changmin, 

On what you asked for: I got Yunho to send his portfolio to me. The case studies and mood boards should be good for you to have an idea of his capabilities. It’s from last year but well he says it’s the most current...

If you need more recent examples, have a look at his Instagram page, you can see some of the awards films he's cut for Cannes and Effies. 

His handle: @UKYH___

Btw thanks for delivering the news to Jaejoong. I owe you one.

Management is giving him garden leave, so he’ll be out of our hair by next Wednesday. 

PS. Don’t worry. I told him to call you Max. 

Thanks,

BoA

BOA** KWON** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _BUSINESS DIRECTOR, REGIONAL LEAD (APAC-EMEA)_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: boa.kwon@sment.org

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re: Onboarding

Hi Yunho -

This is Max. We haven’t been formally introduced, but perhaps BoA has mentioned me. 

I’m the Senior Account Director on the regional Fashion/Beauty/Gaming portfolio under her care.

There’s quite a bit to onboard you on, so let me know when you’re free to link up. 

Does Monday morning sound good? 

We can get the exiting incumbent to handover then. If you need more information, we can always do a deep dive on Tuesday.

Cheers

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Onboarding

Hey Max, hi! 👋 Nice to meet you😁 How about now? I can pop over!

Yun.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re Onboarding

Hi Yunho -

Given how it’s a Friday evening, I think Monday morning is more feasible. 

We need the incumbent for this too. Is your calendar open for Monday 9:30am? I can get my team to drop a calendar invite.

Cheers

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Onboarding

Hey Max, don’t take this the wrong way, but no time like the present to hit the ground running 🏃♂️🏃♂️ I can do right now 🕖🕖🕖

The incumbent you’re referring to Kim Jaejoong right?

It’s fine, don’t need to get anything from him...🙈

You and I can chat now and just hook me up with his writing partner on Monday.

Zhou Mi right?

Nice guy. We had a quick talk in the pantry today! Looking forward to jam on all sorts of crazy things with him💪💪💪

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re Onboarding

Yunho - 

It’s currently 7:58pm on a Friday night. Apologies but I have a prior commitment for the evening

Let’s chat on Monday. Mark - my AE - will drop an invite.  


Max.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Onboarding

Yeah it’s barely 8 still bright and early!🌄🌄🌄

C’mon it’s our first day working together…. If you’re not serious about it, might as well quit now...😫😱😅🤣

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Kyu, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Fw:Re:Re Onboarding

Q - 

See below. I was right. He is a fucking nightmare.

I have a suspicion either you or Minseok or even Mark is going to have to hold onto my leash really fucking tightly, otherwise I will commit fucking murder.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re:Re [OOO] Onboarding

Hi, 

Thank you for your email. I am currently away from the office due to it being the weekend. 

For urgent matters, please Whatsapp, Kakao or Telegram. 

If not, I will respond to your emails come Monday morning.

Best,

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Notes and demystifying the jargon:**  
\- Cannes Lions: The Academy Awards of the advertising industry. Essays can be written about this but suffice it to say that the awards are complicated and people have and will "cheat" on entries to make it to the shortlists.  
\- Shim's job: Suits are known informally as, well, suits. But formally a multitude of department names apply; Client Servicing, Client Management, Account Servicing, and most commonly Account Management.  
\- What is a Suit: A good Suit is a jack-of-all-trades. He or she is the person who knits the account together. I have known suits who also are part planners, copywriters, traffic, project managers, art directors. I have also known suits who are basically messengers.  
\- The career path of a suit: account executive (AE) > snr. account executive >...manager ranks > all the different director ranks > business director etc etc.  
\- CD/ECD: Creative Director/Executive Creative Director. Can be either copy (words) or art (visual).  
\- Art and Copy: Creative folks. An account/brand/project usually needs at least one copy-art pair. They go together and never shall they be torn asunder.  
\- PMs or Project Managers: A good PM basically has some suiting skills + the skill set of the more traditional Traffic Manager's scope of managing creative resources in an agency + a dash of digital/technical savviness. Creative Services overarches both. It is not yet mentioned in this chapter but Heechul is both Victoria's boss and a Creative Services Director.  
\- Q is a Lead Architect: Larger agencies can give their developers more of a hierarchical structure. Kyu's rank basically means he is the highest he can climb as a developer whilst still being able to code and not have to wrangle people as his formal KPI.  
\- UX Lead: Stands for User Experience Lead. Basically Ryeong is a senior creative/designer who specialises in User Experience and creating things for Kyu to code for, that makes sense to a consumer. Rather than say, something that has the unnecessarily complicated interface of Starcraft... Agencies have UX and Dev services as brands do seek their expertise in creating sites/apps/tracker experiences and so on.  
\- PPM: Pre production meeting. Sessions where you sit down and talk about what the fuck you are going to shoot/produce. Clients and agency folks both attend. Key attendees from the agency would be the suit, the creative, the producer. It is a NO NO for an Art creative to miss a PPM. Especially if you are the only Art.  
\- Garden leave: If you are utter shit or you are going to work for a direct competitor, the management will give you this to fuck off ASAP.  
\- Calendar invites: Suits are very fond of these. Creatives hate these.


	3. Take This Offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is uncomfortably autobiographical except we were way busier and did a lot more work.

"Welcome to BT Conferencing. Please enter your pass-code followed by the hash key."

"Beep beep beep- beep beep beep. Beep."

"After the tone, please record your name followed by your organisation."

"SM Enterprises."

"Thank you. Your participants have not yet arrived. Now joining-"

"- late, as usual. We can go over the client structure for HERA, WOOYOUNGMI and Zombie Strike later. I just want this session to give you the broad strokes of the current creative direction for all three because they all require pretty different headspaces."

"Oh, no, Max. Don’t worry about it…. It’s fine. I mean, like what I said on Friday; I don’t think I need to talk to him. I don’t think I’ll get anything from him, you know? I’ve worked with him before. And... yeah, that expression on your face pretty much sums up my professional opinion about him.”

“Be it as it may. Since Kim Jaejoong is still the incumbent, it’s his duty to share a final update in the form of a handover with the team. It’s not just for you. It’s for our benefit as well. Minseok, did he respond to you?”

“Sorry boss- still trying. He’s not answering and it just goes straight to voicemail.”

“C’mon Max, no rush. And hi boys! We haven’t met. I mean I know your boss,  _ he’ _ s Max, but you guys! Hi- I’m Yunho! You can call me Uknow.”

“Pleasure. Minseok.”

“H-hello. I’m Mark.”

“Yes, well- apologies, there wasn’t a good time to introduce the team-”

“Ah, don’t worry about it, really!”

“... As I was saying. This is Minseok - my account manager. For HERA and WOOYOUNGMI, he’s the lead suit contact and runs the day-to-day. For Zombie Strike, the nature of the account is a bit special. I’m handling this one directly. Mark is our account executive and supports the both of us.”

“Cool! Ha, you guys are the M-and-M-and-Ms. Max Minseok Mark!“

“...Mark, are we on mute?”

“Y-yes boss.”

“All right. Minseok, any luck?”

“He’s not picking up. This is crazy. Can we escalate?”

“Maybe we-”

“Hello?”

“Hi, w-who just joined?”

“Hey Mark. It’s Mi here. Downtown traffic’s quite bad this morning…. Thought I’ll dial in then you guys won’t have to wait for me.”

“Oh, hey M-Mi-hyung.”

“Mi-hyung, this is ridiculous.”

“Minseok, that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Sorry, can you help me text Kim Jaejoong too? We can’t reach him. Again.”

“Haha! Seriously…. Okay, I’ll drop him a text.”

“On second thoughts, do you mind calling him? Sorry!”

“No problem.”

“Hey, Mi!”

“Hi, who’s that? Didn’t quite catch your name.”

“Hey, it’s Yunho!”

“Oh! Uknow-hyung! Morning!”

“Morning! How’re ya?”

“Ha! Well it’s Monday morning.... How are we all.”

“Yeah, Monday, you know, but-”

“Sorry to interrupt. Mi, can you reach him?”

“Huh, wait- who is that? Cha- ahem,  **Max** , is that you?”

“Yup. Good morning.”

“Oh, whoa. You’re joining the handover too? But you’re crazy busy. Look.... The boys and I can handle one puny Kim Jaejoong for Uknow-hyung.”

“Hurhurhur, you know, you sound like a contract killer, Mi.”

“Only for my Uknow-hyung~”

“Yeah, no. Kim Jaejoong is a bit sensitive for management right now. Anyway, let’s not waste everyone’s time. Mi, how far out are you?”

“About ten minutes? But Ch- I mean,  **Max** , we really can-”

“Let’s reconvene at... Ten o’clock? I don’t think we need to wait for Kim Jaejoong to do this then. You and I can talk through the client and creative side of things for Yunho in fifteen.”

“Oookay, if you are sure. I happen to know that Siwon is hunting you down because he wants to pitch a new social content model for WOOYOUNGMI, and Leeteuk swore he is going to scream at you this morning for taking up too much of my hours again. So…”

“Those can wait. See you in fifteen. Mark, do you mind-?”

“Yes, okay! Bye h-hyung!”

“Beep.”

\--

From: Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) >

To: BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > 

Re: [URGENT] Kim Jaejoong

AWOL this morning and does fuck all to connect with my boys. They can’t reach him. His writing partner can’t reach him. I can’t reach him. Creative Services doesn’t know where the fuck he is.

This is me formally escalating to you.

Max.

\--

From: BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > 

To: Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) >

Re:Re: [URGENT] Kim Jaejoong

** _What_ ** ? My office, now. 

I’m going to ask Youngmin-nim and Soyoung-nim to drop in. 

Let’s close this today.

\--

From: Mark, Lee <mark.lee [ @sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > 

To: Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) >

Re: Yunho-hyung’s onboarding session

Minseok-hyung, it’s 10:10 and boss is still in Big Boss’ office.

Do we go get him? He told Uknow-hyung and Mi-hyung 10am right?

\--

From: Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) >

To: Mark, Lee <mark.lee [ @sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > 

Re:Re: Yunho-hyung’s onboarding session

Don’t make any sudden noises and just follow my lead.

I don’t think boss likes Uknow-hyung much… So let’s tread carefully, yeah?

\--

From: Mark, Lee <mark.lee [ @sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > 

To: Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) >

Re: Yunho-hyung’s onboarding session

Yes!!!! 

Hyung, but… Uknow-hyung is quite cool right?

\--

From: Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) >

To: Mark, Lee <mark.lee [ @sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > 

Re:Re: Yunho-hyung’s onboarding session

Yes.

\--

From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

Re: Creative Resource for HERA/WYM/Zombie - Yunho

Heechul, can you drop by my desk for 5 minutes?

I want to talk about Yunho’s placement.

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

To: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

Re:Re: Creative Resource for HERA/WYM/Zombie - Yunho

Teuk,

Sure. BTW - I aligned with BoA yesterday. He’s personally on those 3 accounts but will also oversee Kia and Korean Air. Donghae and Hyukjae have a good thing going there so she doesn’t see the need for him to get up close and personal. 

  
  


H.

\--

From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: Creative Resource for HERA/WYM/Zombie - Yunho

? So he’s fully on the regional side now?

Is she paying for him 100%? 

I wasn’t aware of this. 

You know some of the struggling accounts will love to have his magic touch.

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

To: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

Re:Re: Creative Resource for HERA/WYM/Zombie - Yunho

75-25 split, 75% for hers. 

The alignment with seongsaeng-nim and Youngmin-nim is that that 25% is reserved for pitches. 

  
  


H.

\--

From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: Creative Resource for HERA/WYM/Zombie - Yunho

I am not aligned. Let’s discuss.

\--

From: Siwon, Choi <siwon.choi@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

Re: Brainstorm for wooyoungmi’s social strategy

Hey Max,

I have an amazing idea for an absolutely disruptive campaign for wooyoungmi. It’s gonna be 100% Kakao and Instagram only and those Gen Z kids won’t know what hit them. We’ll do a social activation with a complete takeover to create buzz and make everyone fall in love with high fashion!

Let’s get dinner tonight? I got us a table at 8pm for two at L’Amitie. 

We can talk about this then. Can’t wait.

Warmest regards,

Siwon. 

**SIWON CHOI** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

_ Bringing you effective advertising campaigns since 1989 _

**HEAD OF CONTENT AND ACTIVATION**

_ Winner of Muse Creative Awards 2019, Social Media (Silver), Strategic Program (Rose Gold) _

T:  +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: siwon.choi [ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuhyun.cho@sment.org>; Sunny, Lee <sunny.lee@sment.org>

CC: Victoria, Song <victoria.song@sment.org>

Re: Kia app UAT

Hi Kyuhyun,

Please send over the revised code and staging link so Sunny and I can review the UAT.

Ryeowook Kim | UX Lead | SM Enterprises Ltd 

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuhyun.cho@sment.org>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org> ; Sunny, Lee <sunny.lee@sment.org>

CC: Victoria, Song <victoria.song@sment.org>

Ryeonggu,

Can you pop over to my seat? Let’s huddle first

**@sunny.lee ** Sorry Sunny-yah give us about half an hour, we need to work out a kink first

Thank you,

Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun Cho | Lead Architect | SM Enterprises Ltd

\--

From: Sunny, Lee <sunny.lee@sment.org>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho < [ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org) > ; Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

CC: Victoria, Song <victoria.song@sment.org>

Guys: 

I’ve been waiting for this UAT session since last week. I told you I need to see your flow to make sure there are no gaps in the digital consumer journey.

I’m coming over. 

-Sunny

\--

From: HR, SM Ent. <humanresources@sment.org>

To: Jaejoong, Kim <jaejoong.kim@sment.org>

CC: Soyoung, Nam <soyoung.nam@sment.org>; Youngmin, Kim <youngmin.kim@sment.org> ; BoA, Kwon <boa.kwon@sment.org>

To: Mr. Kim Jaejoong

This is an official  _ persona non grata  _ notice that is served to you as of Monday, 16:59 hours, XX-XX-XXXX. Please note that this serves as an official termination of your employment with the company effective as of the time of this notice. 

You are required by law to return all fixed assets as well as company information and materials as was shared with you, pertaining to the agency as well as organisations of which that agency had offered service to, with your participation. Please do so by latest Tuesday, 09:00 hours, XX-XX-XXXX. A HR rep will be available at the ground floor reception area to assist you. 

Gentle reminder that all confidentiality clauses and non-disclosure agreements as signed with the agency during your employment period, extends for 12 month(s) beyond the termination of your employment with the agency.

Thank you for your cooperation. We wish you all the best in your future endeavours. 

  
  


Warmest wishes, 

HR Department

SM ENTERPRISES LTD. 

\--

From: Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) >

To: Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) >

Re: Your Onboarding

Yunho - 

Are you available to do a quick session about HERA’s active projects in this quarter? Mark has sent an invite to your inbox - I have half an hour. 

Please come to my desk.

Best,

Max. 

MAX  **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T:  +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E:  [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Minho, Choi <minho.choi@sment.org>

To: Minseok, Kim <minseok.kim@sment.org>

CC: Mark, Lee <mark.lee@sment.org>

Re: [PPM] HERA -- revisions for agency Round 2

Hey bro,

I’m really sorry about last Friday. Sending you the link for the revisions the production house has done for the Hera PPM deck.  ** _bit.ly/xxyyxx_ **

Mi has a copy too and I’ve forwarded a copy to Uknow-hyung (did he ask you to call him Uknow too? That’s so cool!!) for them both to discuss and give 1 creative POV. 

Is Uknow-hyung up to speed?

Btw office gozz: I heard there was drama with Kim JJ after he did a no-show on you for last week’s PPM.

Anyway - let me know if you want me to pop over to regroup? I know you want to run this by Max as well. We have till tomorrow 11am to share feedback for the production house to fix. 

  
  


MH

PS. Mark, how did you find your first PPM? Did Minseok-hyung scare the shit out of you?

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <minseok.kim@sment.org>

To: Minho, Choi <minho.choi@sment.org>

CC: Mark, Lee <mark.lee@sment.org>

Re: Re: [PPM] HERA -- revisions for agency Round 2

We absolutely need to regroup but not right now. 

Uknow-hyung is at my area and walking over to my boss’ desk. I think they have a meeting. 

Kim JJ did a no-show this morning too. He was supposed to do a handover session with Uknow-hyung so Mi and him can pick things up smoothly. 

Max was furious… 

PS. Stop bothering my AE. He did well. 

\--

From: Minho, Choi <minho.choi@sment.org>

To: Minseok, Kim <minseok.kim@sment.org>

CC: Mark, Lee <mark.lee@sment.org>

Re:Re: [PPM] HERA -- revisions for agency Round 2

Juicy!!!!!! Do you think Kim JJ will finally be fired? 

I heard from Mi that Max doesn’t like Uknow-hyung, is that true?

Ahhhh can’t I come over? I want to see with my own eyes.

PS. Mark loves me!

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <minseok.kim@sment.org>

To: Minho, Choi <minho.choi@sment.org>

CC: Mark, Lee <mark.lee@sment.org>

Re: Re: [PPM] HERA -- revisions for agency Round 2

You can. 

PS. Get your own Mark. 

\--

From: Siwon, Choi <siwon.choi@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

Fw:Re: Brainstorm for wooyoungmi’s social strategy

Hey Max, you ready to go? 

**SIWON CHOI** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

_ Bringing you effective advertising campaigns since 1989 _

**HEAD OF CONTENT AND ACTIVATION**

_ Winner of Muse Creative Awards 2019, Social Media (Silver), Strategic Program (Rose Gold) _

T:  +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: siwon.choi [ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

Re:Re: Your Onboarding

Hiya Max! 

Thanks for the chat on HERA just now…. Actually I have some thoughts on the upcoming shoot but I don’t suppose you are free now? Or do you have another prior commitment? 😅 🏃 😅 🏃

PS. You should call me Uknow! ✌✌✌

\--

From: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

To: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org>

Re:Re: Your Onboarding

Yunho - 

I’m available. I’ll come over to your area. The corner office overlooking the visualisers, right? 

Max. 

\--

From Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

Re:Re: Your Onboarding

Yeah that's right 😊

Do you need dinner? It’s nearly 8…

\--

From: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

To: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org>

Re:Re: Your Onboarding

Yunho - 

Minseok just ran the revised PPM deck by me as well. 

Coming over. See you. 

Max.

\--

**Siwon Choi SMEnt**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Siwon Choi SMEnt**

Hey Max! Did you see my email? I’m at L’Amitie now.

Max?

Hi…

**You**

Hey Siwon, sorry. It’s been a crazy day. 

I think I missed your email. Anyway, I'm still at the office - good night!

**Siwon Choi SMEnt**

Oh shit man that’s not good, it’s 10 at night

Are you ok? Have you had dinner? I can bring you delivery!

**You**

No, that’s fine. I’m in a brainstorm session with Yunho. 

**Siwon Choi SMEnt**

oh

ok

Uknow is on your projects?

**You**

No time to chat - sorry. We have a lot to get through

Thanks for the invitation!

**Siwon Choi SMEnt**

No problem

Rain check? 

\--

**@UKYH___**

> <artfully taken top-down picture of Mexican-Thai beef tacos and a side of pico de gallo with a desaturated filter>
> 
> Liked by  **boaconstrictor ** and  **763 others**
> 
> **UKYH___** Nothing like good food to get the creative juices flowing. 🌋 Late night jamming at the office but new work - new partner - exciting times ahead!!💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 It’s great to be back! #creativelife #agency #backtothegrind #officeantics
> 
> _ View all 81 comments _
> 
> **suhoism1** welcome back Uknow-hyung! Your work at 85Club was inspired and w...
> 
> **boaconstrictor** babe, it’s only the 2nd day. Have you trapped Mi at the office already?
> 
> **zhou.mi** lol no I’m at home 

\--

**Q **

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Kill me. 

**Q**

bro wtf

it’s 1am

**You **

I’m still in the fucking office

**Q**

WTF? I thought you told HBIC no more pitches for at least 6 months?   
  


**You**

It’s not a pitch.

It’s Jung Yunho

**Q**

WHAT THE FUCK 

😂😂😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

dude it’s literally his 2nd day at work

what is there to do at 1am???

**You**

Third day, now.

**Q**

THE FUCK ARE U 2 DOING?

SHIMCHWANG!!

**You**

I may have made a slight miscalculation.

**Q**

?????

**You**

Siwon from Content was being sleazy again and since I had a regroup with Yunho because of all that fucked up shit with Emo Creep, I kind of extended it just so I could avoid Siwon.

**Q**

u

wat

lol good luck

u killed yourself goodbye

u just signed up for endless passionate “jam sessions” for as long as you are with SME

talk abt out of the frying pan and into the fire

**You**

All this passion is fucking exhausting.

Okay at least he doesn’t try to touch me.

**Q**

bro u really need to talk to HR abt Siwon

**You **

I can handle him

**Q**

lol true that i have no doubt   
Whether you can handle Uknow Yunho tho

**You**

Am I consoling myself if I say “at least he seems to have some brains”

**Q**

yes

**You**

ugh i have to go he looked over and noticed i was using my phone so now he has the bright idea of wanting my number

**Q**

LOL

yeah sure

give it to him 

24/7 nonstop endless jamming sessions with extended play 

Weekend texts of “hey Max I saw this!! Thought of that project! let’s change everything! again!!” 

Calls at midnight “hey Max I have an idea!!”

😱 

😱

😱

**You**

You’re not fucking funny

I can’t not give it to him… It doesn’t make sense for work. 

😪

**Q**

It was nice knowing you 

my bro my man my ShimChwang

ur ass is gonna be stamped with property of uknow now 

well at least that might deter siwon

**You**

I can control him. I have to.

BoA says she knows I can

**Q**

LOL

Well

If the HBIC decrees

have fun now bro im going back to Starcraft

**You**

Wow thanks dickhead.

So much for being a best friend

**Q**

bro being ur best mate means i have faith in u

when u wake up from your rage and realise u murdered uknow yunho

its ok

i’ll help hide the body

**You **

Fuck off

\--

**BoA Constrictor**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**BoA Constrictor **

It’s been a week, Mr Hotshot CD. How are you settling in?

**You **

My goddesssss 👸👸👸👸👸

Like I’ve never been away 🤣😅 That probably says a lot...

**BoA Constrictor**

LOL. And how is Hojoon?

**You**

HJ is fine! 85Club got a new Art and he’s showing them the ropes 

**BoA Constrictor**

Any regrets? I mean, I know 85Club is your baby.

**You**

Well, it still is in a way LOL!

It’s just that I’m not there physically

**BoA Constrictor**

So Legal said there is no conflict of interest?

**You**

Yeah🤗

85Club does experiential design with art clients in the culture space. And SME is a more traditional agency, so we are all good. 

I’m just a stakeholder now, without an active role...

…...I won’t deny that getting to work with you and Heechullie-hyung again is a huge plus.

I missed you two😍😍😍😍😍

**BoA Constrictor**

<3 

Anyway, so you and Changmin are good?

**You**

Who’s Changmin?

**BoA Constrictor**

Oh

**You **

HAHHAHAH hey i know you think I’m forgetful

But 😅 deleting that message doesn’t mean my memory’s so bad that I will forget “Changmin”

Who’s that? 🤔I saw that name before. 

**BoA Constrictor**

Ok

It’s Max

But DO NOT call him that during work, he thinks it’s unprofessional. Long story, he said when he was an intern, people kept mangling it so ever since then he decided to make everyone use “Max” instead. Less fuss that way.

And DO NOT let him know that I was the one who told you.

**You**

LOL

BoA-yah, are you afraid of your Lead Minion?

**BoA Constrictor**

I’m still waiting for Heechul to call him that to his face. 

Jokes aside - you two are good?

**You**

Why wouldn’t we be? Yeah, he’s cool. 😎

**BoA Constrictor**

Well, Jung Yunho, you know you have a talent for pissing people off right?

Max is my right hand man and you are not allowed to misbehave and make him leave me.

**You **

Wow😐🤔😐🤔😐🤔

Nice to know where I stand in your affections😶

**BoA Constrictor**

Yeah no you’re ok

But my professional life here will crumble if Max leaves

One of him is like worth 10 account directors. 

**You**

BoA, are you secretly in love with your Lead Minion?

It’s ok I won’t judge 🤐

He’s a younger man right😏

**BoA Constrictor**

Jung Yunho, you are such a gossiping old ajumma.

NO! LOL it’s not like that. 

But Max is very, very good at his job. And not that much younger. 

31?

**You**

And also easy on the eyes…😏😏😏😏😏

Hmm

31

He should call me hyung then 

**BoA Constrictor**

Don’t even think about it

He’s not like that

Although I can’t say I’m surprised

You always do have a kink for taller men. And younger men. And pretty men.

Max is all three 😏

**You **

So he’s straight?

**BoA Constrictor **

I wonder if all your little fanboys and girls know how gossipy you really are?

**You **

Don’t tease😭

**BoA Constrictor**

I’m not sure… I haven’t seen him date in the 2 years he’s been here. 

Max’s willpower is very strong 

**You **

what does that mean

**BoA Constrictor**

You know Victoria Song?

**You**

Long hair, big eyes… senior PM?

Looks like a doll

**BoA Constrictor**

That’s the one

She’s been after him for the longest time.

**You**

😮

**BoA Constrictor**

And Siwon… I know Heechul introduced you both

He’s after Max too 

**You **

Of course that manwhore is 🙄

He has eyes 👀

**BoA Constrictor**

LOL JUNG YUNHO YOU DID NOT

You’ve only known that man for one week and that is uncharacteristically bitchy of you.

**You**

So which one is your Max interested in?

**BoA Constrictor**

Neither.

So tbh I feel it’s either his willpower is very strong or he’s just not interested period.

**You **

Your “willpower thing is strong” comment seems to be quite true though

**BoA Constrictor**

Why? 

What. Did you. Do. 

**You**

Nothing!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I told you, we’re cool.

Sometimes it’s just quite amusing because he looks like he wants to shout at me and then his lips flatten into a completely straight line and then he takes a deep breath and he’s back to being as cool as a cucumber

It’s quite fascinating to watch.

Like 😳😠😤😑🙂

He’s like…. An emoji machine!

**BoA Constrictor**

Jung Yunho

I’m serious.

Do not piss off my best suit.

**You**

Why is he not spearheading all the brands under you then?

**BoA Constrictor**

You’re fishing.

**You**

And I admit it 😇😇😇😇😇😇

I’m just curious about him

He seems very guarded😶

And intense

Quiet

but intense…. 

**BoA Constrictor**

He doesn’t want to.

His interest lies precisely in the accounts he’s handling.

**You **

😳A zombie mobile game and a mass-premium skincare brand and designer menswear??

**BoA Constrictor**

My Max is a very classy boy with diverse interests.

**You**

You don’t seem to have the same amount of adoration for your Kia and Korean Air teams🙃

**BoA Constrictor**

That’s why I’m only saying it to YOU. 

Sigh. 

I don’t want to talk about it.

**You**

You know my lips are sealed🤐

🙃Kia and Korean Air are just 2 accounts and you have 7 suits in total on them?

whereas 

**BoA Constrictor**

I told you. Max is very, very good. 

Before he came onboard, his three brands were helmed by an account director each and they all had account managers supporting them. And an AE. And an intern. 

But somehow Max is able to do it with 3 bodies and he grew fee revenue by 17% last year. 

**You**

Sorry, all that suitspeak flew over my head 🙉

Basically you’re just gushing he’s very good 🤣

**BoA Constrictor**

LOL.

Yes! He is. 

Although if you tell anyone I said it, I would absolutely deny it.

**You**

🤣 you do know you have a crazy mythical ball buster reputation right

people keep asking me about you and some of them just met me

“Are you intimidated by BoA?”

Whaaaaaat? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

**BoA Constrictor**

Yes. It is precisely engineered that way. 

**You **

You’re just a giant marshmallow 😌

**BoA Constrictor**

No one will believe that and I am very pleased about it. 

\--

**🎮 Kyuline**

_ Q, Ryeong, The Shining Minho, Minseokie, Mi, Victoria Song SMEnt, You _

🔒Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

_ You removed Victoria Song SMEnt, Minseokie _

**You**

WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKTARDS TOLD JUNG YUNHO MY NAME IS CHANGMIN

**Q**

whoa

**Ryeong**

Min-ah, did you just remove Victoria and Minseok??

**Mi**

I have been very very careful to call you Max during all our internal reviews!

**The Shining Minho**

Hyung, I even *write* you as “Max” in my emails…

**You**

Yes I removed them. It doesn’t involve Victoria and I don’t want Minseok to see me shouting in caps. God knows he sees enough of that in internal reviews. 

Q YOU FUCKING DICK 

DID YOU DO IT

YOU FUCKER

**Q**

No!!!!!!

**You**

YOURE THE ONLY ONE HERE THAT WOULD ABSO FUCKING LUTELY DO IT FOR FUCKING SHIT AND GIGGLES

I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU

**Q**

bro

ok first of all im not gonna get mad cuz I still remember Emo Creep fake-lisping “Chaaaami Tanmi Bambi Minnie Minnie Minnie” at you during presentations and how we all nearly threw up

but

bro 

Think about it

why would i tell uknow this for shit and giggles

if i want to have shit and giggles I’ll tell Siwon

what did uknow do

he propagated his own ridic nickname so did he do that to you

look he probably just wants to be friendly

ur boss is like one of his besties and he calls her “boa constrictor” for fucks sake

i don’t think it’s like that bunch of people in your intern days

**Mi**

He does have a point. 

I’m assuming this long silence means Changmin’s calmed down…

**Ryeong**

Don’t worry about it. We sorted it out. I’ll add those two back in now. 

_ Ryeong added Minseok, Mi, Victoria Song SMEnt _   
  


\--

"Welcome to BT Conferencing. Please enter your passcode followed by the hash key."

"Beep beep beep- beep beep beep. Beep."

"After the tone, please record your name followed by your organisation."

"Jung Yunho, SME."

"Thank you. Your host has not yet arrived. Please hold."

“...”

“Now joining.”

“Hello, this is Max. Who’s on the line?”

“Hey Changmin, it’s Yunho! You know, I think the clients are late.”

“.....................Yeah. I’ll text them. The Zombie Strike clients are a bit informal.”

  
“Okay!”

“While we’re waiting - I just want to clarify something.”

“Okay?”

“Please call me Max.”

“Oh but Changmin is such a nice name!”

“... I am aware. Nevertheless-”

“Is this a professionalism thing?”

“Wh- Beg pardon?”

“Like - you use a name for work that’s easy to remember, and that’s tied to your professional image.”

“I - yes. I guess you can say that.”

“Cool! Then can I call you Changmin outside of work?”

“I don’t think…”

“Oh c’mon, that’s outside of work, Changmin!”

“You’re saying it now!”

“The clients haven’t dialled in yet, so this is outside of work, y’know.”

“We are in working hours, Jung!”

“HAHA! Am I Jung now?”

“You-”

“You should be calling me hyung. I heard you’re younger than me!” 

“What the-”

“Hi!”

“Hello!”

“Hi, who just joined - Team Zombie Strike, is that you?”

“Yep hi, it’s us! Max, is that you? Can you hear us clearly?”

“Yes, we can. I just wanted to do a quick call to introduce our new Creative Director, that will be leading creative efforts from our end. Yunho, this is Team Zombie Strike - Jinyoung-nim, Miryo-nim. 

“Hi clients, thanks  ** _Max_ ** for introducing me. Looking forward to working on the campaigns!” 

“Yes - lovely. Ladies, I just want to check in, about the CRM proposal we shared the other day…” 

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Demystifying the jargon:  
\- AM: Account Manager. Shim, being the Senior Account Director, is Minseok's direct supervisor/boss/line manager. Meanwhile, an AE mainly reports to the AM, ie. Shim does not manage Mark directly.  
\- BT Conferencing: Just one of many conference call providers. Skype for Business also serves a similar function.  
\- Conference calls: Regional accounts have a hard on for this. At one point in time, I had multiple concalls every day of the week.  
\- Onboarding/Handover sessions: Corporate jargon for "freshman orientation now let me dump work on you". It is good taste to do a proper handover to your replacement even if you are on the last day of your notice. That is how uncool flaking out on a handover is.  
\- "Aligning about creative resource": Basically means "which project we are going to put who on". Agencies have an entire department (Creative Services) whose fundamental purpose is parcelling people around like cattle and making sure you get maximum productivity without anyone being overworked. In theory. In theory, Creative Services should also know if a creative is on leave (no matter how urgent) or sick or wherever the fuck they are, just so that CS can better arrange resources.  
\- "Aligning": We're all very fond of this. It is a fancy corporate way of saying "to agree and bitch don't you dare back out because I have written proof".  
\- Creative time on accounts: The way any resource (creative, suits, planners etc etc) are allocated to each project, in essence, depends on how much the client brand is paying for their time. Money talks. If I am a brand that is flinging, say, 400k USD for Creative Director!Jung's time alone on my projects, he better be working on my projects and no others. Pitches are an exception.  
\- Gen Z: I'm pretty sure quite a lot of you here are in this age segment. Unforch, you are the main target audience now for advertising and marketing efforts. You're not lit if you are not appealing to Gen Z. Millennials are sadly now second class citizens...  
\- "social activation", "takeover", "buzz": Basically HoC!Siwon is throwing out a bunch of buzzwords in hopes that Shim will grow a hardon and deigned to be wine-and-dined.  
\- Email sign-offs: There is an art to this. I am of the theory **"the longer your official sign off is, the bigger of a dickhead you are"**. They have their uses, but an overlong one is like shoving your degree in people's faces even without them asking.  
-UAT and Staging links: User acceptance testing and a hyperlink to show and check how something might look like when it's released to consumers. In Kyu and Ryeong's case, it would be an app created for Kia. Kind of like beta testing, but internal.  
\- Persona non grata notice: This is very, very, very rarely served to terminating employees. I've only heard of one case so far and it is from the UK.  
-Fixed assets: Things like your work laptop, desktop monitor, external hard disk, graphic tablet and stylus, desk phone etc that was provided to you by the agency.  
\- PPMs, again: Usually agencies and client brands will do at least 2 rounds of pre-production meetings before a major shoot. Before the second and final round with clients, the agency has to internally align with the production house and director on what will be presented.  
\- "Experiential design": The creative industry is very fond of mashing previously unrelated words together to describe the different forms of advertising that can take place in newfangled mediums...  
Think of this as perhaps "Jung is an expert in looking at a space and crafting something that a consumer can interact with both physically and digitally". Hence, ideas man.  
\- Number of suits to an account: Less people means less salaries to pay out. The profit margin (aka $$ the agency gets at the end) is thus high if you have less bodies to pay for. If the low # of suits is able to do good work and grow the business, more bully for the profit margin. More $$$. This is a Very Good Thing.  
\- CRM: Customer Relationship Management. This is marketing strategy that puts customer benefit and customer retention first. A very simplified example would be loyalty programmes like members' discount.


	4. Blue Skies Thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the person whom this fic is written for has spoken.  
I am apparently Cho Kyuhyun.  
/cries with laughter/  
Full disclosure: I SWEAR I WORKED WAY HARDER THAN HIM
> 
> @Sherylyn who asked if I'm a suit or a creative -  
Wenny: Why don't you guess
> 
> I guess I should also say for the record that all characterisations are purely fictional.... please don't be butthurt if I malign your oppar. All in good fun.

From: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

To: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

Re: YoonA for HERA

Hi Heechul - 

Can I borrow YoonA for an activation piece for HERA? 

It’ll take a month at most.

I can chat f2f as well. 

Best

Max. 

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

Re:Re: YoonA for HERA

Helllloooooo Shim, 

Why am I giving you YoonA when you already have Mi all to yourself and your boys? 

\--

From: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

To: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: YoonA for HERA

Because we don’t have Mi all to ourselves.

Leeteuk just told me Mi is being roped into another pitch and doesn’t have any bandwidth for HERA in the next few weeks. 

He’s almost done for HERA now that the shoot is finished, so we won’t really need a writer for post-production on that. It’s just that the clients have some new requirements for the activation roll out of this film. So we need a writer but it can be someone else. 

  
If we can’t have Mi, YoonA is the next best thing. She’s done beauty writing for us in the past.

Best

Max. 

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

Re:Re: YoonA for HERA

Dear Shim,

Your reasoning is sound except for one problem. Your boss and my boss just had a “vigorous discussion” yesterday about resources. Key thing being your clients are too demanding and your AM is too demanding and the creatives have too much work. 

F2F at the water cooler and let’s see how we can sort this out. 

H.

\--

From: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

To: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: YoonA for HERA

Having work means more revenue for the company. 

Can we do it at the focus room in your area?

Max.

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

Re:Re: YoonA for HERA 

Is Siwon still hounding you? He’s at the water cooler (again) right now….

See you in the focus room.

\--

From: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

To: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org>

Re: HERA Activation - Q4 

Jung - 

Do you have 5 minutes at 3? I need to run a resource preference question by you.

Max.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

Re:Re HERA Activation - Q4

Max! Why am I Jung now… 😱😱😱😱 

I put my number into your mobile, remember… you can just KaTalk me.

Yun.

PS. You should be calling me hyung!!

\--

From: Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

To: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org>

Re:Re: HERA Activation - Q4 

Jung - 

Free or not free; answer the question. 

\--

**Changdol (Max)**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

You’re not answering me on KaTalk 😭

What resources do you need to talk about?

**Changdol (Max)**

Who is this?

**You**

😱

Max!

**Changdol (Max)**

Jung? Is that you.

**You**

You should call me hyung 

🤧

**Changdol (Max)**

Jung-ssi, we are within working hours.

I don’t use KaTalk because of privacy issues.

Do you prefer Mi or YoonA?

**You**

😳😳 Uh…. are we playing Preference World Cup? 

Cuz they’re both good looking, I guess? 🤔🤔🤔🤔

**Changdol (Max)**

As your writing partner. 

Focus!

**You**

Oh

Well, I’m okay with both of them. 

YoonA worked with me on Nike Korea before I left, she was only senior copywriter then.

Which account is this for?

**Changdol (Max)**

HERA. Q4 Activation… the public spaces takeover we were talking about the other night.

**You**

Oic…. well then definitely Mi!

He’s the writer on it! 

Why are we swapping him out?

That’s not a good idea 

He knows the brand and he knows the clients and he’s great with both

I’m not fobbing work on him but I definitely prefer his help to navigate the client agenda 

Pulling him out is shooting ourselves in the foot

If we pull in YoonA instead, you’ll have an Art and Copy needing time to familiarise themselves with the brand??

Don’t you pull him out

It doesn’t make sense

You shouldn’t, Max!

**Changdol (Max)**

Excellent.

You feel that strongly about this?

**You**

MAX.

**Changdol (Max)**

Don’t worry, I agree.

I’m just thinking of how to use you to fuck Leeteuk up the ass.

**You**

😳

That sounds uncomfortable for both Teuk-hyung and I.

**Changdol (Max)**

Don’t worry your pretty head about it. 

You’ll have Mi as your writing partner. 

Thanks for sharing your opinion.

**You**

Max? 

....

Max?

Changmin? 

Changminnie fighting! 

May your fucking be successful **💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻**

\--

**Heenim**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Hyung

Changminnie called me pretty

**Heenim**

Yurrobong-yah

Did someone feed you alcohol?

You know you’re a lightweight

**You**

_ [ ↪ Don’t worry your pretty head about it. ] _

Changminnie sent me this 

😮😮😮😮

**Heenim**

Yunho. Well I guess you’re not drunk

Just high off of “Changminnie” huh?

Go away and leave us sad old men to work in peace

**You**

He’s very pretty himself, hyung

**Heenim**

Yeah, just go away

\--

From: Max Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Leeteuk, Park <[ leeteuk.park@sment.org ](mailto:leeteuk.park@sment.org)> ; Heechul, Kim <heechul.kim@sment.org>

CC: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > : Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

Re: Yunho & Zhou Mi for HERA (2019)

Hi all - 

Just want to drop a quick note to so we’re all on the same page re: alignment on resource. There has been quite a few chats and I just want to make sure everyone is caught up.

As per verbally aligned - 

The creative pair for HERA for the rest of the year will be Yunho & Zhou Mi.

Best,

Max. 

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Yunho & Zhou Mi for HERA (2019)

Ouch, Shim. I’m slow clapping here.

Well done.

H.

\-- 

**85Club-room (5)**

\-- Wednesday, XXX XX, 2019 --

**Jungin**

UKNOW we miss you!!

<sticker>

**Shinhyun**

Kekeke

Why are you bothering him?

He’s busy chasing Lions…

<group picture>

**Jungsub**

Maybe he’s forgotten about us already

<sticker>

<sticker>

**Hojoon**

And maybe all of you forgot that it isn’t the weekend yet

Chop chop back to work people

I don’t pay you to text sweet nothings to Yun over KakaoTalk

**Jungsub**

Slave driver

\--

**The Hojoon**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Hyung

**The Hojoon**

Yun, why are you texting me on Whatsapp?

**You**

Someone told me KakaoTalk tracks and saves all your messages in a transcript on a server

**The Hojoon**

Yeah but unless you are a shit person and has prostitution and/or drugs scandals, that won’t matter.

**You**

But still 🙈🙈🙈

Don’t you feel spied on?

**The Hojoon**

Since when do you care so much about privacy?

lol

What’s up?

**You**

Hyung

I know I’ve been super busy and all and basically vanished off the surface of the earth

**The Hojoon**

Annnnnnd since when are you self-aware?

**You**

But

hyung

omg

hyung

**The Hojoon**

Yunho, are you ok?

**You**

wow

I just

I don’t know where to begin

**The Hojoon**

Ok, I don’t think you’ve been fucked over because you’re entirely too calm to be in one of your tirades.

So it just means you have a boner for someone.

Who?

BoA?

**You**

What the hell 

😵 

Why do people keep asking me that!

No! That one time she molested me at an SM office party, it was just like being kissed by my own sister!

**The Hojoon**

I can make a crack about how that is the premise for some kind of porn

But I shan’t insult Jihye

**You**

HYUNG WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU

🤢

🤢

🤢

**The Hojoon**

I don’t know, u tell me, uknow

You’re the one who texted and started blathering about nothing.

Can’t blame me for guessing?

**You**

Your mind is a very scary place

hyung

my suit is terrifying

**The Hojoon**

Isn’t your suit BoA.

**You**

For the last time, nooooooooooo

🙄

BoA is his boss

He is BoA’s lead minion

A very very good minion

She said she will kill me if I do anything to him

**The Hojoon**

“his” huh

Is college-and-experimental Yunho back in the game?

And what does BoA think you will do? Eat the poor guy?

“Lead minion” makes me think of those things…. Small and short and yellow. 

**You**

Yeah he is not small 

Not small at all 😜

**The Hojoon**

Why, Mister Jung, I’m scandalised.

**You**

No

I just

He’s taller than me, hyung 😳

**The Hojoon **

Ahhhhhhhhh

Isn’t that one of college-and-experimental Yunho’s kinks?

**You**

It’s not a kink, jesus 🙄

I just like to look at my dates in the eye

**The Hojoon**

Well, congratulations on getting eye candy.

Anyone I know?

**You**

He’s more than eye candy.

He’s *good*, hyung

**The Hojoon**

Now that I recall… College-and-experimental Yunho did have a competence kink too.

**You**

He’s so smart

And organised

And so smart

And he knows everything

He’s not afraid of pushing the envelope

**The Hojoon**

It’s very good that you are art-based, Yun.

“Smart” and “smart” and “knows everything” all mean the same thing.

**You**

And he’s so calm

And patient

He’s so good with people, hyung

I bounce my ideas off of him and he always knows what to say

He’s terrifying

**The Hojoon**

And does this paragon of virtue have a name?

**You**

Max Shim

He’s amazing

\--

**Heechul**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Tell me about Max Shim.

**Heechul**

Sharp little bugger too clever for his own good.

And hello to you too, Hojoon.

**You**

Hi, hyung.

What else about him?

**Heechul**

Did our Yunho word-vomit all over you about him too?

**You**

I guess you can call it that, yes.

So Shim’s bad news?

**Heechul**

I won’t say bad news. He’s a good egg.

Just… well, the other day his AM was out with Yunho for a client presentation, so he was the one reviewing WIP creative work with the junior creative team before his AM could give input. 

It ended in tears.

**You**

This Shim cried?

**Heechul**

Creatives’ tears. I believe the words “rigid, anal-retentive control freak of a bastard who wouldn’t know creativity even if it punches him in the dick” were said.

**You**

Yun says this Shim is very good at answering him when he’s on one of his creative benders

**Heechul**

Yeah I won’t call it that

Max isn’t stupid. He knows Yunho is one of BoA’s best friends.

And also that senior management very personally hired Yun away from you.

**You**

Hmm

**Heechul**

Why?

**You**

It sounds like Yun is quite over his head

**Heechul**

More like over heels

But Hojoon

Yun’s a big boy

He can take care of himself

**You**

Yes, I know.

It’s just.

**Heechul**

Like a trainwreck… Yes. 

**You**

Thanks, hyung. Keep me updated if… anything. 

\--

From: Minsesok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: WOOYOUNGMI - timeline

Hi boss,

The people at WYM refuse to stop squeezing us for a timeline regarding the Seoul Fashion Week campaign.

Can I pop by in a bit to present my draft to you before I share with them?

Thank you,

Minseok.

MINSEOK **KIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _ACCOUNT MANAGER_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Minsesok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re WOOYOUNGMI - timeline

Why are they pressing you for a timeline when the decision in the previous meeting was to let the PR agency lead this? 

Let PR do the timeline then.

Yes - show me. 

If they want you to project manage this, they can bloody well pay me for your hours.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org>  
To: Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> ; Siwon, Choi <siwon.choi@sment.org>

Fw:Fw:Re: Brainstorm for wooyoungmi’s social strategy

Hi Siwon,

I know it’s been a few weeks but things on WYM have been crazy. We have a slight chance for a small breather now so Max just forwarded this to me.

Let’s sit down for an hour this afternoon to have a jamming session on this? 

And while we’re at it, I want to pick your brain a little for Zombie Strike. I have an idea but am not sure how feasible it is for social and programmatic. Do I talk to you for programmatic? Or are you only on all things social? 

**@max.shim** Can I get your Mark’s help to get us three a meeting room and an invite?

Thanks,

Yun.

YUNHO **JUNG** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _CREATIVE DIRECTOR & HEAD OF EXPERIENTIAL DESIGN_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: yunho.jung[ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) IG: @UKYH___

\--

From: Mark, Lee <[ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; Siwon, Choi < [ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org)> 

Re: [Calendar Invite] WYM social brainstorm

Room: Rising Sun

[Accept][Maybe][Decline] 

\--

**Q **

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Q**

Chwang, lunch?

**You**

Can’t, sorry

Busy 

**Q**

bro

busy people have to eat lunch too

**You**

I’m stuck in a room with Jung Yunho and Choi Siwon. 

**Q**

that sounds… like a special kind of hell

**You**

Tell me about it

Jung looks five seconds away from decking CSW.

**Q**

lol

why

Did CSW put hands on his Changminnie?

**You**

Fuck off and stop wanking to the thought of CSW sexually harassing me 

**Q**

bro I didn't know you feel that way about me

U think about my dick that much huh

**You**

I swear I will step out of this meeting and come fucking rip your head off.

**Q**

hey then at least I've gotten you out of hell

**You**

Ok fine Cho

Touché. 

**Q**

No touching please 

You're allergic 

**You**

I will invent a reason for you to join this godforsaken session. We’re talking about doing a site take over with a bespoke members experience, you know. 

Don’t think you are safe!

**Q**

haha fuck no 

no brief no talk

**You**

I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.

**Q**

Chwang

no wait

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**Q**

Bro PICK UP I KNOW YOU ARE STARING AT MY CALLS AND LAUGHING

DICKCHWANG NO

I NEED MY LUNCH TIME. 

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**Q**

oh fuck you very much Shim Changmin 

how dare you send Uknow to invite me in person!!!!!

how the fuck am I supposed to reject and say I need lunch!!!!!!!!

HE’LL KILL ME

**You**

See you in five~

-

From: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Siwon, Choi < [ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org)> ; Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuhyun.cho@sment.org>

Re:Fw:Fw:Re: Brainstorm for wooyoungmi’s social strategy

Hi guys,

That was an amazing session! **@kyuhyun.cho** Kyu, I feel so lucky that we get to jam together again! Can you discuss with Ryeowook and Victoria on feasibility? 

If you need to pull another Art in for the working team, Hyukjae was telling me he fancies a challenge. 

Thanks!!

Yun.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuhyun.cho@sment.org>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Siwon, Choi < [ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org)> 

Re:Fw:Fw:Re: Brainstorm for wooyoungmi’s social strategy

Hi Uknow-hyung,

Yeah, just like old times!!

I’ll speak to Vic and the team. 

Thank you,

Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun Cho | Lead Architect | SM Enterprises Ltd

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> 

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org) >; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; Siwon, Choi < [ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org)> 

CC: Minseok, Kim <minseok.kim@sment.org>

Re:Fw:Fw:Re: Brainstorm for wooyoungmi’s social strategy

Team - 

_ \+ Minseok for FYI _

It’s all well and good to come up with a counter-proposal for WYM, but please share a fleshed-out version with me by latest Wednesday. Before noon, thanks.

Otherwise, we still have to present the on-brief creative idea to the clients on Thursday. 

Max.

\--

From: Simon, Choi <siwon.choi@[ sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> 

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org) >; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> ; Max, Shim <max.shim@sment.org>

Re:Fw:Fw:Re: Brainstorm for wooyoungmi’s social strategy

Hey Uknow and Kyu,

Let me know if you need any help?

Warmest regards,

Siwon. 

**SIWON CHOI** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

_ Bringing you effective advertising campaigns since 1989 _

**HEAD OF CONTENT AND ACTIVATION**

_ Winner of Muse Creative Awards 2019, Social Media (Silver), Strategic Program (Rose Gold) _

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: siwon.choi[ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> 

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org) >; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; Siwon, Choi < [ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org)> 

CC: Minseok, Kim <minseok.kim@sment.org>

Re:Fw:Fw:Re: Brainstorm for wooyoungmi’s social strategy

Siwon - 

Please keep Minseok on copy for all mails regarding WYM. He is leading this from my end. 

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> 

Re: ur reply to CSW 

Shit, Chwang. Savage much?

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok@sment.org ](mailto:minseok@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: The alternative WYM creative idea

Hi boss,

Can I check if the team has given you any updates? It’s Wednesday afternoon but I’m still getting radio silence. 

Let me know? I don’t want to chase them if Victoria or Kyuhyun has already spoken to you.

Thank you,

Minseok.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok@sment.org ](mailto:minseok@sment.org)>

Re:Re: The alternative WYM creative idea

MS - 

You have my blessings to set the hounds on them.

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok@sment.org ](mailto:minseok@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org) >; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; Siwon, Choi < [ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org) > ; Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org> ; Victoria, Song < [ victoria.song@sment.org ](mailto:victoria.song@sment.org)>

CC: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> 

Re: Alternative WYM creative idea - URGENT PLEASE SEND

Hi teammates,

Please send this over to us ASAP in the next thirty minutes. 

Max and I will have to review this before presentation tomorrow. He is currently in a meeting - so please get this in my inbox by latest 3pm so I can catch him and give all of you consolidated comments before the day ends.

Otherwise, we will not present this tomorrow.

Thank you,

Minseok. 

\--

**🎮 Kyuline**

_ Q, Ryeong, The Shining Minho, Minseokie, Mi, Victoria Song SMEnt, You _

> 🔒Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Minseokie**

Guys…

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

2 minutes. I’m on it.

**The Shining Minho**

LOL 

Y E S 

Does someone else owe Minseok things?

**Minseokie**

You know, maybe I should enforce you calling me hyung

**The Shining Minho**

Yes hyung, shutting up now hyung

**Minseokie**

GUYS…

**Ryeong**

Sorry, Minseokie, Uknow-hyung and I are cleaning up Water-cooler Sleaze’s mess

give us a while

**Minseokie**

?

Who is Watercooler Sleaze??

Max is still in a meeting with the Bigs, but I am huddled outside their meeting room with my laptop ready. C’mon guys!

**Mi**

Siwon

Am I right or am I right

**Q**

Ding dong deng! 

Give The Mi a Lion!

right you are right indeedy 

**Ryeong**

Kyu, shut the fuck up and stop playing around! 

You keep making notifications ping on my laptop and Uknow-hyung is totally reading them! 

He’s using my laptop now to edit the slides! 

**Q**

omg 

shut down Whatsapp Desktop you fool!!

**Minseokie**

Hi, Uknow-hyung!

Minseok here. 

I think you can read this?

Off of Ryeowook’s laptop?

Can you guys be done by 3:30pm?

Max’s meeting is still going on.

But it should end by then.

**Ryeong**

I cannot believe you people

**@Minseokie** Hyung says yes he’s read and received your messages, and yes, thank you for the extra time.

**Q**

Chill Little Min omg

Did you deliberately type like that so he can read them on the text previews

srsly

**Victoria Song SMent**

Can someone please go murder Watercooler Sleaze

Who died and made him PM?? Or Tech?

The mechanics of the O2O activation from store to site is nothing like the actual tech

Does he even know how AR works?

Is he proposing we build something new from scratch for the brand?????

How the hell am I supposed to cost for this? 

**Q**

Vic you chill too

Rmbbbbb he got hired because he kept taking his shirt off in his IG videos 

and that’s why they all have really high views and engagement rate?

and also bc i heard his dad is golfing buddies with The SM

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

asdfgjhkljklFHLKGJHLHLKJGLHJKGHLJKG

**The Shining Minho**

Is Siwon really that shit?

I did the SK Telco social shoot with him and he was okay! A little all over the place but… still decent

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

HE CAN SUCK MY DICK

**Minseokie**

gUYs it’s 3:47PMMMMMM

**Ryeong**

Wait

**You**

Minseok and I are coming over.

\--

**@changmin88**

> <Two grinning men clutching two large foaming tankards of beer in an _izakaya_>
> 
> **changmin88** I owed The Q a beer after whipping him all week. Anyway, it’s Friday. Flee home and embrace your families, everyone. #kyuline 
> 
> Liked by **yeonh0109.L ** and **15 others **
> 
> _ View all 7 comments _
> 
> **boaconstrictor** Lol “flee home” indeed. I wonder who just sent me the financial quarter recon? Tch tch. It’s Saturday!
> 
> **flamingcharismaMH** HELLO where was I in this gathering!! 
> 
> **gyucode88** U OWE ME MORE THAN A BEER BITCH

\--

**@UKYH__ has requested to follow you.**

**\--**

**Jung Yunho SMEnt**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**Jung Yunho SMEnt**

Changmin 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

Changminnie

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**Jung Yunho SMent**

Changdol

Changminnnnnnn 

**You**

It’s Sunday and I am not answering your texts no matter what ridiculous names you give me off of my name which I explicitly asked you not to use is being utilised by you. 

**Jung Yunho SMEnt**

That is a very long sentence, Changminnie

_ You changed the contact’s name. _

**You**

What did I just say?

**Jung**

Well, we’re outside of working hours

That’s why I’m calling you Changminnie!

😌😌😌😌

You said I could! It’s Sunday

**You**

Why are you texting me, Jung?

**Jung**

You really should call me hyung…

**You**

What do you want?

**Jung**

Sorry - am I really bothering you? 

I can wait for Monday then.

Sorry again, I just wanted to bounce something off. 

_ You changed the contact’s name. _

**You**

I should apologise. That was quite rude, wasn’t it.

I was cleaning. Didn’t want to keep texting. 

**Jung Yunho**

Ah I see!!

it’s ok! 😆

Like you said it’s Sunday.

There is an experiential flash mob thing I’ve been invited to

It’s happening this evening 

Do you want to join? 🤗

Will be fun!!

**You **

A flash mob?

**Jung Yunho **

Performing Michael Jackson songs? It’s happening in front of T.um. 

PR for the Michael Jackson x mobile AR exhibition that’s opening on Wednesday night!

**You**

That’s a controversial figure.

**Jung Yunho **

He may or may not have said a million lies, but his dancing has never lied. 

Dance never lies!!!

😅👏🏻🙌🏻

I was thinking it might be good inspiration for WYM!

**You**

Shouldn’t you ask Mi along then?

_ [ Delete for everyone ] _

_ You changed the contact’s name. _

**Jung **

Sorry Changminnie, didn’t catch that message…. did you delete it by mistake?

😮

**You**

It was a typo. Don’t worry about it.

What time does it start?

**Jung **

Awesome pawsome! 😎

Half past five in the evening!

Right in front of T Tower.

Uljiro

**You**

I know where T tower is. See you. 

\--

**@UKYH__**

> <A flashmob in bomber jackets and sequined gloves in front of T Tower in monochromatic black-and-white>
> 
> **UKYH__ **Long live the King. #MJ #flashmob #icymi #Tum #Ttower #MichaelJackson #ADecadeGoneButNotForgotten #billiejean #workfriends #sundayworkdate #agency #creativelife #officeantics
> 
> Liked by **silver.hyukJ** and ** 1,163 others**
> 
> _ View all 119 comments _
> 
> **boaconstrictor** Work…. Date…? WHO. Zhou Mi????
> 
> **s.hojoon** you move too fast 
> 
> **kai.23** Hi Uknow! I really admire your work and will like to ask if...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Demystifying the jargon:**
> 
> **"Borrowing" creative resources**: When an account has too much work and too little creatives folks, one can tryyy and ask CS/Traffic/PMs if they can borrow creative people from other accounts/brands.  
**Beauty copywriting**: One of the hardest types of copywriting in terms of ad accounts. Beauty copywriters do not grow on trees.  
**Focus rooms**: Can also be known as "quiet" rooms or "breakout rooms". A teeny room for you to "focus"/be "quiet" in etc. Most ad agencies have an open concept/bull pen floor plan, hence the need for these.  
**The Zhou Mi incident**: In case it's not clear, Shim used Jung's opinion to twist Leeteuk's arm into ceding ZM over to his accounts for the rest of the year. He sent an email out to state this in black-and-white and oh-so-casually also CCed his boss so LT will not be able to wriggle out. In summary it is a Sly Move in Office Politics and that is why Heechul wrote that side email to him. Also because HC is suitably impressed since he had went up against LT in the previous chapter on this, and lost.  
**KakaoTalk vs Whatsapp**: Please ref. the recent Burning Sun scandals, Gu Hye Sun v. Ahn Jae Hyun etc etc.  
**"pay me for your hours"**: Shim means that if the clients want Minseok to put more time into the project, they need to pay the agency more since that was not the original agreement.  
**Email sign-offs, again**: Occasionally in order to be a paggro dickhead, I have used unnecessarily formal language and sign-offs to signal that I was Not Very Happy with a particular person. That... is very likely what Jung did in this chapter.  
**"brief"**: A job brief or job requisition form.  
**"no brief no talk"**: This is a meme on its own in the ad industry. The degree to which this is reinforced also depends on how fond the creative department (aaaaaand Traffic/CS/PMs) is of **you**. If they hate you, then "no brief no talk". If you are tolerated, you get to blather at them about the new task then say "will follow up with paperwork" and fling them electronic copies of official job briefs after the chat.  
**O2O**: Offline-to-online.  
**AR**: Augmented Reality. Think Pokemon Go or Harry Potter Wizards Unite.  
**"financial quarter recon"**: Boring $$$ shit involving expenses (ex. fee and budget) from the previous quarter (either Jan-Mar, Apr-Jun, etc you get my drift).
> 
> **Till next time~**


	5. Deep Dive Review

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say a heartfelt and fervent thank you to everyone who gave kudos and comments. This isn't an easy fic to follow (and it's not meant to be) and I honestly thought there'll be a grand total of one reader. Mouldsee. 
> 
> LOL. So thank you for reading, and for sharing your thoughts because I know this industry has crazy complicated jargon and the powerplay subtexts can be too multi-layered and subtle. 
> 
> And I would have thought it's obvious but hell NO I am not a copywriter OOPS.
> 
> PS. EVERYONEEEE this is SnrAcctDir!Shim aggghhhh omg https://www.instagram.com/p/B2ssSujgCm3/?igshid=zda0j4retmh2  
Full credits go to the kind soul who posted it.

From: Minseok, Kim <minseok.kim@sment.org>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

CC: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> 

Re: HERA activation - scamps

Hi Uknow-hyung

I heard from Max that you two discussed revisions to some of the concept scamps for the revised HERA activation idea. Can you please share that with us? I need to slip it into the deck. 

Thank you!

Minseok. 

\--

**Q**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**Q**

u went on a date with Uknow????????

**You**

What?

No

**Q**

uh

bro

u sure?

**You**

Kyuhyun.

Spit it out.

What is it?

**Q**

ok let me phrase this another way

ytd i asked u if u wanted to grab dinner then we can do a Starcraft marathon

u said u were busy

**You**

Yeah?

**Q**

were u with uknow 

That’s why u were busy

**You**

Q, I know you feel we’re joined at the hip, but I didn’t realise we’re married

you sound like a wife questioning her cheating husband.

**Q**

well then to extend the metaphor

are u cheating??

**You**

Bro.

**Q**

omg chill the fuck out of course i don’t care

ok that came out wrong 

ur my brother from another mother of course i care

I just don’t particularly care if u have been bumping dicks with uknow

I JUST WANNA KNOW

**You**

Thank you for that obscene mental image, I really need such things to be mentioned to me during working hours. 

Funnily enough, this wall of incoherent text actually made sense to me.

Your madness is catching

**Q**

SHIM CHWANG

SHIM

SRSLY

ANSWER 

THE 

QUESTION 

FUCKER

**You **

Oh god stop it already with the caps.

Yes, I saw him on Sunday night, but it was for work.

**Q**

r u sure??????

You

Y e s do I need to send a screenshot to you as proof? 

_ [ ↪ I was thinking it might be good inspiration for WYM! ] _

We went to watch a Michael Jackson flashmob at T.um and here, see - I forwarded you his reason for inviting me.

It’s for WORK.

**Q**

who r u and what have u done with my best friend

he refuses to work on sunday unless it’s life or death

he thinks T.um is overrated

he doesn’t even like Michael Jackson much less stopping in the middle of the road to watch people freeze and dance tgt!!!!!!

u r pod people

**You**

Oh fuck’s sake, Kyu, stop it with the drama. 

I went because of WORK.

How do you know about this anyway??

**Q**

R u sure he knows it’s for WORK?

**You**

He was the one who said it’s inspiration for WYM! 

And after the flashmob, he was telling me about this activation he envisions for WYM. 

And then it segued into a new experiential idea for HERA and we had to grab a bite because it was so late!

WE WERE WORKING. 

**Q**

wow a show and then a dinner

classy Shim

I hope you haven’t put out yet.

**You**

Kyuhyun, I really think starting at all that HTML5 and java isn’t healthy for you.

I think you might be experiencing hallucinations. 

**Q**

sure take the piss out of me

but uknow thinks its a date btw

**You**

What?

And really - how do you know about this??

**Q**

he posted on his IG feed AND his IG stories. 

ur IN his IG stories, idiot

he tagged u!!! 

didn’t you see??

**You**

My Instagram account is private, Q. 

I can’t see it when people tag me publicly if they’re not IG friends with me. 

I certainly haven’t added Yunho. 

**Q**

_ [ Picture sent XX:XX AM ] _

here

**You**

This screenshot doesn’t say much.

Is this his IG story? 

Where did I appear?

**Q**

THATS UR SLEEVE IDIOT

**You**

You’re the only person who can recognise me from my sleeve…

**Q**

and look!!!

_ [ Picture sent XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Picture sent XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Picture sent XX:XX AM ] _

**You**

What?

**Q**

that’s his other IG story and his IG feed post

ok ur face doesn’t come out directly

but that’s your sleeve bro. 

and ur bag

AND he tagged it #sundayworkdate!

You

Well you heard the man. “WORK” date. Meaning like work…. But 1-on-1.

**Q**

ur hopeless

**You**

Tbh I prefer this than that cringy phrase he loves 

“jamming sessions”

There’s only so much jam before I feel myself looking for bread.

**Q**

ugh why am i friends with a dumb bimbo like you

\--

**Jung**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**You**

Jung. Where’s my presentation deck?

**Jung**

oh hey Max! 👋🏻

Which deck is this?

**You**

Jung. 

The HERA one?

The one that my AM is biting his nails over?

**Jung**

oh right right 😅😅😅

Sorry, it’s been a crazy morning. Kia had a bit of a crisis so Donghae and Hyukjae pulled me in 

😔😔😔😔😔

**You**

If you don’t send us the scamps in half an hour, you’ll also have a crisis here too.

**Jung**

Sorry! Am on it, I promise 🙏🏻

Ah I just checked my chats

Oops sorry 

Minseokie texted me 

And Mark too!

Tell Minseokie and Mark that hyung won’t break his promise!

**You**

Jung, try to remember that I am not your PA.

And by that I mean, please respond to my team and especially ASAP on time-sensitive matters.

We don’t have the time to have them reach out to you, you to ignore them, and then they have to come to me and wait to escalate to me, then I have to chase you, and only THEN you respond.

**Jung**

Hahahha Max you’re so scary

I bet you’ll be a really good chaser though 🤔😏

Ok ok I’m so sorry

**You**

The scamps, Jung. You have twenty seven minutes and counting. 

\-- 

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) >, Mark, Lee < [ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org)>

Re: creative team

Boys - 

If the creative team(s) owe you things, you are within your rights to chase for things. 

Please don’t be bogged down by the idea of seniority. As long as you have logic on your side, I am on your side. 

Best,

Max.

\--

From: Mark, Lee <[ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

Fw:Re: creative team

Omg Minseok-hyung is Boss referring to me

Hyung

He typed “I am on your side”

I’m going to cry!!!!!

\-- 

From: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

To: Mark, Lee <[ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Fw:Re creative team

I know you’re touched. But don’t waste your tears on this. Else you’ll have plenty to cry about.

I told you, Boss is on our side. And he doesn’t give a flying fuck about hierarchy nonsense. 

\-- 

From: Sunny, Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: HERA Q4 strategy

Hey Max,

Want to ask if there’s room for us to work on a strategy initiative proposal for HERA?

I know they have a couple of projects with your team this Q4, but it all feels very executional and tactical. Is there room for us to push more with their team? 

I have an idea about how we can use partnerships with non-beauty brands in order to increase awareness of HERA even more beyond the base reach of the female millennial beauty brand users. 

Let me know if you have time today for me to drop by your desk.

Warmest regards,

Sunny Lee. 

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Sunny, Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy

Hi Sunny - 

I’m game to chat, but let’s pull Yunho into this. Not sure if you are aware but Soyoung and Youngmin have aligned with BoA; all the regional accounts are c/o Yunho.

Best,

Max. 

\--

  
From: Sunny, Lee < [ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy

UGH. Do we have to, really?

Come on, it can be a suit and planner thing for now.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Sunny, Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy

Sunny - 

? 

He does have some pretty good ideas.

Best,

Max.

\--

From: Sunny, Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy

Yeah but he is also a self-absorbed flighty creative dick. 

I did the Shilla pitch with him previously. Before you joined. He is a nightmare.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Sunny, Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy

It’s fine. We’ll make it clear to him it’s FYR for him only. This is more strategy than anything. It’s your playground. 

\--

From: Sunny, Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy

LOL if you are sure. Good luck. 

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Sunny, Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

CC: Minseok, Kim <minseok.kim@sment.org>

Re: [Brainstorm] Hera Q4 initiative

Hi team - 

Can we huddle today afternoon for an hour? Sunny has some thoughts for an value-add initiative she’ll like us to propose to the HERA clients for Q4. We’ve had a pre-chat and there are some things I feel is worth pushing. 

Yunho, if you can join, that’ll be great. This is FYR. Sunny will take this forward.

**@minseok.kim** I know you have the shoot for WYM to oversee but sit in if possible. Will be beneficial. 

Best,

Max. 

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

**@changmin88**

> <Two pairs of hands battling over a pen against a background with different scraps and scribbles of paper>
> 
> **changmin88** When your job makes you feel like a professional babysitter sometimes, all the time… #iNeedABeer
> 
> Liked by **zhou.mi ** and **23 others **
> 
> _ View all 3 comments _
> 
> **zhou.mi **Say it now. Am I not your favourite creative? I’m the only one who doesn’t need you to wipe my ass, right?
> 
> **boaconstrictor** my best babysitter <3 
> 
> **ryeonggu** LOL ok that smaller pair of hands is definitely Sunny’s. Who’s the other?

\--

**85-room (5)**

\-- Thursday, XXX XX, 2019 --

**Jungin**

Uknow uknow uknow

We’re having an 85Club barbecue tomorrow night

Come join us?

**Shinhyun**

We miss you

<sticker>

<sticker>

<sticker>

**Hojoon**

Quit bothering him

He’s busy dating

**You **

HAHAAAA

<sticker>

Guys I’m so sorry

<sticker>

I AM busy… though not dating

<sticker>

Work has been mad

Sorry sorry guys

<sticker>

Can’t make it tomorrow but I’ll buy everyone meat and cola next Saturday

How’s that?

<sticker>

<sticker>

**Hojoon**

Cheapskate

At least make it meat and liquor 

**Jungsub**

Nah 

<sticker>

He’s such a shit drunk that he’ll pass out again and one of us have to foot the bill AGAIN

He did that for the New Year remember

Cola it is

I demand expensive Hoengseong beef!!

**You**

Yes yes fine fine

I’ll buy you all the beef you want, chingu-yah

**Jungsub**

Ok I’m screenshotting this 

<sticker>

<sticker>

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: hera

So I have an idea regarding the value-add...

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re: hera

The answer is no. 

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: hera

You haven’t even heard my suggestion!

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re: hera

The answer is still no. This is Sunny’s show. 

If you can spin whatever you’re thinking into something tangible for Q3’s activation however, be my guest.

\--

**Changdol (Max)**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**You**

It doesn’t work like that! I can’t just swap an idea from one project to another! 😱

It’s not modular like that!

**Changdol (Max) **

You know, Jung, it’s really quite disconcerting that you always text me and you’re in the middle of a conversation that I haven’t been part of.

_ You changed the contact’s name. _

**You**

I’m replying to your email here LOL because I’m away from my computer. 

Am in a Korean Air tissue session ✈️✈️✈️

**Changminnie**

Then pay attention to the tissue session, for fuck’s sake.

I don’t need the lead suit on that team to come screaming at me again

**You**

Screaming? What for? 

**Changminnie **

For your time, what else?

**You **

Huh? But BoA told me you guys are all aligned right?

I’m more than 50% on your accounts right?

Donghae and Hyukjae have a good thing going. I don’t want to interrupt that! 

I’m just here to lend a hand if needed

**Changminnie**

Chill, Jung. It’s not a problem.

**You**

Ok 🙈

If you say so… 

But yeah the ideas aren’t modular like that!

**Changminnie**

Let Sunny go ahead with her proposal. 

There’s a point why she’s driving things this way

It helps us increase OOS

**You**

But that shouldn’t be the case for creativity

Shouldn’t we do our best for the client rather than just do things that make them pay more?

**Changminnie**

This is a value-add, Jung

Look at the big picture.

You really should pay attention to the session.

**You**

Hyukjae and Donghae have things well at hand. 

I’ll rather talk about this

**Changminnie**

Jung.  
It’s rude to not pay attention. 

Didn’t you throw a fit the other day because Zombie Strike were whispering to each other during your presentation of the programmatic strategy? 

What happened to “you can not agree with my idea, but just let me finish my presentation”?

Talk later.

**You**

Ok I’ll swing by your desk

**Changminnie**

I’m out the full day.

Offsite at WYM.

**You**

With Siwon?

**Changminnie**

Yes. It’s for the social cut of WYM’s S/S.

They’re walking today.

**You**

Why’s Minseok not the one with Siwon?

**Changminnie**

Minseok is at the HERA shoot. 

What is wrong with you, Jung?

Pay attention. 

Talk later. 

\--

**Zhou Mi**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**Zhou Mi**

Hey Uknow-hyung!

I’ve emailed you the proposed copy for WYM’s social films.

Have a look?

**You**

Hi Mi, thanks 😊😊

I'll have a look

Are you at WYM? It’s the Seoul Fashion Week thing Minseok told us about right 😮

**Zhou Mi**

Yes it is.

I’m not there though. I think Siwon only asked for a senior suit… Max went.

Siwon forwarded me some of the raw videos.

Didn’t he sent it to you too?

Hold on, I’ll forward them. 

_ [ Video sent XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Video sent XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Video sent XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Video sent XX:XX AM ] _

**You**

I see. Thanks, will have a look. 

Is that all of it?

**Zhou Mi**

I think there will be more. Max and Siwon are still there!

**You**

Okay thanks. 

Please let me know when he shares the full set then you and I can sit down and think about storyboarding.

It isn’t efficient to be working on the videos one by one like this. 

**Zhou Mi**

Ah ok no worries! Will let them know!

**You**

Thanks. 

\--

**Changmin**

online 

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**You**

Hey Max

Is something wrong with Uknow-hyung?

**Changmin**

Hi Mi

I have no idea.

Why?

**You**

He sounds mad

**Changmin**

Are you with him?

**You**

No, I’m at my desk.

I think he’s still in the Korean Air session because HJ and DH’s desks are still empty too

But sounds like something is wrong?

**Changmin**

I see.

I have no idea.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; < [ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org) > ; Heechul, Kim < [ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)> ; Siwon, Choi <siwon.choi@sment.org>

CC: Mi, Zhou <[ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) >; Donghae, Lee < [ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org) > ; Hyukjae, Lee < [ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)> ; Victoria, Song <victoria.song@sment.org>

Re: Creatives’ presence for creative deliverables 

Hi everyone, 

Want to drop a quick note about enforcing mandatory creative presence to ensure the quality of creative deliverables. 

Can I please seek the help of Creative Services and Account Management to ensure that at least **one** creative, and ideally a creative pair is present at all client or production events that result in the production of creative assets? 

I understand that previously and currently, for certain activities such as guerrilla social shoots, creatives are not involved until post production. 

However, this is to my distress quite detrimental to the creative process - we cannot work out an optimal storyboard and flow if we are only given raw footage thereafter to work with. 

To use an analogy, that’s like sourcing all sorts for crazy materials for a barn. Maybe rotting wood. Then expecting us to build the best damned sturdy barn possible. 

In order to help us produce the best creative work per our vision for the clients, please help us by making sure we are involved from the get go. This will make it easier for all of us to help in our role as brand stewards for particular brands and keep to a consistent tonality for each individual client. 

Thank you,

Yun.

YUNHO **JUNG** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _CREATIVE DIRECTOR & HEAD OF EXPERIENTIAL DESIGN_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: yunho.jung[ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) IG: @UKYH___

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Fw:Re: Creatives’ presence for creative deliverables 

Uknow Yurrobong, what's with the hissy fit??? Did Siwon piss you off??

\--

From: Mi, Zhou <[ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)> 

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org) > ; Ryeowook, Kim < [ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)> ; Minho, Choi <minho.choi@sment.org>

Fw:Re: Creatives’ presence for creative deliverables 

Omg guys look 

I think I accidentally did something >______<;;;;

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Mi, Zhou <[ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org) > ; Ryeowook, Kim < [ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)> ; Minho, Choi <minho.choi@sment.org>

Re:Fw:Re: Creatives’ presence for creative deliverables 

WHOA

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org) > ; Mi, Zhou < [ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)> ; Minho, Choi <minho.choi@sment.org>

Re:Fw:Re: Creatives’ presence for creative deliverables

He's on the warpath. 

Mi, what did you do!

\--

**🎮 Kyuline**

_ Q, Ryeong, The Shining Minho, Minseokie, Mi, Victoria Song SMEnt, You _

> 🔒Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

What happened!!

**Ryeong**

Are you talking about what I think you're talking about

**Q**

Of course she is 

**Minseokie**

What? 

What happened? 

**The Shining Minho**

Oh wait - Minseok you weren't in the original email thread?

**Minseokie**

What email thread?

**Ryeong**

Wait I'll forward 

**Q**

Mi what did you do!!

**Mi**

I dunno!!!

I pissed him off somehow but it was by accident and I still don't know what I did precisely! 

**Minseokie**

Omg I just read it

Uknow hyung is pissed

**Victoria**

No, but that email is addressed to Max, Siwon and Heechul

Not Mi

He’s not ranting at you

**Q**

!!

Shim Chwang

Bro

What did you guys do

**You**

?

I didn't do anything.

Sorry, it’s a madhouse at Seoul Fashion Week - I haven’t really caught up to my emails

**Q**

I've never heard Uknow sound so mad before

Ok no that's not really true

I have

But he used to just let it rip and tear people a new asshole verbally

He doesnt do it over email 

**You**

I really have no idea

**Mi**

I think I must have done it somehow

It was when I texted him the copy and the raws from WYM s/s

He went from usual uknow to like ragemonster Yunho

**You**

Oh?

**Q**

Oh wait

Chwang

so

ur at that right? with siwon?

**You**

Yes.

**Q**

Alone?

Two of you I mean. Alone?

**You**

What are you driving at

**Ryeong**

OH

**The Shining Minho**

Oh…

**Minseokie**

Oh?

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

The three of you are like the three stooges 

\--

**Q**

online 

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Q**

Chwang

**You**

Kyuhyun, don’t start.

**Q**

Changmin.

I know you’re not stupid. 

And the Chwang I know definitely has caught up to his emails because he physically can’t allow any more than 3 to go unread at any one time. 

So.

**You**

I’m impressed.

You’re even typing with proper grammar and punctuation.

**Q**

bro 

mate

don’t play stupid

**You**

Look, Kyuhyun, enough. It’s all about work. If he wants to be fucking petty and personal about it, sure, by all means. But I’m not going to fucking sink to his level.

If he has a fucking problem with me **working**, he can fucking talk to me about it.

Rather than send passive aggressive emails and then expect what? People to go bow and scrape at him? He may be Sooman’s golden boy and magical creative god, but he sure as fuck isn’t my god.

My patience with him is running fucking thin. So what if he’s a good hard worker with admittedly good craft? He’s a fucking diva.

You were right. 

Weekend texts, midnight calls, sudden idea changes.

Fine. Those I can be fucking objective about. **It’s just work.**

But if I can do that with him, then I can also fucking get over my personal dislike of Siwon to fucking push my team to do the best damn social campaign WYM has ever seen so they will fucking INCREASE MY BUSINESS AND MY BUDGET FOR 2020. 

And no one can fucking fault me for it because this is precisely what my boss has tasked me to do

If Jung Yunho wants to fuck with business for the sake of a petty egoistical non-existent pissing contest then by all fucking means he can hunt for contestants, but I will not be fucking one of them.

And if he wants to conduct such a fucking stupid contest and feels like taunting me into it then he can fucking well say it to my face!

**Q**

uh Chwang……………… ok you were really pent up

ok first

We’re drinking tonight.

It’s five. I’ll leave at five thirty so you do that too. I know it’s not quite Fuck Off Friday but i think you really really need it.

second

I don’t think he wants a pissing contest with u

maybe another kind of contest

wet t-shirt maybe?

**You**

Fine. You’re buying me expensive alcohol. 

I want Japanese whisky. And fugu sashimi. 

One more thing

stop it with the insinuations that Jung Yunho apparently feels whatever the fuck for me.

News flash. He doesn’t.

And I am not interested.

**Q**

um

**You**

Anyone who’s interested would fucking say it to my face.

Rather than do fucking idiotic weird shit

We are not in fucking middle school.

**Q**

ok breathe Chwang

breathe

**You**

I’m not interested in someone who’s like “omg passion passion passion omg let’s do this omg let’s jam omg omg omg I HAVE AN IDEA MORE PASSION PASSION”

You know how fucking tiring that is?

I’m so fucking exhausted that it’s not even fucking funny

**Q**

Chwang if I had a dollar every time you typed “fuck” in the last ten minutes

**You**

JUNG YUNHO CAN FUCK OFF

**Q**

um

yes

ok 

**You**

HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

**Q**

The Shim Chwang doth protest too much methinks but ok

Japanese whisky

yes 

ok you know what let’s not even meet at five thirty. 

I’m calling a cab now. You’re at Seoul Fashion Week, right? I’ll ask the driver to head over there to pick you up

**You**

I WANT FUCKING FUGU SASHIMI

**Q**

ok I’m calling Geumsu Bokkuk Daechi for a reservation

**You**

NO 

I WANT

FUCKING FUGU

SASHIMI

**Q**

fine ok yes fine I’ll call Kojima instead

**You**

I ALSO WANT TO FUCKING KILL SIWON

AND JUNG YUNHO

BOTH OF THEM

ALL OF THEM

**Q**

i knew this would happen

ok since siwon is the one physically in front of you

do NOT punch him in the face or hit him anywhere

maybe look to the side if you can't stand looking at him

Do NOT do anything rash. Remember.... Watercooler Sleaze's dad is golfing buddies with the SM

Career Limiting Move!!

You

HE WONT STOP TOUCHING ME

Q

yeah no

I am in the cab and on my way. 

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Demystifying the jargon**
> 
> **Scamps**: Fancy work for sketches or mockups. Typically agencies use this to get client brands' buy-in to concepts before actual time-consuming work like shooting/filming/photographing things happen.  
**HTML5 and Java:** Code things because Kyu is a dev.  
**"strategy" vs "executional"**: I don't want to go into a long and prolly boring rant so suffice it to say that strategy is normally a lot more upstream and cerebral compared to executional work which can be like..... flyers. brochures. pull up banners?  
**"c/o Yunho"**: "care of Yunho", so basically all Regional roads lead to <s>Rome</s> the Yun and he is the big Creative boss.  
**"suit and planner thing"**: I'm not ashamed to say we do this a lot in RL. Sometimes creative folks can get too caught up in making things beautiful and all................ and you're like mate we're proposing this b/c more $$.  
**FYR**: For your reference.  
**tissue session**: A working session or a brainstorm session. Creative work presented is usually WIP and for more open discussion. They can involve client brands. In this case it definitely did, hence why Jung should be paying attention since he's the senior leading Creative.  
**OOS**: Out Of Scope. I can't remember if I explained this before. But OOS = more $$$ from the client brand = more revenue = is part of a senior suit's KPI = better performance review for Shim.  
**raw videos:** Unedited videos fresh off the cam.  
**creative presence at shoots/things that produce creative work**: To be fair to Jung, there is reason in his request to have creative folks at such matters so that they can do their job. An actual more apt analogy will be giving a cook random ingredients picked by someone who doesn't even know if they are fresh, and then asking them to make the best dish ever. But he is definitely also being a paggro dick.  
**Kojima**: okay the last time I was at Kojima was like years ago so I don't know if they do fugu sashimi now. ARTISTIC LICENCEEEEE  
**Career Limiting Move**: Self explanatory. Although the ad industry can be a walking meme for nepotism too hence... don't do overt shit. It is CLM.   
**Kyuhyun**: is a Very Good Friend. The Bestest Friend Ever. 
> 
>   
**Things are heating up and not in a good way. Till next time!**


	6. Hard Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if anyone is familiar with P&P... let's just say we're at Hunsford
> 
> and if you don't hear from me, prolly Mouldsee killed me after reading this
> 
> also Antares wins <s>nothing but the satisfaction of being Right</s> ding ding ding!

From: Sunny Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org> ; Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

CC: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

Re: HERA Q4 strategy proposal

Hey guys, 

I’ve updated the Google slides. The connections framework has been streamlined. Thanks Minseok for pulling this together. 

Thank you,

Sunny Lee. 

\-- 

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Sunny Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org) > ; Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

CC: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy proposal

Hi Sunny! 

Can I pop over? Want to ask something about the offline-to-online micro-conversions. 

I have some scamps and also did up a skin of the tracker… It’s in-situ to KakaoTalk since we didn’t really discuss if we want it to be app or site. 

Thanks,

Yun. 

\--

From: Sunny Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org> ; Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

CC: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy proposal

Hi Yunho, 

I’ll come over! I’m midway to your area anyway, was talking to UX.

I don’t think we need to show the execution so much though, it might confuse the clients. I want their buy-in to the strategy first because HERA’s not quite good at letting go of ATL. 

Thank you, 

Sunny Lee.

\-- 

From: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

To: Sunny Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org) >; Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org> ; Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy proposal

Hi Sunny and Uknow-hyung,

The junior clients have managed to rope in the Head of Sales in addition to the marketing director’s presence for the HERA final online review this evening. Do you two want to bring this up today then…?

Let me know so I check if they can stay on an hour after the online review ends? Unfortunately, Max can’t attend. Sunny can join us after the review is over. 

Thanks!

Minseok. 

MINSEOK **KIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _ACCOUNT MANAGER_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; Sunny Lee < [ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org) > ; Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: HERA Q4 strategy proposal

Fine with me! Thanks for arranging, Minseokie 😊😊😊

\--

From: Sunny Lee <[ sunny.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sunny.lee@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <yunho.jung@sment.org> ; Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

Re: HERA Q4 strategy proposal

Will be more comfortable if Max were there, but happy to go with the majority. 

\--

**Boss**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Boss, is it ok if Sunny presents the strategy initiative at the HERA final online today?

**Boss**

? Since when do planners join post production meetings?

**You**

Oh no no, because the Head of Sales and the marketing director are both attending the final online today, I was thinking maybe she can come after online ends and hijack them

**Boss**

I can’t attend this evening, though. 

BoA is meeting The Shilla people for a potential new project and she’s requested me to join.

**You**

Okay! 

**Boss**

Hold on.

Sunny updated the deck already?

**You**

Yes. She only made tweaks so it’s still largely the same to what we discussed last week

**Boss**

I’ll go look at it now. Wait. 

**You**

Okay!

**Boss**

K it looks fine. I think you and she can go ahead.

**You**

Uknow-hyung will be there too, since it’s him and I for the final online beforehand

**Boss**

Ah.

You’re good with this arrangement?

**You**

Yeah!

Then Sunny will join us after we wrap final…. Should be quick since all the senior stakeholders are there.

**Boss**

LOL

Minseok, are you gunning for final approval on the spot?

**You**

Of course.

It has to be final approval on the spot! 

The media submission deadline is tonight - 2359hours!!

Anyway, Uknow-hyung will be there. She likes him.

It’s gonna be smooth!

**Boss**

LOL.

Ambitious.

I like it.

Oh well. Text me when you get it.

**You**

Yep, okay boss!

\--

**@UKYH__**

> <Blue skies over Seoul’s cityscape of buildings>
> 
> **UKYH__ **Sometimes we need to look up and away from the minute details to truly understand the big picture #themostharmfulbug #istheHALFHEARTEDbug #creativeintegrity #agency #creativelife #officeantics
> 
> Liked by **s.hojoon** and ** 1,462 others**
> 
> _ View all 97 comments _
> 
> **s.hojoon** sometimes I pity the people who work w/ you. then i remember I was one of them. 
> 
> **85jungin** lol what crazy idea are you thinking now? MEAT AND COLA PLS RMB
> 
> **silver.hyukJ** so cool, our Uknow hyung

\--

**Sunny Lee (SMEnt)**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Sunny Lee (SMEnt)**

Max, where the hell are you?

Come put your Creative Dickhead on a leash please

He is crazy

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**Sunny Lee (SMEnt)**

I’m not joking, Max, he’s crazy

I was talking through the value-add and he’s gone in a different fucking direction altogether

Max

He’s not presenting what we agreed on for the slides, Max.

Oh my fucking sweet baby Jesus, he just spouted out some new experiential idea and he’s sketching shit on the spot

And the clients love it because now it’s become an extension of something you guys are apparently doing already?

MAX

Pick up!

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**Sunny Lee (SMEnt)**

Seriously, he just cut me off when I tried to position this as an add-on service and said we’ll do our best to ensure HERA is the #1 beauty brand for Q3 and Q4 and beyond

What the hell???

Put him back on the leash!

I told you it would be stupid to bring creatives in at this stage!!

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**Sunny Lee (SMEnt)**

You need to be here

Minseok looks like he’s going to cry. 

_ \--- _

**BoA Constrictor**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**BoA Constrictor**

Jung Yunho, what did you do? I’m at a work dinner with Max and he just looked at his phone and said your name and turned into stone.

And now he’s excused himself to the gents’.

We are talking potential new business. He never does this!!

**You**

sorry boa give me a while

**BoA Constrictor**

That’s not filling me with a lot of confidence…

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**You**

Sorry I messed up a bit but got it settled

**BoA Constrictor**

Max just came to me and whispered he’s heading back to the agency!

What did you do! 

**You**

Oh sorry 

can you detain him

there’s actually no need for him to do that

it’s all settled

**BoA Constrictor**

Where are you?

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**You**

I’m with Minseokie and Sunny at HERA HQ

Things are settled 

It was a bit of a misunderstanding

Can you detain him

**BoA Constrictor**

You do realise you are asking me to not trust my 2nd i/c, who has a track record of being extremely competent at his job? 

And you are also asking me to actively undermine him.

**You**

wait 

plz go to the ladies i’ll call you 

tell him to wait for you first he can’t leave a work function if ur at ladies

_ [ Voice call XX:XX AM ] _

**BoA Constrictor**

Oh my God. Jung Yunho. You’re an idiot.

Fine. I told him to sit back down.

**You**

youre a goddess

**BoA Constrictor**

He is not very happy with me. 

**You**

youre his boss

**BoA Constrictor**

No shit, you dick! You owe me!

**You**

I’ve fixed it I promise

\--

**Boss**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Boss**

Call me.

**You**

I am so sorry TT

**Boss**

Minseok. Stop beating yourself up. It is not your fault. Call me.

**You**

We salvaged it, it’s okay, Uknow-hyung said he was too excited so he got a bit brash at the clients, the clients loved it. 

Then he bowed in apology to them. They loved that even more. 

He even apologised to Sunny in front of them and you should have seen the Head of Sales’ face, i really think she has a crush on him.

So now we have an add-on OOS piece for Q3 and they also bought into Sunny’s strategic proposal for Q4 but they want some tweaks to it, like what Uknow-hyung was proposing in the meeting. 

**Boss**

It doesn’t matter. He should have aligned with you beforehand. 

Getting more new business than expected as a result doesn’t excuse him. 

The ends do not justify the means.

Call me. 

_ [ Voice call XX:XX AM ] _

\--

**Q**

_online_

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Q**

bro u ok? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

recep just texted me if you got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning lol

appaz she said good morning to you and you just stared at her

lol what is this chwang

where have your manners gone?

chwang?

shim chwang?

ok I’m asking this for real now it’s not like you to not reply me

Changmin?

Are you ok? Is it those two? Are they bothering you?

Do we need to do another drinking binge again?

Ryeong says he can come along and be your wine pourer.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re: regroup

Can we please have a post-mortem. 

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: regroup

Hi Max, 

Sure! Should I come over to your desk?

Thanks for asking, I wanted to grab you too ASAP today to talk about HERA as well as WYM.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re: regroup

Please head to the Purple Line conference room. 

\--

"Welcome to BT Conferencing. Please enter your pass-code followed by the hash key."

"Beep beep beep- beep beep beep. Beep."

"After the tone, please record your name followed by your organisation."

"SM’s SK Telco team!"

"Thank you. Your participants have not yet arrived. Now joining-"

“...yeah I’ve dialled in!”

“Hold on, the clients aren’t responding, I’ve asked the intern to try calling them too…” 

“Oh, right, the marketing manager did tell me the other day that they might have Townhall in this time slot.”

“Hfft, hfft, hff, hff!”

“Jeez, intern, why were you running? Catch your breath.”

“Hfft, hff, t-thanks, hfft…”

“Oh my god, Sehun, _ stop it_. His name is Lucas! Can you please try and remember it! I’ve told you four times!”

“Eh? Nah, it’s fine. I’ll just keep calling him ‘intern’. There’s too many of them anyway.”

“You…”

“Hfft, sorry, Baekhyun-hyung, I got the clients on the phone- they can’t- hfft, can’t…”

“Can’t make it?”

“Yes, yes, they’re asking to reschedule to tomorrow instead…”

“And you had to sprint to tell us this?”

“_Sehun_.”

“S-sorry, hfft, Baekhyun-hyung said it was urgent.”

“It’s okay, we’ll just head back then, thanks for the urgency, Lucas- _ oh_! Hyung-nim!”

“Hyung-nim, morning.”

“D-director-nim! A, a pleasure to meet you!”

“Are you boys using this room.”

“Ah, no, no, we booked it for a conference call but our clients asked to reschedule- Sehun, Lucas, come along…”

“Thanks.”

“No, no, we’re the ones who should be thanking- _ ah _! Hi, Uknow-hyung!”

“Boys, hey!” 

“Uknow-hyung!”

“Morning, morning! Ah, sorry, I can’t chat, I have a meeting with- oh, Max is already here.”

“See you, Uknow-hyung! Hyung-nim!”

“Please close the door behind you. Thanks.” 

“Good morning, Changmin.”

“....”

“Ah, sorry- working hours- yes. Max. Have you eaten breakfast?”

“Jung. Morning. There, that takes care of small talk.”

“Ah, you’re angry.”

“That’s rather astute of you.”

“Okay, first of all, please allow me to apologise. I got a bit too excited by how final online was smooth, and that carried over to the presentation.”

“You got a bit too excited.”

“Yes, and then maybe I kind of interrupted Sunny a little too much when she was presenting.”

“You interrupted Sunny.”

“Yes, so I think there was some misunderstanding because really, I got a bit too excited, and I think maybe the language I was using was too- er, what is the word I’m looking for- too intense, you know? I was talking about the track experience, and the clients really liked it, they felt it was better for Q3-”

“You got a bit too excited.” 

“Er, yes. But no harm done! I’m not very good with words sometimes, you know. But the clients got what we were trying to say. They’re fine with trying the tracker experience for Q3 and then they just felt for Sunny’s proposal, we can make some tweaks to let it be more grounded. But overall they like the sound of things! And most of what I suggested was what we chatted about when we watched the Michael Jackson flashmob, remember? Over dinner? You had so many amazing ideas. Minseok was saying all these are out-of-scope so that’s also additional revenue, right?”

“You mean your tweaks.”

“Huh? I mean, beg pardon.”

“You mean the tweaks you told Sunny she should do. You told her to, in front of the clients.”

“Er, I guess you can say it that way? But I think they’re just common sense, and the clients agree-”

“Jung. You have no idea at all, right?”

“Okay, I understand yesterday could have gone better, but I think it’s no harm done, in the end-”

“No harm done? No harm done?”

“You know, I think this may go smoother if you can just let me explain in full without interruptions-”

“Oh, so now _ you_’re getting mad?”

“Look, Changmin-”

“_My name is Max._”

“-you’re cute and all, and you’re an amazing suit, and I think you’re one of the smartest persons I know. But sometimes you just have this aura and it’s so suffocating and everything has to be _ just so_, and it’s so stifling for creativity, you know. Sometimes we need to fling away our prejudices and just step back to look at things differently and maybe readjust ourselves to the big picture-”

“Fling away our prejudices? Step back? Big picture?”

“Do you think you can stop interrupting me?”

“Wow, Jung. You are such an _ asshole_.”

“Excuse me?”

“You have the fucking gall to call me suffocating? Me?”

“I didn’t say it like that-”

“I know I can be anal retentive. I know I can be controlling. I know some of the younger creatives think I’m high strung and money minded. But guess what? I know. And I don’t care. _ At least I’m self-aware. _ Which is more than what I can say for you.” 

“Hey.”

“You’re spoilt, Jung Yunho. You’ve bought into your own legacy and that’s just. Hubris. Yes, you are an exceptional creative. Yes, you have amazing ideas and you have the charisma and the energy and the passion to just - get everyone worked up and believing in your vision. But here’s the thing. You creatives forget there’s more to this business than simply shitting out the best idea. You can spin the most creative, the most disruptive activation or experience but at the end of the day, that’s not what matters. What matters is what the clients ask for, and what the clients have bought with their time and money. And what can be churned out into reality. And not some fucking fantastical castle built out of clouds in the fucking blue skies.”

“I don’t think-”

“You creatives are so fucking spoilt- you think the world revolves around you all making the most exciting, the most innovative creative work, and fuck the suits and the project managers and the producers who tell you things like ‘this is not feasible’ or ‘we don’t have the budget’ or ‘this is off-brief’. Just fucking wet blankets all around, right? _ Don’t talk to me about the big picture_.” 

“I- I don’t think that, we need you guys to properly-”

“Spare me the fucking bullshit. You fucking steamrolled Sunny and then undermined her in front of the clients, but it’s all fucking dandy at the end of the day because Jung Yunho saves the day, huh? It was her fucking show. Do you know how unprofessional we look? We were proposing shit that we couldn’t even be fucking aligned on! It was a fucking strategy initiative and the strategy director gets called out on her job and her expertise by a senior member on her team, and you don’t see anything wrong with this?”

“The clients were happy-”

“Of course they fucking were! Their Head of Sales was happy and therefore all of them were! And she was happy because she fucking has a crush on _ you_.”

“I wouldn’t say that-”

“You wouldn’t say that because you’re fucking oblivious. Minseok tells me she’s been to every single post-production review. That’s three offlines and three onlines, Jung. Do you think a Head of Sales has so much free time on her hands? Or she’s there for eye candy?”

“I really-”

“But of course, if Jung Yunho says it’s a no, the reality is a no. Never mind that he may not have all the details, or never mind that he may not fucking know what the fuck he’s spouting. It’s a no! We plebeians just have to go along with it!”

“Hey, no, okay so there’s a whole lot of passive-aggressiveness here-”

“You want to talk about passive-aggressiveness? You want to talk about passive-aggressiveness? Okay. _ We’ll talk about passive-aggressiveness_.” 

“Changmin, really-”

“My name! Is. _Max_. What about all that shit with Siwon, huh?”

“What about Choi Siwon.”

“You want to talk about passive-aggressiveness? That email you sent was the height of passive-aggressiveness! Where do you even get off!” 

“Don’t get me started on that. I don’t know what he’s been doing with you all, but that’s not how it works, you know. He’s not a creative, at most he’s a- a- a project manager who is in charge of the social bits for the different projects. He shouldn’t be the ones calling the shots on what gets shot and what doesn’t.”

“Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?”

“No!”

“Do you even hear what you just said?”

“Look, Changmin, you know I think you are a great suit. The problem is Siwon-”

“You could have discussed things with me. You could have texted me. You could have even called me to brief over the phone what are the essentials you want to be captured. You could have had one of your art directors stand in for this. You knew this was happening - we talked about it, Minseok reminded you, Mark sent a calendar invite into your inbox! You cannot expect, just because you have another meeting for another brand, that somehow the clients’ projects will be pushed back? It’s fucking Seoul Fashion Week, Jung. Wooyoungmi doesn’t control it because they’re just one of many participating brands. Of course their models would be walking.”

“Siwon should have made sure Mi was there-”

“Mi was perfectly fine to review the rushes offsite! If you had a problem with it, you could have reached out to any of us-”

“No one told me that was happening!”

“Now that’s a lie. With all the calendar invites and reminders-”

“Siwon is absolutely shit at his job-”

“Do you hear me disagreeing with you? Siwon being shit is not the issue here. The issue here is your passive-aggressiveness and your thick-headedness-”

“I wanted it on the record because he’s shit and he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing and he’s just waltzing around being a liability-” 

“Which is abo-fucking-lutely fine but Siwon isn’t the one whose capability you called into question with your fucking email. _ It was me._”

“I…”

“Do you truly not even understand what you had written? What your email sounds like?”

“It wasn’t- I wasn’t- It wasn’t meant to be like that. I wanted! To. Help you.”

“_What_?”

“You always look so stressed around him, your lips will flatten into a thin line and your eyes go wide and blank, then you smile but it’s like, lights on, no one’s at home, and he’s always trying to put an arm around you, or lean into you or just touch you. And you always smile back and lean away but then he follows and then you just. Dance around him in indirect avoidance but you never really… He oversteps your boundaries all the time. And I just wanted it on the record that even those incidents aside, he too. Doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing professionally.”

“....”

“Changmin? I’m sorry, I mean Max.”

“...”

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t think that was how it looked like- the way I was to Sunny. I’ll apologise to her. I really didn’t mean- I’m not trying to make excuses, I was just really excited-”

“I’m not finished.”

“Beg pardon?”

“I’m not finished. So you fucking wrote that email about Choi Siwon. In a. Fucking. Misguided attempt to. What? Help save me?”

"..."

“Do you know how long I have been working in this industry?”

“Um, do you really want me to answer that?”

“Twelve fucking years. Including three separate internships I did in my university days. All with account management teams. I’m not some fucking wide-eyed freshie ingénue. Did you think that in twelve years, I haven’t run into slimeballs like this? Did you think that I wasn’t handling it? That I wouldn’t be able to handle it?”

“I…”

“You come riding in on your fucking white horse and expect to? What? Save me? That’s just so fucking insulting and patronising on so many different fucking levels that I don’t even know where to begin. The so-called indirect avoidance you pointed out was _ me fucking handling it _ and still getting my job done because how is that for big picture, Jung? Newsflash, this is work. _ I’m just here to do my job, and do my job well, and go home. _ I don’t have to like my co-workers or even think well of them to make that happen. Choi Siwon may be a shit person and absolutely incompetent at his job, but I don’t have to let that affect me. _ And that in itself is being professional and doing my job_!”

“I…”

“You say he oversteps my boundaries all the time. He does. But you know what the irony is, Jung?”

“…”

“So do you.”

“…”

“Yeah. How about that.”

“Max- I… Wait, I-”

_ Click_.

“...Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Demystifying the jargon:**
> 
> **Connections framework**: Think of it as a mindmap to show how individual ad pieces tie into a larger campaign.  
**offline-to-online micro-conversions**: physical and digital little decisions a consumer makes, towards actually buying a product (aka being converted).  
**skins and trackers**: Your Spotify Daily Mix is an example of a tracking experience. Skins means making the tracker pretty into a consumer-friendly layout.  
**ATL**: Above The Line. Some examples include your television commercials and your giant billboards. The simplified opposite is BTL, Below The Line, which means reaching out to your consumers in not quite direct/mainstream matters as ATL. Brands do get bit nervous when the recco is like "let's go BTL and ditch ATL" but they're getting better.  
**post production reviews, offlines/onlines**: When brands and agency get together to review or shape an ad before it gets released to the public. Typically film/moving images ads require more post production time. Offline/online is a term specific to a film or video ad. Offline indicates the PP phase where feedback to raw footage flow in an ad can be addressed. Thereafter, offline is finalised (some of us call it "picture lock") and that's when you can go into online, which is the phase for animation, footage colour, correction etc done to the finalised raw footage. They require different software and different types of editors and timings, so it's not done to go back and forth between offline and online. Much $$.  
**media submission deadline**: Our lovely friend LessStress in the comments will be most familiar with this. This is the deadline a media owner (example Superbowl/NFL) gives to a media agency to submit a finalised ad so it can be broadcasted to their target audience. This can apply to film, print, digital ads. A media agency does not create the ads - a creative/ad agency does and hands it over c/o the media agency upon client approval.  
**post mortem**: Exactly what it means. usually someone's fucked some shit up and then there's an official call for this.  
**accidental conference calls**: This actually happens in RL. There was one time my creative team did a concall on their own with a production house - my producer and I were both not there... Somehow they left the call on even after shit was settled and then Finance got shouty at us because it turned into a 6 hour long call (expense is c/o company finance LOL) before some other astute person used the room and had the intelligence to hang up. 
> 
> uuhhhhhhh the conversation between shim and jung is too dense so just ask me in the comments if any bit of the jargon that got flung about is confusing. 
> 
> Till next time when the fallout comes~


	7. It Is What It Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100 kudos jfc folks  
this chapter kicked me in the teeth and then some. thank you to everyone who dropped such kind notes last chapter too- please feed with comments if you like
> 
> @Mouldsee "i adore you" is here in spirit but not quite what you wish for methinks. lizzy's being dramz
> 
> -
> 
> An update a day in celebration of #DBSJ #AnalogTrip:  
7 Oct - Sing! Idol  
8 Oct - #officeantics  
9 Oct - i can't walk alone anymore
> 
> Keep an eye out:  
Analog Trip premiere (9 Oct 10pm KST)  
https://www. youtube.com/user/SMTOWN/featured
> 
> #GUILTY youtu. be/1XLxZ5rJzQs  
#toho15th #XV #東方神起

**Shim Chwang**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**Shim Chwang**

I know it’s 11 in the morning but I really need a drink.

I’m out on urgent half day leave.

**You**

?? 

who is this

why do you have Changmin’s phone

minseokie u pranking your boss again?

im in the middle of a coding spree here

**Shim Chwang**

I used your spare key.

Opened up your bottle of Romanee Conti… Kyu, sometimes I think I don’t deserve you.

Can Ryeong make me his tteokbokki?

**You**

wait

shit

chwang u ok?

on my way

grabbing Ryeong

\--

**Minseok (Little Min)**

online 

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**Minseok (Little Min)**

Hyung

Is my boss with you? 

I tried Kyu-hyung but he’s not answering

**You**

Hey Minseok

Yes they’re both with me

Did Changmin not leave an OOO? 

He’s on half day leave today.

**Minseok (Little Min)**

omg

I lost 30 years off my life!!!!!

**You**

?

**Minseok (Little Min)**

I couldn’t find him at all 

He doesn’t ever do this

Even if he has an urgent offsite, he texts Mark and I in our group chat in case we need him to sign any CEs

And SK telco team are spouting some crazy story

**You**

?

What rumours

**Minseok (Little Min)**

Something about Boss and Uknow-hyung having some shouting match

But that’s crazy right

**You **

Haha.

Yes, crazy.

**Minseok (Little Min)**

Anyway… sorry for disturbing

At least he’s with you

Thanks, Ryeowook-hyung

**You**

No problem. 

See you at work.

\--

From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: Sharing for creative resources - Kia and Zombie Strike

Hi Max,

Let me know when you have some time today - we need to huddle about resources sharing across Kia and Zombie Strike. Hyukjae and Donghae will need more of Yunho’s presence.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

Re: OOO

Hi, 

Thank you for your email. I am currently away on personal leave. Please reach out to my team (Minseok Kim, Mark Lee) for urgent matters.

Otherwise, I will respond to your emails when I am back in the office. 

Best,

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

**The Hojoon**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Hyung

**The Hojoon**

Yeah?

**You**

Hyung

**The Hojoon**

Yup, what’s up?

**You**

Hyung

**The Hojoon**

Yunho, did you butt dial me?

Or butt Whatsapp

Although I have no idea why a butt Whatsapp would auto type “hyung”

**You**

Hyung

I fucked up. 

\--

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

Minseok

**You**

That’s hyung to you

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

Ehhhh you love me too much

**You**

>_>

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

Anyway hey are you in a meeting with Changmin-hyung?

**You**

No

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

cause I just heard the wildest shit

**You**

He’s on half day leave

**Flaming Charisma**

And I

!!

REALLY?

REALLY?????

**You**

That was my reaction too.

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

He’s never on leave!

Didn’t your big boss make a big joke out of it during her speech at last year’s EOY DND?

Something about how he can’t encash the leave or carry it forward even if he leaves the whole block untouched???

Didn’t he attend some crazy awards dinner while doped up on fever meds once??

**You**

Yes she did

and yes he did

🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻

He’s apparently on leave now

And Ryeowook-hyung and Kyu-hyung are with him?

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

Are you serious??

**You**

Yeah

Ryeowook-hyung just replied me over Whatsapp

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

are they

ARE THEY ALL SKIPPING WORK TO HANG OUT?????

**You**

🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

WHY DO THEY NEVER INVITE US ON THIS TYPE OF SHIT

**You**

🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠

**You**

Well

They’re the original Kyuline after all

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

ugh

Never mind

I’d party with you

**You**

No thanks

I still need to shit out a deck for my client

And Uknow-hyung is nowhere too

He owes me things! Actual meat of the presentation things

I’m making Mark camp out at his desk area to ambush him.

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

ARE YOU SERIOUS

Is the whole world slacking off!

**You**

🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻🤷🏻

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

Why are we working so hard then

It’s 3pm can we go home too

**You **

Are you asking me?

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

Yes!

**You**

No.

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

What?

**You**

You asked me if you can go home. I said no.

LOL!

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

😠😠😠

**You**

Hodong-hyung will break your spine if you clock out earlier

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

oh that’s true

ok thanks bro thanks for reminding me abt my pig of a boss

**You**

Oh come on. It’s not the first time the three of them have pulled this

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

Which this?

**You **

This disappearing together or suddenly AWOL together thingamajig they always do

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

Yeah but it’s always like the….. 4th round of bar-hopping on a Friday night/Saturday morning!

Or vanishing to cook and game over the weekend!

It’s NEVER during work!

Changmin-hyung’s so uptight about work!!

**You**

Well… Always a first time for everything then I guess

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

No wait

It means the bibigo girls might not have been shooting their mouths off with crazy rumours after all

**You**

What rumours

are these the same rumours as what’s coming from the SK Telco boys

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

are you at your desk

**You**

Yeah, why?

**Flaming Charisma Minho**

Pantry, now!

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)>

Re: WYM - Global - Paris Summit

Hi BoA,

I’ve made shifts in my schedule. Turns out I can make it for the Paris summit after all - and I know the Shilla is keen to have our people talk to their French reps for their Europe expansion plans. 

I can take that on while I’m there, if you’re happy for us to have a finger in that pie?

Best,

Max.

\--

From: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: WYM - Global - Paris Summit

Max, 

Have you decided to finally let Minseok off your apron strings? LOL. From what you’ve told me, that boy is more than capable. Let him run things for a bit. You’ve got bigger fish to fry. 

Of course I’m more than happy for you to take it on. 

Just between us - that offer for GAD in exchange for fronting all my regional accounts still stands.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)>

Re:Re: WYM - Global - Paris Summit

Boss,

Are you sure you wanted to put that down on black-and-white?

Way to spring an offer on a poor unsuspecting man… I still can’t see myself suitable for Kia.

\--

From: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: WYM - Global - Paris Summit

We can talk more about it when you’re back. 

Are you flying tonight then?

\-- 

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)>

Re:Re: WYM - Global - Paris Summit

Boss, 

Yeah - I took a half day off to pack. 

I’ll see you back in the office in a week. 

See attached an excel- I’ve consolidated a few of the more pressing new business and scope matters that’ll need your immediate attention. 

I need your help to shout down the phone at HERA’s procurement. They’re late in the payout for Q1 OOS - and we’re already into Q4.

If you need the scanned copies of the signed CEs to throw in their faces - both Minseok and Mark have them. 

For the rest of the day to day - we have Minseok.

Best,

Max.

\--

From: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: WYM - Global - Paris Summit

Cancel the half day in the system, you’ve more than earned it. 

See you in a week - don’t worry about Minseok, I won’t bite him. Much. Maybe just a little nip?

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; Mark, Lee < [ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org)>

Re: Handover

Hi boys, 

I’ll be in Paris for a week for a couple of work matters. Attached is a handover. 

I’ve spoken about high-level matters with BoA, so don’t worry about that. 

Minseok, I know you have the day to day at hand, so I’m not worried. I’ll just need both your help to also keep an eye on Zombie Strike in the meantime. 

See you both in a week. If you feel like having Pierre Herm**é** macarons or want anything from the streets of Paris - just text.

Best

Max.

\--

**Q**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**Q**

I hope you realise you are being extremely dramatic.

**You**

Well done on using capitalisation and punctuation. 

And I don’t know what you’re talking about.

**Q**

Okay, I know you feel super embarrassed about the screaming match you had with Uknow.

But fleeing halfway around the world in answer is just mental.

**You**

I honestly don’t know what you are talking about.

The two things are not related.

And… I know I bitch you out continuously, but it’s odd as fuck when you spell properly?

**Q**

is it

thank fuck

i was spraining my thumb pressing the shift key and all

no more proper Q for u oops

**You**

It wasn’t an ask for you to go back to mangling the language!!

**Q**

too late

can’t be undone

never doing it again

u like it when i chatspk at u

:D :D :D :D :D :D 

**You**

Jesus.

**Q**

dont distract me

wont work

like i’ve heard of “fleeing from embarrassment”

but wow

how many miles is this

how deep is your embarrassment

how deep is your love

how deep is your love mmm i really need to learn cause we’re livin in a world of fools

ur the fool

**You**

Q, whatever you’re smoking, I hope you didn’t have to pay too much for it.

Because it’s POTENT AS FUCK. 

**Q**

im smokin…. hot

**You**

You’re delusional.

**Q**

im right so the Chwang doth protest so much

**You**

I’m boarding. 

**Q**

sure u r 

that just means ur only gonna be flying in like what

45 min?

there’s still waiting for everyone in economy to board and then flight safety video and all

u cant run away from me

**You**

I can be a good law-abiding citizen and put my phone on flight safety mode sooner.

**Q**

wait

dont u dare

**You**

au revoir

**Q**

SHIM CHWANG

\--

From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Sharing for creative resources - Kia and Zombie Strike

Morning Max - can we regroup on this? 

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

Re: OOO

Hi, 

Thank you for your email. I am currently away travelling on a business trip. Please contact my team for work matters - Minseok Kim, Mark Lee.

For urgent matters, please WhatsApp but do note that I have very limited internet access and will be in the GMT +2 timezone. 

I will endeavour to respond to your emails with as little delay as possible. 

Best,

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Lucas, Wong <[ lucas.wong@sment.org ](mailto:lucas.wong@sment.org)>

To: Mark, Lee <[ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org)>

Re: Purple line conference room

Hi Mark, 

Want to get lunch together? I know you’ve been asking about the Purple Line incident yesterday… I can update you!

Let me know!

Thank you and warmest regards,

Lucas. 

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re: Here be dragons

Careful today. Someone’s breathing fire! 

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be tigers

Shouldn’t it be “tiger” rather than “dragon” 

Considering Uknow-hyung’s zodiac…

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

“Here be dragons” is an actual saying, you uncultured swine.

Leave the copywriting to me…

\-- 

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

Fine fine ur the boss

Seriously all you copywriters. so sensitive

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

OMG DID YOU SEE THAT 

HE SHOUTED AT JUNSU

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

I bet he’s missing Max now. The one suit that doesn’t piss him off

Unless we count BoA?

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

We don’t count BoA since she is THE EMPRESS DOWAGER remember

Anyway, he may not have shouted at Max but Max has shouted at HIM

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

You mean the Purple Line incident? 

I thought that’s just a rumour!!

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

No I heard it from Zhou Mi who heard it from YoonA who heard it from Leeteuk who heard it from Yuri who heard it from Mark who heard it from the SK intern that it really happened.

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

Hey Mister Hotshot Copywriter, that’s one heck of a run on sentence. 

And you copywriters are a gossipy bunch…. I thought Mi is close to Max’s gang of boys?

Didn’t he name it after that shifty-looking developer…. Q-line or something.

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

It’s called Kyuline. And seems like they’ve closed ranks

I asked Minho the other day when he came by to brief me about the new round of film directors for the Kia brand film. He claimed he didn’t know anything. 

Btw speaking of Kyuline - Have you heard that Victoria’s tendered????

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Here be dragons

No! I thought THAT was a rumour!

\--

**@changmin88**

> <Black and white shot of the Eiffel Tower lit up at night>
> 
> **changmin88** Salut, Paris #lavillelumiere #lavilledelamour #work #landscape
> 
> Liked by **kmnsk ** and **42 others **
> 
> _ View all 5 comments _
> 
> **gyucode88 **salut fucker NOW REPLY ME ON WHATSAPP
> 
> **zhou.mi** have fun xx drop by l’avant and have a drink for me!!
> 
> **ryeonggu** i want roquefort

\--

**BoA Constrictor**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**BoA Constrictor**

YOU

**You**

Hey

**BoA Constrictor**

What have you done.

**You**

I’m not sure, but I’ll apologise for whatever it is first

**BoA Constrictor**

What did you do to Max??????

I heard about your asshole move against Sunny for HERA.

And Yunho-yah you IDIOT.

Have you forgotten?

She’s Sooman-seongsaeng-nim’s niece!

**You**

Oh, that.

**BoA Constrictor**

You’re lucky she’s nice.

**You**

You know things like that don’t matter to me. 

But yes, I know I was an asshole to her and way out of line.

I apologised. 

**BoA Constrictor**

I know you pride yourself on meritocratic artistic integrity but please, remember to read the situation in the room.

**You**

Sunny and I are fine. At least, she says she’s fine with me

She seems almost amused. 

**BoA Constrictor**

Fine. 

What about Max? 

Why did my best suit come to me the day after your crazy shit and volunteered himself to fly halfway around the world for a meeting that he himself told me he’d dial into not two days ago?

And I keep hearing all sorts of odd water cooler gossip about you two.

That he shouted at you??

Max doesn’t shout!

**You**

oh

He’s not in Korea? 

**BoA Constrictor**

What happened between the two of you?

He sounded so weird I had to throw my trump card in case he’s thinking something crazy

LIKE LEAVING ME.

And I’m mad at you for that too.

You know how I hate it when I have to reveal my hand too soon!

**You**

When is he back?

**BoA Constrictor**

One track mind, huh. 

**You **

Where is he now?

**BoA Constrictor**

Ah, you stupid hopeless man. 

**You **

It’s not like that. I need to apologise. 

**BoA Constrictor**

You’re not making sense. 

What did you do? 

You said you’ll fix it, but then now all the interns and AEs have all sorts of wild stories about the two of you shrieking at each other.

Someone even said you had a fistfight? As if Max would be that uncivilised.

**You**

The part where he shouted at me is true. But I deserve it.

**BoA Constrictor**

?????

Max? 

My Max?

You made my Changmin shout at you?

**What is wrong with you. **

**You **

It is my fault.

**BoA Constrictor**

Bloody right it’s your fault!

Thank goodness I reminded him about the impending promotion.

**You**

When is he back?

**BoA Constrictor**

If he does something insane like tender his letter over you, 

I’ll kill you. 

I’ll shove your Cannes Lion up your creative ass together with your overblown sense of integrity. 

See if I don’t. 

**You**

I need to know

I need to apologise

**BoA Constrictor**

Do you hear me?

**You**

BoA, I adore him. 

**BoA Constrictor**

omg

**You**

He hates me. 

And it’s all my fault.

_[ Voice call XX:XX AM ] _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Demystifying the jargon...**
> 
> **Romanee Conti**: Not ad jargon but just know Kyuhyun's an obnoxious wine whore who buys into the power of labelling  
**OOO**: did I explain this? it's all a blur... "Out of office". It's polite to leave an OOO automated reply to announce where the fuck you are. Howeverrrrr to your actual working team though/people you work with directly 24/7, them having to find out your whereabouts through an OOO is the height of rudeness on your end.  
**CE**: Cost Estimate. The first step in clients' official payment process for the agencies' services. we suits (at least the ones who have a brain) have a rule of Do Not Start Official Work (especially OOS) for the client brands unless they have signed off on the official CE. Because that is the brand giving acknowledgement and going "hey im going to pay $$ for the work". Money is important.  
**carrying forward leave**: typically agencies let smaller fry like managers and executives carry forward annual leave (usually 5 days) into the next calendar year but not more senior members (who would also have more AL in comparison). keyword being "typically". my ex-ECD had like...... 60 days carried forward one calendar year because he had so many off-in-lieus and he was forced to take mondays/fridays off for a good while to clear it. I texted him to talk work anyway. #assholesuit  
**AWOL**: Absence Without Leave. Military jargon  
**GAD**: Group Account Director. In #officeantics universe, that is one rank up (and ergo more responsibility, more brands to look after) from Shim's current SAD - senior account director - position. Tbh there's a bit more behind BoA's offer but I'm gonna wait and see if people figure it out on their own. likely not though....  
**procurement**: The department in larger client brand organisations that, well, procures services from vendors/suppliers - an ad agency can be one such vendor. Aka the first peoples that you chase when they owe $$$ (sadly a common occurrence even for global brands).  
**"xx's tendered"**: basically, someone has thrown in their notice, ie. resigned. folks at ad agencies typically have 2-3 months worth of notice to serve, so unless you're on probation, leaving dramatically in 2weeks is not what happens. 
> 
> Seems like there's less things to explain this chapter but it might also be because everyone's in no mood to work at all. LOL. Except maybe Minseok.  
Till next time~


	8. Key Learnings

From:  [ uknow_YH.gwang@gmail.com ](mailto:uknow_YH.gwang@gmail.com)

To:  [ shimchangmin88@gmail.com ](mailto:shimchangmin88@gmail.com)

Re: Please don’t delete this.

Hi Changmin,

Please don’t delete this. 

Some top-line caveats before I get started. I know you’re itching to click the X button but please hear me out. Or read me out. I got this email address from Kyuhyun. Don’t kill him. He put up a very long and prolonged fight and also kind of tore me a new asshole in the process. He’s an amazing friend and I hope you’ll have him life-long because this kind of love and friendship is really hard to come by. 

Anyway. He gave me this email address after I threatened and begged and cajoled and basically haunted him, because I wanted to explain to you, but I wanted to do it in a space where I’m just Jung Yunho and you’re just Shim Changmin, and work is a separate sphere all together. 

Which brings me to my second point. Please don’t hate me because I began the email with your name. I hope you can forgive me for this; I asked around to understand why you so abhor using your own name in a professional setting, and I understand now. It wasn’t well done of those creatives to bully you with it when you were an intern, and it was thoughtless of me to bulldoze without regard.

As I mentioned: 

I’m just writing to you as a person, and this is also being sent outside working hours, so I figure and hope that “Changmin” is appropriate. If it isn’t and you feel that it is an invasion of your privacy, I sincerely apologise. 

I thought long and hard about this. I thought about speaking to you in person, at work. I thought about speaking to you in person, outside of work. I thought about texting you or calling you or even leaving a voicemail message. 

I thought of waiting until you’re back from Paris, to have a civilised discussion like adults. 

But I think I’ve forced myself enough on you. 

In the end I feel that email is the best way. At least this gives you the choice of opening it and the choice of reading it and even the choice of what you think about me if you do read it. 

I just want to thank you, if you do open it and are reading it even now. I write this with the honest expectation that you might see my name in your inbox and click “Delete”. I won’t blame you if you did. Do? Sorry - I’m not very good at writing. Occupational hazard. Usually I just thoughtlessly eject verbal diarrhoea all over the place and then hardworking copywriters pick up the slack.

I think I need to elaborate a little about my own reasons, just to shed some light on some things that I understand you found very offensive. I’m not hoping to excuse myself, or even explain my behaviour away. I just want to provide some context. I know you will likely find them weak and perhaps you may even be even more angered. I apologise. 

I know I am a very intense person with a working style that is an acquired taste. To put it plainly, I am an asshole with talent. I’ve always known that about myself. In fact, I also know a very large part of myself takes pride in it, that I can pull long hours and revel in it and spin results from an impossibly short amount of time when it seems like the odds are stacked against me.

Being an asshole means I plunge forward with being an asshole anyway, as long as it gets me good work. Unfortunately I do also know that I get indulged precisely because I do good work. That itself means I don’t always remember that I am an asshole, because people indulge me due to my track record and they as well as I forget I am not a very nice person when it comes to pushing the craft.

I admire that about you. That you don’t forget. We’ve been working together for months, but even when you allow me to take the lead and push in terms of creative POV back at clients, you’ve never indulged me. It’s never without reason - even when you don’t agree with me in terms of certain professional decisions, and likewise when I don’t agree with you, it’s never without our own rationale, and we make sure our rationale gets heard even if it doesn’t end up influencing the end decision.

I think my mistake was indulging myself in that. Like I said - I get indulged a lot; and I do know the industry and the higher ups spoil me. And I spoiled myself by pushing more and more on you precisely because I enjoyed our conversations. 

I foolishly assumed that was the case for you too. That you allowed them as well because of mutual enjoyment. I now understand that that is part of how you handle things, be they positive or negative, and handle them successfully; and just because people are assholes doesn’t mean you go up in their face and shout at them for being assholes. Instead you work with them and around them. Unfortunately even so with you handling it, I know I’ve caused you distress. I apologise. 

I’ve made my apologies to Sunny. Brilliant lady and one of the best minds I know. Unfortunately and in all honesty this isn’t the first time I’ve bullied her like that, and she laughed when I told her it won’t be the last, because I will forget. 

She’s promised me she will shout in my face about it when I behave badly the next time, and then remind me of how I nearly went down on my knees in apology. 

With regards to Siwon: 

I freely admit I don’t think a lot of his incompetence, and how he manages to survive despite that. Nepotism and talking or harassing your way into promotions is a very real problem in our industry. That was partially the reason why I previously left the ad industry in the first place, to start 85Club with friends. Instead of only getting shouty about it and not getting any concrete changes, I wanted to foster a safer environment, especially for young creatives who are just starting out, where good work can shine unfettered by bullshit. 

Coming back to a big creative agency after that time away, where there are of course other pros but not in this aspect, I seem to have forgotten about this very real trend. That’s part of why my reaction has been so vehement. 

I’m trying to keep myself honest in this email, and that means not allowing myself to be a coward or hide behind vague denials or pretence. The other part of my reaction is due to the fact that I like you. Pure and simple. You are a friend, that I thought I had. I worked myself up and got protective even though it wasn’t warranted. I only wanted to help, but as you rightly pointed out, it backfired and invalidated your stance as well as your power over the situation. 

For that I apologise. I know you can take care of yourself. Like I said, I admire you precisely for it. 

It won’t happen again. My interference, I mean.

I cannot find myself to like him though. You are right however, that like or dislike is not a mutually inclusive concept with work. One can dislike someone else but yet do good work with them. In any case; I have yet to see good work brought to the table from his end. On that, I won’t stop pushing. This is one point I will not apologise about. 

I don’t want to assume your work trip to Paris has anything to do with me. But on my end, I do feel that perhaps some distance from me might be good for both of us. I really don’t want to cause you any more distress than I have. To reiterate, I like you. You don’t do that to people you like. 

Hyukjae has been saying he needs more of a challenge, and he’s an amazing art. I’ve discussed with BoA and Leeteuk that he and I will tag-team art-wise for all accounts I am responsible for. Since pitch season is coming up, the higher ups have also reflected they want more of my immediate attention on those. For WYM, Zombie Strike and Hera, whilst I am still the leading CD, art-wise Hyukjae will front more of the creative ideation and execution portion. He will discuss any main directions with me first, however - don’t worry.

I know Leeteuk has agreed to cede you Mi for the rest of the calendar year. He’s also shared with us in writing that in the event that Mi is needed for China-focused pitches, YoonA will serve as backup writer. Donghae is Hyuk’s usual partner for his other accounts. If needed, Hae can help pitch in too because he is very familiar with Hyuk’s thought process. They both also understand the things I usually look out for. 

I’m not running away nor avoiding you. I just want to make this clear, in case it seems like petulant sulking or even like unwarranted petty punishment. I’m trying to make this clear now because I feel a large part of where I err is assuming too much and likely projecting onto you.

I’ll still be here. Your accounts are still my accounts - I genuinely love working on them. I hope however that it will make things easier on you if you don’t have to deal with my nonsense everyday. Hyukjae is one of the most articulate arts I’ve seen, for all that he likes to hide his light under a joking facade. Sometimes I feel he can even suit for himself, if needed. Not in the sense that invalidates suits. But that he’ll cause the least trouble for you and your boys. 

Reading through this once again, it really feels like I’m spending a lot of time trying to explain and defend my mistakes. I won’t waste any more of your time, if you’ve even read so far. 

Just know that I am sorry, and you are genuinely one of the best persons I’ve ever had the privilege of working with. 

In this week that you are away, the grapevine has been very active. I don’t know how true the rumours are of you leaving SM. I only hope you don’t let my blunders affect you negatively. I choose to think however, even if you do depart the company, it will be for greener pastures that too have seen your immense capabilities. I leave you only with the -

Warmest wishes, 

Yunho. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought I forgot about this right? Lawllll.   
The chapter is the Darcy Hunsford letter, but upon rereading it as I upload, it also reads like personal commentary on the industry I've left. HAHA. Oh well. 
> 
> Double updates today for Sing!Idol and #OA, if the villa I'm at rn makes its WiFi behave.....
> 
> No jargon notes for this chapter, given how the Jung is very clear that he's not emailing about work. Heh. 
> 
> Till next time!


	9. Bandwidth For Scaling

**Shim Chwang**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Shim Chwang**

Kyuhyun

**You**

oh hello

you’re alive

and replying my texts

shocker

?

shim chwang

did you just text me and then fuck off again

oy

changmin

**Shim Chwang**

Kyuhyun

Did you give Jung Yunho my personal email

**You**

Oh

that

lol

er

surprise?

i didn’t think you’ll check it. u only use that to play starcraft with me

**Shim Chwang**

Don’t lie

He said he begged you to. 

**You**

he did?????

i

wait

so he really did email????????? 

**Shim Chwang**

yes

**You**

and???

u can’t leave me hanging like this

IM INVESTED

hello

HELLO

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**Shim Chwang**

The contents of that email are private. 

**You**

…..

wow

NICE TO KNOW THAT THIS BEST FRIEND DOESN’T COUNT AS SHIT 

NEXT TO THE GREATEST OF JUNG YUNHO

NICE

YOUR PRIORITIES ARE FUCKED

u fucker

r u back at home

im coming over to fuck you up over your wine

not in a sexual way ew

but

yes

**Shim Chwang**

I’m in Paris.

**You**

still?????

wow boa really loves you doesn’t she

???? r u clearing leave as well

**Shim Chwang**

My flight is in five hours.

**You**

ok fine

how long is the damned flight

**Shim Chwang**

I don’t know

**You**

….. do i need to go shank jung yunho tomorrow

im on a new underarmour pitch with him now

I can totally pretend to slip on ryeong’s stylus and jab it in his throat

or something

**Shim Chwang**

are you?

working with him

**You**

wow now i really really wanna know what the email is abt

he really just went at me and begged and srsly mate

having uknow yunho’s full blown attention on u is actually really fucking terrifying

i dunno how u do it

**Shim Chwang**

because I’m not. 

He said I’m not.

**You**

what? 

changmin?

**Shim Chwang**

I’ll see you back in Korea.

\--

**@UKYH___**

> <messy meeting room with pieces and pieces of A3 paper printed with content plastered over the walls and artfully blurred>
> 
> Liked by **boaconstrictor ** and **1,206 others**
> 
> **UKYH___** It’s pitch season. Let’s go! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻#creativelife #agency #backtothegrind #takeadeepbreath #officeantics
> 
> _ View all 177 comments _
> 
> **s.hojoon** call me
> 
> **silver.hyukJ** fighting!!!!!!!! 

\--

From: Mark, Lee <mark.lee[ @sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

To: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: boss

Hyung! Boss is back! I just bumped into him in the pantry!!! Omg he bought us really expensive foie gras and shit. And also…. Matching tees that say “Someone went to Paris and all I got is this shitty t-shirt”.

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Mark, Lee <mark.lee[ @sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: boss

Toldja. Although LOL wtf @ the t-shirts??

I’m reaching office in 5. There was a traffic jam…

\--

From: Mark, Lee <mark.lee[ @sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

To: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: boss

I guess this means boss isn’t quitting after all? 

So the Lotte folks were lying…

\-- 

From: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Mark, Lee <mark.lee[ @sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: boss

How many times do I have to tell you to stop listening to the grapevine? 

You need to stop hanging out with the SK Telecom intern. 

Can you help me poke the creatives to regroup on HERA in two hours please? Since I don’t think Boss has worked with Hyukjae before. 

And you owe me the supp brief on WYM, young man….

\--

From: Mark, Lee <mark.lee[ @sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

To: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: boss

On it!!!

\--

**Q **

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Q**

So I take it that bottle of La Tache 2008 sitting at my desk this morning is from you?

Unless some enterprising house elf somewhere committed robbery for lil ol me

**You**

Your brain comes up with the strangest things sometimes.

House elves??

**Q**

hey harry potter is a masterpiece

don’t judge

after all this time always

>:

**You**

I know, dickhead.

who watched Cursed Child with you and spit on it together with you??

And yes. I’m back in the office. 

**Q**

oh good

that means ryeong and I earn money

**You**

What?

**Q**

yeah some of the idiots decided that you have fled SM out of embarrassment

ok to be fair that is the truth

but they said permanently

pls. 

ull come back. im here

and ur back lol

so they’re idiots

and ryeong got the bright idea to bet against them

ill go tell him it’s time to collect the debts

**You**

What is wrong with the two of you???

Rather… what is wrong with everyone in this fucking office?

??

Does the entire world know what the fuck happened between Jung Yunho and I? 

Fuck, that’s embarrassing. 

Although very smart of Ryeonggu indeed. 

Tell him I’ll make the cod roe cold pasta for him on Friday night.

**Q**

???? 

u tell him urself im not ur messenger

AND WHAT THE HELL? 

AM I INVITED TO THIS THING?

**You **

You seem to have no qualms playing messenger for me with other people, but you won’t do it for your other best friend?

Of course you’re invited, asshole. 

Bring the La Tache.

**Q**

NO

THAT LA TACHE IS MINE

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

CC: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: WYM and HERA - Q4

Hi all - 

Apols for being away, and thanks to Minseok for picking up the slack in the office all week. 

I’ve got great news for us - WYM’s global team will also like us to help spearhead Paris’ strategy and creative ideation out of our Seoul office, for 2020. 

**@boa.kwon** let’s catch up over lunch?

I understand that Yunho has pulled in Hyukjae as well to aid us in WYM, HERA and Zombie Strike since pitch season is going strong. Thanks Yunho!

**@minseok.kim** ; **@hyukjae.lee** let’s sit down post lunch so I can debrief you both on some of the topline?

**@yunho.jung **I can catch up with you separately for an update if you like.

Best,

Max. 

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Hyukjae, Lee < [ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

CC: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: WYM and HERA - Q4

Max, that’s amazing news! Yes, I can do lunch. 1215? 

Can you get Mark to help us book a table for two at the haute Italian fusion place in Cheonamdong? I hear the sous chef just took over as head and he did a revamp of the menu. 

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Hyukjae, Lee < [ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon < [ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)>

CC: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: WYM and HERA - Q4

Hi everyone,

That’s awesome to hear! ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

**@max.shim **No worries, that won’t be necessary! Hyukjae can update me. 

Let’s go guys!! I’m so proud! 💪💪💪💪💪💪

Yun. 

\--

**Flaming Charisma**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Flaming Charisma**

Max hyung is back?

**You**

Hello, Minseok-hyung.

How are you, Minseok-hyung.

How is your day?

Hi Minho, I am well. 

And you?

**Flaming Charisma**

Yeah yeah sure sure

Minseok hyung, Max hyung is back?

**You**

Yes. 

**Flaming Charisma**

So he’s not quitting after all?

Did your big boss retain him?

How is he and Uknow-hyung? Has anyone seen them interact together yet?

**You**

Why don’t you ask him?

Him and Uknow-hyung are fine. They even chatted per normal over email? 

**Flaming Charisma**

?

And get punched in the throat?

No thanks

Re: Uknow-hyung. REALLY?????

The SK Telco boys were SO SURE some shit went down

So did they lie??

**You**

Why are you asking me? 

Do I look like an oracle?

Go ask them!

**Flaming Charisma**

Maybe I should… 

**You**

Well then

Where is the HERA post timeline you owe me?

**Flaming Charisma**

uh

About that

**You**

Choi Minho.

**Flaming Charisma**

I just need to have a couple of production houses come back to me.

Then I can rejig my draft and send it to you…

**You**

CHOI MINHO. 

I need that thing since this morning 

and I’ve already been helping you push back at the clients for the better part of a week! 

**Flaming Charisma**

I know I know thank you so much I really really am grateful 

🙏🏻🙈🙏🏻🙈🙏🏻🙈🙏🏻🙈

**You **

I just need a topline guide!

We have beauty cleanups and CGI this time round for HERA right? 

I just need a rough gauge how long that will be - it doesn’t need to be slots booked by the post houses just yet!

**Flaming Charisma**

Yes yes soon soon

**You**

WE HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN THE JOB AWARDED MINHO.

TIMELINES ARE FUCKED MINHO

WHY IS THAT MINHO

BECAUSE I NEED YOUR ROUGH TIMELINE TO CLEAR COST MINHO

**Flaming Charisma**

I just need at least one of them to get back to me

**You**

WE’VE DONE SO MANY CAMPAIGN FILMS FOR HERA MINHO

HOW MANY OF THEM HAVE CGI MINHO

HOW MANY OF THEM HAVE BEAUTY CLEANUPS MINHO

G U E S S T I M A T E

I JUST NEED A 

B E N C H M A R K 

or 

you will NOT GET YOUR PRODUCTION BUDGET APPROVED MINHO

**Flaming Charisma**

Ok fine omg 

bro calm your tits

**You**

DON’T TELL ME TO CALM MY TITS

YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TO SEND IT TO ME

OR I’M SETTING MAX HYUNG PHYSICALLY ONTO YOU

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Mi, Zhou < [ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)> 

CC: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re: WYM and Zombie Strike

Hey Max,

Thanks for the quick chat! Nice to officially meet you too. I forgot to mention this to you just now - can you believe that was the first time we actually talked about work in this agency? 

I think all our previous conversations was making fun of Mi. LOL.

**@mi.zhou **you’re the best, bro.

For WYM, I know I said it in person just now but - what excellent news!! 

Actually Yunho-hyung and I were chatting in the pantry just now at tea time and we bounced a couple of ideas. 

Can we sit down tomorrow morning over breakfast for me to share that to you, and see if it’s possible for us to take any forward? Okay if you want planners to join too. 

On Zombie Strike, I actually have a question about the process internally as well as with clients. I know our work done for them is social-led. Is that led by creatives or the social team? I’m okay if it’s either. I just want to know for sure so I know where Mi and I can come in.

Let me know yeah?

Thanks!

Hyuk.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> 

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org) > ; Mi, Zhou < [ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)> 

CC: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re: WYM and Zombie Strike

Hi Hyuk -

No problem. Am glad to hear there are ideas already brewing.

I’m okay for breakfast. Minseok and I will be there with you and Yunho.

Best,

Max.

\-- 

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Mi, Zhou < [ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)> 

CC: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re: WYM and Zombie Strike

Hey Max, 

It’ll be Mi and I! 

I think Yunho-hyung has a morning pitch brainstorm session with Sooman-seongsaengnim tomorrow. 

**@yunho.jung** Bro will you be able to make it?

Okay see ya boys tomorrow! Coffee and doughnuts good for you? 

I’ll buy us all breakfast.

Thanks,

Hyuk.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org) >; Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Mi, Zhou < [ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)> 

CC: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: WYM and Zombie Strike

Sorry, you’re right - I have a session tomorrow morning with The Sooman and Kyuhyun, Ryeowook! It’s for Under Armour. 

But if you’re buying Krispy Kreme, can I please have an Original Glazed and Strawberry Gloss? 

You’re the best bro, love you. 

Love,

Yun. 

\-- 

**Shim Chwang**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Shim Chwang**

Kyuhyun

**You**

i feel deja vu

**Shim Chwang**

Q

Do you have 15 mins.

**You**

actually no but for u yes

**Shim Chwang**

Pantry.

I need you to look at something to confirm I haven’t gone mad.

**You**

????

**Shim Chwang**

See you at the pantry. 

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love. They mean more to writers than you'll ever know.
> 
> I'm off to Tokyo soon next week for the boys' XV live, so updates may be scarce. 
> 
> x
> 
> **Demystifying the jargon**
> 
> Pitch season: Aka when everyone goes mad in agencies big and small and pitch for potential projects from potential client brands, hence "pitch season". Think of it as big game season and agencies are hungry AS FUCK for business, here is your hunting rifle off you go. Typically agencies fling their big-name, best creative talent at pitching for potential biz.  
(I do not condone big game trophy hunting FYI)  
Supp brief: Supplementary job brief for existing projects. Typically they are written by AEs and not the more senior suits, when there are AEs on the team.  
La Tache: Not ad jargon, but a wine blend that RL!Shim, being a wine brand whore like his ChoSarang, is very fond of. I think it's USD 5k a bottle for the 2008 blend iirc?? I mean. This is also the man who spends abt USD 6k on a guitar he's only debuted once. And has like 4 other guitars.......  
House elves: You'll know this if you know Harry Potter. Inside joke.  
Post timeline: Aka 'post production timeline'. The real work for moving visual creative deliverables ex. videos/films only start after a shoot proper. Please ref: the explanation on offline/online done in earlier chapter notes.  
Production budget: Total $$$ (exclusive of agency fees) required from a client brand to produce a visual creative deliverable ex. a Key Visual or a Brand Film (notable examples). This includes all third party vendor fees ex. director fee, talent cost, studio rental, post-production suite and editor rental etc etc etc. To get this approved, typically client brands (unless the brand hired dumbfucks who don't know what the fuck they are doing) need to also have a rough idea of how long the whole process will take, because typically this also impacts in-market live deadlines the brand has. No timeline no budget approval. Minho knows this, which is why Minseok blows a gasket.  
CGI and Beauty cleanups: These take more Time and $$$ for beauty spots and ads than usual commercials because skin and light has to be flawless and editors have to clean up talent skin (that's why it's called "beauty cleanups" and yet still keep the resulting skin flawless and authentic. It's delicate surgeon work that costs lots of $$$... like coming up to USD 500k for a tiny suit of beauty films for ONE campaign I did before.  
Hyukjae: Has shades of one of my favourite aCDs, who is so articulate that yes, she can suit for herself. If she feels like it (she certainly doesn't). But CD!Jung, please see how it's done- THAT'S HOW YOU PHRASE QUESTIONS RE: COMPETENCY AND PROCESSES AT WORK.


	10. Reason To Believe

**Ryeonggu**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Ryeonggu**

Kyu! 

You dickhead, are you hiding from me?

I need the revised code for the redemption frame yesterday!!

**You**

ssh

wait

**Ryeonggu**

??

I can’t wait. 

The Kia suit is on my ass!

**You**

give me 20 min

i have the codes ready but i need to tweak the bleed for the scrolling

just 1 tweak but

wait

give me 20 min

**Ryeonggu**

Kyuhyun. 

We don’t even have five minutes. 

The suit has been chasing me since last night.

You have two minutes to get your ass back in your seat before I sell you out to him. 

**You**

norly ryeonggu ya this is an emergency

buy time

kyuline emergency

CODE RED

buy time!!!!

**Ryeonggu**

??

Did Minho piss Victoria off again?

For god’s sake, she’s leaving in two weeks, tell him to behave.

**You**

well yes that too 

she was screaming abt that this morning but

no

ryeong

it’s chwang

**Ryeonggu**

?????

Isn’t Changminnie back in the office??

**You**

yes

ryeong i owe u money

**Ryeonggu**

Cho Kyuhyun. Can you stick to one topic at a time?

Talk about money later!

What’s wrong with Changmin?

**You**

no its related

chwang found out uknow hyung is avoiding him

hes devastated

**Ryeonggu**

Was I right!!!!!

Changminnie is in love with him right!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where are you two now.

I’m coming over.

**You**

mexican place around the corner

he’s been brushed off all morning and he’s trying to act all cool abt it but he’s so wilted its not even funny anymore

i feel like im feeding a kicked puppy abandoned after its owner took it in for a couple of days and cuddled it too intensely and then the puppy bit the owner and now puppy's back at shelter and puppy's all but where did my owner go i didnt say GO AWAY i just wanted you to stop cuddling so hard

**Ryeonggu **

Maaaaaybe you are projecting. 

But. Okay. I’ll tell the PMs I’m grabbing a late lunch. Five minutes.

**You**

i mean i thought he had a crush but

i didn’t think you were right

or

ok wait maybe not in love in love yet

but theres something there more than a crush

ive never seen him like this ryeong

not even when minho stupidly won that stupid football game they were obsessed with

he only sulked then

makes me wonder how he was before we got our hooks into him

**Ryeonggu**

Cho Kyuhyun, sometimes I really wonder how you function.

How can you compare losing a football game to love????????

That was just his ego hurting because our dear Shining Junior Producer of the Year crowed too loudly in his face.

Didn’t I lure him out with beef galbi anyway?

And didn’t that lazy Kim CD say Changminnie was just rly quiet as an intern and an AE.

The one that got fired.

**You**

oh

i forgot abt that 

and yeah 

but

ok i rly dont think its love love yet

not the chest beating crying at han river drunk type of love

YET

its just

usually chwang’s so composed

esp when hes in his Max mode

pls come soon 

i dunno what to do other than feed him more tacos

he’s alr had 8 beef taccz

theres no alcohol in this place????

**Ryeonggu **

It’s not a bar, you idiot. 

Of course there’s no alcohol.

They serve middle school students! 

Are you saying you need alcohol to talk to Changmin?

It’s Changmin! 

**You**

no i 

well

ur the more self-actualised half in touch with your sensitive new age side

im

i think i shld juz provide alkies and manly rough pats on the back

im doing that now

just no alkies

be proud

**Ryeonggu **

Stop watching morning makjangs before you creep to work and formulating your concepts of real adult emotions based on that.

Do NOT say anything stupid to Changmin. 

I’m walking as fast as I can.

**You**

nah hes not talking much

ryeong

i rly

I really didn’t think it was this bad

I just thought Uknow hyung wanted to apologise to him, and he kept hounding me after our UA brainstorms, so I thought hey maybe he’s a dick but he’s a sincere dick?

THATS Y I GAVE SHIM CHWANGS EMAIL

I RLY

I REALLY DIDNT

**Ryeonggu **

Stop it before you break your own brain.

How many times do I have to tell you I am always right. 

Knowing Changmin, he’s just silent and a bit more dazed compared to his usual self. 

Do NOT do anything to worsen that. 

Buy him more tacos. 

He likes the cheesy kimchi pollo nachos too. Get that.

**You **

what abt salsa 

**Ryeonggu**

Not salsa but get him the pickled habaneros. 

He likes that. 

And get me a baja fish burrito with extra jalapenos. 

Revamping those wireframes made me hungry again. 

**You**

he asked me to get extra kimchi

**Ryeonggu**

GOOD. 

Am at the intersection now. 

Told the Kia suit that the code fucked up and we need to sort the kinks out and can only present tomorrow.

**Kyu**

ur the best

\--

**🎮 Kyuline**

_ Q-hyung, Ryeong-hyung, Minseok-hyung, Mi-hyung, Vic-noona, Chwangmin-hyungnim, You _

> 🔒Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Where’s everyone?

I just came back from a Dalkomm PPM and 

The clients gave coffee and sweet potato pastries!

Is everyone at their desks? Can I come by to deliver food?

Hello?

Guys…

Hyungs and noona!

**Vic-noona**

Don’t talk to me.

**You**

Noona :(((((

I said I was sorry!!

**Vic-noona**

No.

Uncompressed MOV for my tech boys to do HTML5 with?

Really, Minho?

Really? 

Choi Minho?

Really?

**You**

It was a mistake! I misread your email!

**Vic-noona**

You expect me to believe you made such a rookie mistake by accident! 

**You **

:((((

NOONA 

;_____;

**Minseok-hyung**

Not at my desk. With Uknow-hyung now to catch up on WYM.

**You**

Ok! But I’ll put a pastry at your desk for you to eat after, ok?

**Minseok-hyung**

No.

But help me feed Mark please.

I’ve been running around mad since the morning and he’s holding the fort for Hera and Zombie

Thanks!

**You**

Oh, ok…

**Mi-hyung **

Not at my desk sorry! 

Working on HERA with Hyukjae and we’re doing it over a late lunch right now

You have it. Sounds delish! 

Grab coffee with you tomorrow. 

**You**

Oh… ok! 

Have fun Mi-hyung! Ok sure!!

Kyu-hyung?

Max-hyung?

Ryeo-hyung?

Hello?

Hello…. :(

**Ryeo-hyung**

Apols. We’re good, will pass. We’re at an offsite.

**You**

Oh ok…. Kyu-hyung? Max-hyung?

**Ryeo-hyung**

We’re together.

**You**

All three of you?

**Ryeo-hyung**

Yes.

Eat the pastries well! They sound delicious. 

\-- 

**@changmin88**

> <a table-full of tacos being shoved aside in favour of blurred out scribbling and diagrams on a tablet and a stack of paper>
> 
> **changmin88** with friends like this~ #iNeedABeer #still #agencylife #allworknoplay #offsiteactuallymeansoffsite
> 
> Liked by **boa.constrictor ** and **16 others **
> 
> _ View all 3 comments _
> 
> **zhou.mi **lol mexican? Hyuk and I are at the pocha opposite. Hi!
> 
> **silver.hyukJ **ALL OF YOU ARE SLAVE DRIVERS. I BOARDED THE WRONG SHIP
> 
> **kmnsk **Can I have a quesadilla? Please? 

\--

Acitivity 

**Follow requests**

Approve or Ignore requests 

**@UKYH__**

🐺📸🎧🎳📱

**Confirm | Delete **

\--

**@UKYH__ **started following you. (4m) 

**Follow back**

\--

**@changmin88** started following you. (38s) 

**Following**

\--

From: Siwon, Choi <siwon.choi@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; Mark, Lee <mark.lee@sment.org> ; Mi, Zhou < [ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org) > ; Hyukjae, Lee < [ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)> 

Re: Zombie Strike!

Hey team! 

Can I ask if there are any updates to Zombie Strike? 

I was scrolling Instagram yesterday, and I saw League of Legends’ new campaign! 

It looks super super interesting and we can do something like that too for ZS! 

I wanna discuss, who do I go to? :^)

Warmest regards,

Siwon. 

**SIWON CHOI** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

_ Bringing you effective advertising campaigns since 1989 _

**HEAD OF CONTENT AND ACTIVATION**

_ Winner of Muse Creative Awards 2019, Social Media (Silver), Strategic Program (Rose Gold) _

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: siwon.choi[ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Mark, Lee <[ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org)>

To Siwon, Choi <[ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org) > ; Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Mi, Zhou < [ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org) > ; Hyukjae, Lee < [ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)> 

Cc: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: Zombie Strike!

Hi Siwon,

CCed Uknow-hyung as he is still lead on regional FMCG+Gaming accounts, as BoA-nim, Max-hyung, Uknow-hyung and Teuk-hyung had aligned.

Hyuk-hyung will be who you can reach out to, to talk social and creative push. (:

Please keep Minseok-hyung and I on copy in all emails about this! Max-hyung has done a slight restructure on suits side. 

Minseok-hyung and I will be the everyday contact across ZS, WYM and HERA. (:

Thank you!

Mark Lee. 

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)> 

To: Mark, Lee <[ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org) > ; Siwon, Choi < [ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org) > ; Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Mi, Zhou < [ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

Cc: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: Zombie Strike!

Thanks Mark! 

Siwon, bro, had a chat with Teuk-hyung and Heechul-hyung the other day. 

Heard from Max that he’s shaving down agency fee and rejigging hours bc of some complaints from clients. 

I can’t really remember…. Minseok, can you add on?

Anyway, am taking things forward with the clients but if we need you, I’ll give a shout.

Thanks,

Hyuk.

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)> 

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org) > ; Mark, Lee < [ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org) > ; Siwon, Choi < [ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org) > ; Max, Shim < [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Mi, Zhou < [ mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)> 

Cc: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: Zombie Strike!

Hyuk-hyung, you have a great memory! LOL. 

Hi Siwon,

Just to jump in and add on to Mark’s email and Hyuk-hyung’s helpful explanation. 

The ZS clients are trying to streamline agency costs on their end. Max-hyung and I have taken a look at the budget they have sent us and cut a portion to production fee and cost instead.

Resource-wise they’re happy for us to streamline, so we don’t have both the creative team and the social team on their dime. 

They’ve been very frank that they’re a smaller operation and thus need to try and push for as much budget efficiencies as possible. Given this, it won’t be fair to you and your team to do free work. 

Max-hyung has discussed with the clients and they are collapsing social and agency resources into just one art-copy pair. So Uknow-hyung is on consult as well while Mi-hyung and Hyuk-hyung will do the groundwork. 

If we need a bespoke social push, then the clients will be okay for us to bring you in for a couple of hours.

Hope this clarifies. I can pop by your area to download if required. 

Best regards,

Minseok. 

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Siwon, Choi <[ siwon.choi@sment.org ](mailto:siwon.choi@sment.org) >; Minseok, Kim < [ minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: Zombie Strike!

Hi team,

_ \- To list to avoid spamming with irrelevant matters. _

Thanks Minseok. 

**@siwon.choi**

Please see attached email alignment with CS and PM. BoA is in agreement. 

Will pop by your area in five minutes so we can do a face-to-face.

Best

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

**Shim Chwang**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Shim Chwang**

Q

**You**

yes it is I 

ur longsuffering best friend 

the Q

at your service

**Shim Chwang**

Don’t be shirty.

I can always text Ryeonggu. 

**You**

YOU 

**Shim Chwang**

😏

**You **

DONT GET ME STARTED

DON’T THINK I DONT KNOW

THAT THE TWO OF U 

HAVE A SECRET CHAT ON TELEGRAM

WHAT IS WITH U AND UR AVERSION TO KATALK

**Shim Chwang **

What is with you and your insistence at using a problematic messaging app with zero privacy?

Is this some sort of warped nationalistic pride?

**You**

YOU

**Shim Chwang**

Mmhmm. 

**You**

DONT THINK I DUNNO WAT UR DOING

**Shim Chwang**

What am I meant to be doing? 

**You**

YOU

**Shim Chwang**

All right. That’s it. I’m texting Ryeowook. 

He’s a million times more coherent and I don’t need to squint at horrid textspeak

**You**

NO

ME

ME

ME

ME

ME

ME

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**Shim Chwang**

Okay FINE. STOP IT. FINE. 

The hell? 

I’m texting you! I’m texting you right now!

**You**

GOOD

wat did u want to say

**Shim Chwang**

Q, you LUNATIC. 

I only wanted to ask if this is going to work!

**You**

oh

duhhhhhhhhh

lol soz

**Shim Chwang**

You’re a LUNATIC.

**You**

u love me

and yes

It’ll work

trust me

piece of cake

strawberry cake

Cake crumbs so its easier to bait, uknow

Hehehe

**Shim Chwang**

You’re a lunatic. 

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Sooman, Lee <sooman.lee[ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

Cc: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Re: Under Armour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

Hi seongsaeng-nim, Uknow-hyung,

Please see attached the revised skins from Ryeowook and I for the UA winter app proposal. 

I’ve also included a code package so we can do UAT on the spot to take Under Armour through, if you feel that should be part of our first round presentation. 

When Ryeowook and I were skinning, we were discussing a more premium look and feel to elevate UA. 

**@yunho.jung **We wanted to run this by you. Since you and seongsaeng-nim are taking creative point, do you think we should pull in a suit with fashion background, to help sell the experience?

The app‘s AR-to-offline experience you’re having us work on actually isn’t something Ryeowook and I have sold to clients before. 

Ryeowook did some extra desktop research and we found out in Korea, this is something that’s still burgeoning because people tend to do tactical e-commerce when they use AR. 

It bodes well for us! But having a suit to our pitch team might help sell it more.

What do you think?

Seongsaeng-nim you too?

Let us know! Just a thought. We know just who to recommend for this. 

Thank you,

Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun Cho | Lead Architect | SM Enterprises Ltd

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org) > ; Sooman, Lee <sooman.lee [ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> 

Cc: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: Under Armour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

Hi Kyu,

That’s really above and beyond. ✌

Thanks so much for putting in the effort!

Can I go a step further and ask you and Ryeowook run me through the UAT? I can do tomorrow breakfast if you boys don’t mind coming in earlier. I’ve got some backlog of stuff to clear. 

Regarding the suit,

I’m game for whatever that helps us push this through, 😅😅😅😅

Seongseongnim? What do you think? 

I hope you boys don’t have BoA in mind. I did ask her to be the face of UA pitch, but she said if she drives any more big pitches on my behalf, she won’t be able to do any work. 🤣

Thanks!! 

Yun.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Sooman, Lee <sooman.lee[ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

Cc: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: Under Armour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

Hi Uknow-hyung, 

Close, but not quite. ^^

Ryeowook and I discussed and we’ll like to pull Max in, if it’s all right with both of you.

We’ve done work with Max on WYM (Uknow-hyung, this was before you rejoined the agency) for a winter menswear collection campaign before, and he’s got great O2O ideas.

Tomorrow breakfast is all right with us! We’ll go ask one of the UX interns to book the Summer Dream conference room. That one’s got the wall-to-wall LED display unit with the best colours. 

Thank you,

Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun Cho | Lead Architect | SM Enterprises Ltd

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org) > ; Sooman, Lee <sooman.lee [ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)> 

Cc: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: Under Armour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

Hi Kyu,

Great suggestion! But I know Max is really busy. Don’t want to inconvenience him too much!

What about Minseok? 🤔🤔🤔🤔 I know Max’s trained him very well!

Thanks,

Yun. 

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Sooman, Lee <sooman.lee[ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

Cc: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: Under Armour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

Hi Uknow-hyung,

Don’t worry about it. Max is the perfect senior suit for this. 

We already floated it by him when we met up outside of work.^^

He’s fine and eager to sink his teeth in.^^

I’ll ask him to pop by. Uknow-hyung, are you good to catch Max up? 

\--

From: Sooman, Lee <sooman.lee[ @sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

Cc: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: Under Armour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

Max is one of BoA’s, yes? The one that just grew that fashion house we have on retainer? 

Well done, Kyuhyun.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Fw:Re: UnderArmour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

Operation Strawberry Harvest is a go.

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Fw:Re: UnderArmour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

You need to stop playing those military strategy games. 

How did you know seongsaeng-nim would say yes, anyway? 

Changminnie’s not close to him.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Fw:Re: UnderArmour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

r u kidding me

rmb what BoA joked about in last year’s EOY Christmas DND?

The Sooman has been trying to get her to release Chwang to him for pitches

for the longest time but she was being precious about it 

bc she didn’t want Chwang to throw his letter bc overwork

No?? 

did i hallucinate 

\-- 

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Fw:Re: UnderArmour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

Don’t ask me. 

Last Christmas was a blur because of the 40% flaming liquor shit you smuggled in…

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Fw:Re: UnderArmour App Co-creation Pitch -- APP R1

the one where we made chwang light it on fire

take a pic with the light show 

then do a shot?

good times

\--

From: Max, Shim <[ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re: UnderArmour

Hi Yunho, 

Kyuhyun’s downloaded to me. 

My schedule’s open tomorrow 11am to 2pm for catch ups and discussions on this. 

Shall I pop by your area? 

Best,

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _SENIOR ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

**Jung Yunho SMEnt**

_ last seen XX:XX am_

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**You**

Hey.

I got your email. 

Can we chat? 

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Demystifying the jargon... 
> 
> **Developer vs UX:** When the agency is big enough that the developer lead (recall that Kyuhyun's 'Lead architect' title is but a fancy name for 'senior highly paid developer') and UX lead can work as a pair; typically the UX lead is the more socialised of the two. My developers used to just mumble and slink off, then the PM would be like "WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THEM TALK TO ME".   
**Code and wireframes:** The wireframes show a visual representation of what the webpage/app screen are supposed to look like to a consumer. The code actually makes that happen. It can be done in Java, HTML5, etc etc depending on the system the deliverable is built on.   
**Football game incident**: This is between RL!Flaming Charisma and RL!Shim and has been mentioned on different variety shows over the years, ex. Knowing Brothers, D-cumentary, JP variety. Long story short; Shim played a football mobile game for years and years and even crowed on JP variety that he won over Jung and also; sometimes they quarrel when they play it together (as opposing teams). Fast forward to 2018 and Shim admits he no longer plays it. Reason being that Minho once won against him and crowed about it very rudely. They were playing it at Shim's flat and Shim stood up, left Minho and went into his room. When Minho finally understood that something was wrong, he crept to Shim's master bedroom and opened the door timidly to see Shim in bed, covers over his head. Without removing the covers, Shim told Minho, "I'm ashamed of being seen like this. So go." And thus Minho left.  
And Shim never ever ever played the game ever again. c:  
**Uncompressed MOV**: An extremely large file spec for videos. Typically when videos need to be of broadcast standard (ex. TVC), the finalised videos as well as masters are provided in this spec. Can be anywhere from ~900MB onwards to sometimes 10, 20 GB  
**HTML5** Victoria is referring to HTML5 banners in this case, which should be ~2 to 15 MB at most to make sure the banner ads don't freeze/lag when consumers see it. 2MB vs. 20 GB. You do the math.   
**Aping/copying other competitor brands' campaigns**: Is a big no no in terms of creative integrity, and morally grey...  
**Reshuffling of resources whilst work for a client is ongoing**: Is something that's done. As explained in earlier chapters, everyone's time in the agency costs $$, from the most junior account executive to your most senior folks (ex. Chief creative officer, GM, MD etc). If the brand comes to you with hands spread and say 'i really don't have $$ but i still want to do biz', for the sake of the long term r/s - and uh sometimes maybe bc awards potential- you see how you can streamline in terms of agency resources. A creative team can absolutely learn to think social-first. Most of them already do given how that is our own personal consumer behaviour as well.   
Also, such news should be given by suits, so it was good of Hyukjae to feign memory loss and fling the ball into Minseok's court...  
**"bring you in for a couple of hours"**: Minseok means then the clients will only pay for 1-2h worth of work (low additional cost).   
** KakaoTalk vs Whatsapp vs Telegram **: This is true to my RL; even before the BS scandal, the KR team on the brand I was on was using Whatsapp for work matters and KKT for social matters. Sometimes it would be hilarious; someone will KKT me to say "I've responded to you on WA~" LOL.   
** AR in tactical e-commerce** SK has some pretty fascinating ways with how they're using it in RL! Like walking past a groceries ad at the subway station and being able to use AR and your mobile to refill your groceries and have it delivered to your doorstep.   
**suits and pitch** It's rare for a pitch team to be completely devoid of suits; especially when LSM as senior management on the team would provide a more creative POV (rather than be a suit). Do however suspend your disbelief; in RL a developer, no matter how senior, will not be the one to suggest an addition of a suit resource LOL. Well. In this case KyuWook are doing it out of the goodness of their hearts, bc it's disconcerting to have OA!Shim be all wilted and woebegone. 
> 
> \--
> 
> This chapter was written solely with 평행선 (Loveline) on loop and it shows.  
Double update today. I'm off to format voc where #Changkyu also rules.... plot twist: I am Changkyu.  
/le Jung gives me his Disappointed Leader-nim face
> 
> Comments are love! x


	11. Trim The Fat

**thekeytomybum** 38m

> <Video of an airy lit cafe with a jungle wall> 

Guys

I can't believe this

So I was going to introduce you guys to this new cafe I found near my office anyway 

It makes the meanest iced americano 

And the giant souffle pancakes are to die for 

But guys

I'm in a booth seat by myself because I wanted to show you guys how pretty the cafe is

Look! The sugar canister is in the shape of a little bear. And the salt and pepper shakers are a lion and a fox.

Seen by 117

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\--

**thekeytomybum **36m

> <Boomerang of a man running his hand through dyed blond hair and shaking his head at the camera> 

My previous IG story was too long

Guess 15s ran out

Anyway GUYS 

I wanted to say 

Here I am quietly minding my business having my iced A during a sneaky afternoon and THEN

I hear voices behind me

OMG

it's one of the Sr. Account Directors and THE Head of Art and ECD from my agency.

And they sound like they're having a private conversation??????? 

It's that pair. 

The ones that fought in that conference room. 

I'm not naming names but

You get me 😏

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\--

**thekeytomybum **35m

> <Boomerang of a man raising his eyebrows at the camera>

Don't hit me 

but

I really wanna eavesdrop 

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 30m

> Should I eavesdrop? 

**HELL YEAH | Key don't be an idiot**

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 29m

[CLOSE FRIENDS] 

Lol a bunch of u in my DM inbox 

Shouting abt privacy

and stalking 

And also Ryeowook-hyung, bribing me with food to get me to do an IG Live??????

WOW 

Anyway guys I thought about it

and i actually like Max

I mean he's always been polite and fair to us junior producers

So here you go

close friends only

Choi Minho 

you can stop emoting via CAPSLOCK in my DMs

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 28m

[CLOSE FRIENDS] 

> <Video is a close up of lion and fox salt-and-pepper shakers with inaudible murmuring in the background>

Wow guys theyre intense

They sound intense

At least from what I can hear

I cant hear them fully bc

Max is so softspoken 

and this is the lowest I've heard Uknow

sorry no audio recording then

They're talking about some emails now????

But it's all weird and odd

Sounds like it's about work but Max just kept going 

"I read it and I felt so ashamed of myself" 

and he keeps laughing

And Uknow just goes "no no no"

And then he laughs too??

It's the 4th time they've been around this

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 25m

[CLOSE FRIENDS] 

> <Video of a man running his hand through his hair again with inaudible murmuring in the background>

Sorry I had to stop my live report bc 

I think they finished their drinks and 

Max stood up to go to the counter 

and he walked past me 

I had to duck really fast behind the menu 

I hope he didn't spot me

Meanwhile Uknow just

Did you guys hear that?

He just called himself an idiot

????

Oh shit Max is coming back 

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 23m

[CLOSE FRIENDS] 

> <Video of the salt and pepper shakers dancing as guided by two hands>

Wow I didn't know that's Max's given name

Did you guys? 

"Changmin"

Max just said "away from work hours I'm fine with you calling me Changmin. It's just that we need to draw the line clearly in the sand. It's Max at work."

That sounds perfectly sensible 

I mean I don't like it when you guys call me Kibum at work either 

Why does Uknow keep laughing????

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 21m

[CLOSE FRIENDS] 

> <Vudeo of a man slumped facedown on the cafe table> 

These guys are weird

Weird and boring

Now they're talking about watching some flash mob?

Uh a flash mob is only fun when you're down there and participating bro

I don't understand why Uknow keeps laughing

Now Max is joining him too

THEY LAUGH TOO MUCH

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 19m

[CLOSE FRIENDS] 

> <Video of a man shaking his fist at camera>

Okay now we're getting somewhere

They just agreed to go out to dinner together on a Friday night?

Whoa is this

Like a

date?????

I'm invested

I'm so invested in this

ITS TOTALLY A DATE

Are they dating??

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 17m

[CLOSE FRIENDS]

> <Boomerang of a man opening and closing his mouth in disbelief>

Now they're talking about work again 

I don't understand

They're going on and on about some AR activation for that pitch

The one for sportswear that I know half of us aren't even supposed to know about

It's that hush hush

Uknow just said something about some onground takeover he's laughing

and now Max is laughing

Why is there so much laughing??

And he

He's saying "look at me breaking my own rules"

???

I don't understand these guys

This is actually quite boring…

WHY DO THEY LAUGH SO MUCH??

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 14m

[CLOSE FRIENDS]

> <Instagram Story Create mode - Rainbow background>

Guys I don't feel like doing this anymore 

They're not talking about anything fun 

Or even punching or shouting at each other

Now they're silent??

I peeked slightly bc I thought they left

But no

Theyre still there

They're just smiling at each other

It's kinda sweet

but maybe also creepy af???

Seen by 18

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 11m

[CLOSE FRIENDS]

> <Instagram Story Create mode- Purple-red background>

I don't even 

So Max just went "Friends?"

And Uknow said "Yes, of course."

?????????????????????????

Friends????

All that nonsense weird laughing shit

Smiling silently at each other 

and

FRIENDS?????

Guys I FEEL CHEATED

SO FRIDAY NIGHT ISN'T A DATE? WHAT??

IM SO CONFUSED

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\--

**thekeytomybum** 5m

[CLOSE FRIENDS]

> <Instagram Story Create mode- GIF of a stick figure flipping a table>

They just left

I'm still here 

I can't

Uknow was like "let me buy you another drink"

And Max was all "oh i'm caffeined out" 

And Uknow went "maybe one of the milkshakes, the strawberry chocolate one is nice!"

And they went to the counter again and maybe they bought that milkshake I dunno 

And they left 

And I

I THOUGHT THEY WERE FUCKING??

WHAT IS THIS FRIENDS SHIT

DO YOU BUY YOUR FRIENDS MILKSHAKES??

WHAT IS THIS?

HIGH SCHOOL?

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\--

**🎮 Kyuline**

_ Q, Ryeong, The Shining Minho, Minseokie, Mi, Victoria Song SMEnt, You _

> 🔒Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Q**

bros and one lady

your attn pls

**Ryeonggu**

Oh, here we go again.

**The Shining Minho**

Yes yes yes! 

I’m looking at my phone! 

Wassup?

**Minseokie**

Kyu-hyung, I’m in the middle of a meeting with Mi………

**You**

?

**Q**

the lady of the hour isn’t answering

Yoohoo

Vic

VIC

Victoria!!!

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

Kyuhyun, if this isn’t something urgent, I swear I will deck you

Some of us actually have to work during working hours, you know

**Q**

omg vic chill plz

its your last week here

take a breather

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

You have five minutes

**Q**

jeez

fine

two words

FAREWELL DRINKSIESSSSSSSS

TONIGHT

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

….

**Q**

Where do you wanna go what do you wanna eat how do you wanna do this

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

....

**Q**

well well well?

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

If it’s meant to be my farewell, shouldn’t it be already planned for me? 

**Q**

er

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

It’s really short notice to ask me out for tonight. What if I already have plans?

**Q**

er

**Ryeong**

Kyu, you’re such a train wreck. 

**Q**

ER

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

😂

I’m joking

I have no plans for tonight.

Yet.

**Q**

HEY

ok fine

what do you want to eat????

we’ll drink to the death!!!!!

  
**You**

Omg Q

Shut the hell up. 

Vic, ignore him. We’ll plan it for you and have everything ready.

Just be packed to go at six sharp tonight, okay?

**Victoria Song SMEnt**

Oh!

Actually I don’t mind planning for my own farewell too!

It’ll be fun!!

**You**

No, don’t worry about it. 

We’ll see everyone at the lobby at 6:01pm today, all right.

\--

**Jung Yunho**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Hey.

**Jung Yunho**

Max! Hi!

😊😊😊

If this is about the activation slides needed for the Shilla deck, give us about 20 minutes.

🙏🏻🙏🏻

Hyukjae just cleared them with me but I wanted a scamp for the pop-up store so he’s gone to whack that out

**You**

Oh, I know. Minseok updated me on the status.

I’m texting as Changmin

**Jung Yunho**

Really! 😲😲

Are you skiving, Mr GAD? 

**You**

My boss said she will let me announce that but she’s told you, huh.

**Jung Yunho**

🤐

_ This message is deleted _

**You **

That was absolutely unnecessary.

**Jung Yunho**

😅

What’s up?

**You**

Are you free tonight?

**Jung Yunho**

For work? Of course of course💪

If you want to hang out though, can we do it over the weekend? 

I need to regroup with your Kyuhyun on UnderArmour 🏃♂️

**You**

He’s not mine. 

Funny you should mention him though, because he wants to do a farewell for Victoria.

**Jung Yunho**

Ah! I was just asking Leeteuk-hyung the other day if anything’s planned for Vic

Say no more

Will be there with bells on

**You**

Grab your art boys too will you?

**Jung Yunho**

Hyuk will be tickled you called him a boy…

😏

**You**

As opposed to girl?

**Jung Yunho**

I’ll let him wrestle you and make you call him hyung himself

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

**You**

He can try.

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Fw:Re: [For review] UnderArmour Co-- APP R2 (Rev)

Kyu, for fuck’s sake, you idiot. 

Did you tell Changminnie that Operation Strawberry Harvest can be conducted tonight?

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Fw:Re: [For review] UnderArmour Co-- APP R2 (Rev)

?

also Ryeonggu, can u not write on top of actual work emails

I had a heart attack bc im like halfway thru tweaking the code &i thought u had more wireframe revs for me wtf

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re: you are an idiot

You’re the one who always abuses the Forward function to send gossipy emails. Hello, pot. 

There, I’ve changed it. 

So? Did you?

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: you are an idiot

bro ok i admit half the time ur my better half in terms of work decisions 

but where is this hate coming from today I don’t understand

what abt tonight?? didn’t my Shim Chwang tell Vic and all the kyuline kiddos that we are meeting 6:01pm tonight??

how is that operation strawberry harvest related

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: you are an idiot

So why did Uknow-hyung himself tell me cheerily “See you tonight! Hope you don’t mind that Max has invited us creatives too” when he came by to ask for updates on UA?

You know that Vic made up her mind to confess to Changminnie tonight, right? Something in the vein of ‘one last go unto the breach’. 

YOU WERE THERE WHEN SHE SAID IT HOW COULD YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN. 

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuyhyun.cho[ @sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: you are an idiot

???????????????????????????

\--

  
  


**Shim Chwang**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

_ [ Missed call XX:XX AM ] _

**You**

BRO PICK UP

WHAT DID YOU DO

OMG CHWANG YOU CLUELESS IDIOT

PICK UP

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re: last night

You were there. Did Victoria really confessed to Max?

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Oh, jeez. Is the grapevine really moving that fast?

Wait, why weren’t you there?

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Don’t be a dick, Hyuk. All you Arts went and didn’t bring us along - don’t start!

So it’s true? She confessed? Agghhhh SMH.

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

?

I’m not confirming nor denying it, but you sound personally invested.

I dunno, I just went along because The Uknow grabbed me. Didn’t know it was a thing or writers had to be dragged along. Come to think of it, there were no writers yesterday, huh…

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

The writers are always forgotten…

Come on, I have fifty thousand won and one drink to the death riding on this.

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Seriously, Hae? Drinking?? Who is this bet with, again?

Don’t call me when you get drunk off your ass on one beer again. 

I’m not even going to comment on the 50k won. 

And give me the lines for Kia first before you sink into your degenerate ways.

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Jongwoon - that creepy developer. LOL

I mean… Victoria has been making puppy eyes after Max for years, it was too delicious to pass up. 

So did she or didn’t she? 

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Why do you need me to confirm the news if you already are hearing things about it?

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Come on man, we won the award for Best Work Spouses last year…. Where is the love??

And I hear conflicting things, so I need an eyewitness account. Come on!

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Tell me what you’ve heard. I’m curious.

The Air Korea girls won’t stop giggling at Uknow-hyung. I’m trying to clear some WYM things with him now and they are kind of creepy because they’re hovering near his alcove and cackling. Is this related?

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

I don’t know. I haven’t talked to them. 

So did Victoria confess?? I heard she did? Then Uknow-hyung was somehow involved?? Then Max rejected her?? There was a watermelon soju thing? Someone told me she cried into the watermelon soju? Another source said she flung the watermelon into Uknow-hyung’s face and laughed? 

Yet another source who heard it from a planner intern who heard it from Sunny who heard it from one of the management(?) who heard it allegedly from walking past BoA and Heechul gossiping that apparently Kyuhyun kissed Max?? 

What? What crack were all of you high on??

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

All true, except that Kyuhyun didn’t kiss Max. Ryeowook did.

And then Max laid one on Uknow-hyung.

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Holy fucking shit

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

What the fuck

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

MAX?? OUR UKNOW? YUNHO-HYUNG?

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Bro you better not be pulling my leg

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

This is serious!!!!

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Stop it with the spamming before the IT department gets alerted by all this activity and decides to pull the transcripts. 

You’re acting like a gossipy ahjumma…. who is dropping her full stops. Shame on you. 

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

BRO IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU!

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

Your reactions kind of are.

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

EXPLAIN. I always thought there was Tension between Max and Yunho-hyung but i didn’t know it was Sexual Tension!!!!!!!!!!!!

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

What is it with you writers and Uppercasing innocent words…

Omg calm down. 

They meant it as a joke to cheer Vic up after she kissed Max on the cheek and got herself rejected over that watermelon soju (very nicely too, if I can add. I always thought he’s a hardass but he’s not too bad. At least he’s a gentleman).

I think Kyuhyun was trying to alleviate the tension when he pecked Ryeowook and said no one tasted as sweet as Victoria. And Ryeowook promptly turned around and laid a big smacking one on Max. Everyone laughed because he informed Vic that she wasn’t missing out much and Max clearly doesn’t know how to kiss.

I don’t know, but maybe it’s because of how competitive Max is? I know that man is competitive at work (he’s a tougher taskmaster than Uknow-hyung sometimes on these new accounts), but I didn’t realise…

Well. 

In any case, because it turned out to be a Round Robin kind of thing, Max turned from Ryeowook to smack one on Uknow-hyung. The problem is that our Uknow-hyung is Competitive too, so they ended up doing a proper snog and no one was laughing by the time it ended.

And Vic burst into tears again.

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

You just made my brain implode. 

Are you still in the session or can we go to the rooftop and just…. Let my brain properly implode and wrap what remains of it around this.

And what does ‘a proper snog’ mean??????????

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

No, bro, I told you. Am working and it’s with Uknow-hyung and he’s flicking irritated glances towards the side at all the giggling because they keep interrupting his feedback to me. 

I think a patented Uknow explosion isn’t far off. So tell all the creative interns to run for cover.

A proper snog means there was tongue.

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

You mean he’s BAU??

After what you just told me??

And there was tongue??

TONGUE?

??

???

???????????????????

\--

From: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

They both are? I bumped into Max at the cafe ‘round the corner while coming in today, and he said hi and bought me an Americano.

\--

From: Donghae, Lee <[ donghae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:donghae.lee@sment.org)>

To: Hyukjae, Lee <[ hyukjae.lee@sment.org ](mailto:hyukjae.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: last night

My brain is still imploding.

\--

**Ryeonggu**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Ryeonggu**

So does it mean the strawberries have been harvested?

**You**

r u kidding? didnt u see the way the 2 of them laughed it off last night? 

i rly didnt need to see how the Chwang tongue looks like down the Uknow throat

im already traumatised enough by U KISSING SHIM CHWANG 

**Ryeonggu**

I was busy trying to make sure Vic didn’t break down or faint, or do both at the same time, so.

No.

**You**

aaaaarghhhhhh WHAT A MESS

thank fuck she only has 2 days left

._______.

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apols for any spelling errors - let me know and I'll fix them. Rushed to put this up.  
Hahahahha 525 kudos whaaaaaat /o\  
I can only say thank you. 
> 
> _Demystifying the jargon_ (although most of the terms should be self-explanatory by now)  
**Operation Strawberry Harvest**: Allegedly ongoing  
**GAD**: Group Account Director (Shim got promoted, although the news isn't out yet and in this author's opinion, the promotion should have been a higher leap, hmmmmm BoAAAAaaaaa)  
**BAU**: Business as Usual  
**Americano**: the national drink of South Korean cafe-goers
> 
> Comments are love x let me know if you spot any errors or encounter jargon you don't understand!  
Now let's hope I have time to update goblin AU bc Sing!Idol might have to skip a week again..........


	12. Formal Alignment Needed

From: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: UA Pitch R3 (O2O)

Hi Max,

Can we regroup this morning on the presentation flow for UA, please?

Was discussing with Ryeowook and the O2O consumer journey might need some work.

-Yun.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re: UA Pitch R3 (O2O)

Hi Yunho,

Sure. 

I don’t think we need to flesh it out down to the mechanics, though. That should be left for post-pitch once -or if- they award us the business. 

I chatted with seongsaeng-nim last Friday; he’s keen for us to go upfront with the revisions and keep the focus on overarching strategy rather than drilling down to the specifics.

Right now the O2O section is 12 slides long. Can we get that cut down to 4, maximum?

Best,

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _GROUP ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

CC: Ryeowook, Kim <ryeowook.kim@sment.org>

Re:Re: UA Pitch R3 (O2O)

Hi Max,

Adding in Ryeowook since he and I just caught up offline. 

Hear you, although the tweaks are more about the avenues where the O2O micro-conversions can be captured. I don’t mind keeping that to a slide - I can just talk it through when we go through the proposal.

Are you free for a huddle at 11am?

-Yun.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

CC: Ryeowook, Kim <[ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>, Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuhyun.cho@sment.org>

Re:Re: UA Pitch R3 (O2O)

Hi Yunho,

_\+ Kyuhyun to keep him in the loop._

Sounds like a plan. 11am is fine. 

Will ask Mark to drop us a calendar invite and get us a room to huddle in. 

Best,

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _GROUP ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

CC: Ryeowook, Kim <[ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>, Kyuhyun, Cho <kyuhyun.cho@sment.org>

Re:Re: UA Pitch R3 (O2O)

It’s fine! We can do it at my desk. The area is quiet today.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Fw:Re:Re: UA Pitch R3 (O2O)

r they BAU

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re:Fw:Re:Re: UA Pitch R3 (O2O)

They are BAU.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re: that’s fucking creepy

they’re fucking creepy. 

how are they BAU?????

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re:Re: that’s fucking creepy

Changminnie and I are BAU too. Are you calling me creepy as well?

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: that’s fucking creepy

yeah but that’s different 

You’ve seen Shim Chwang naked and all you two did yesterday was press your ** _closed mouths _ **against each other

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re:Re: that’s fucking creepy

It actually sounds a lot more scintillating when you put it that way. Wasn’t that post-drinks at the _jjimjilbang_? Everyone saw everyone naked. 

You owe me five thousand won, by the way.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: that’s fucking creepy

yeah thats why it isnt weird 

&&&& fuck u 

u don’t get it call it so soon

give it the whole fucking day!!! I’m sure they’ll be weird

THEY CANT BE BAU

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re:Re: that’s fucking creepy

Look at your ten o’clock. Changminnie’s already at Yunho-hyung’s desk and it’s only 10:57am. 

They’re laughing. It’s BAU.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: that’s fucking creepy

THEY CAN’T BE BAU 

THIS IS RIDICULOUS

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re: can you come over to yunho-hyung’s desk

Looks like your strawberries can’t quite be harvested yet.

You’re just sad that you lost money again.

It’s 11:02am. Come over before Yunho-hyung blows a gasket.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: can you come over to yunho-hyung’s desk

WAIT

I JUST LOOKED AT CHWANG’S EMAIL AGAIN

HE GOT PROMOTED???????????? 

DID YOU KNOW

I DIDN’T KNOW

HOW CAN I NOT KNOW THIS

???????????????????????????????

\--

**Minseokie**

_ online _

> 🔒 Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**You**

What is this I hear about my boss macking on your boss?

**Minseokie**

Mi-hyung!

???

Teuk-hyung-nim went to kiss my boss too????

**You**

Omg

Lol no.

I meant Uknow-hyung.

Errr. I did not need that mental image. 

**Minseokie**

Oh THAT

**You**

Yes THAT. 

Well??

**Minseokie**

Mi-hyung, you and I were trapped in the same meeting last evening.

YoonA was asking me about THAT this morning too, but I told her I didn’t go since you and I were with WYM.

Apparently it turned out to be a Kyuline - Art - Creative Services thing???

You should be asking my boss…

**You**

Your boss is huddled with _my_ boss and Kyu and Ryeonggu on that damned UA pitch and it’s already lunch.

Make them release those two so I can at least dig information out of Kyuhyun, then.

**Minseokie**

Mi-hyung, you of all people should know that if Uknow-hyung and my boss want to work through lunch, probably even Sooman-seongsaeng-nim can’t stop them…

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re: Lunch

You. Me. The Goddess.

Lunch. Now.

H.

\--

From: BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

To: Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Lunch

I’ve made reservations at Tosokchon. Table’s ready in 15.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: BoA, Kwon <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > ; Heechul, Kim < [ heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Lunch 

Hi favourite peoples~~ 🙆🏻

Did we have a lunch appointment that I forgot 🤔🤔🤔

Can’t make it today though. I’m still in the middle of a regroup.

Love,

Yun.

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: Lunch 

Do you take me for an idiot? Your regroup is with your Goddess’ head minion. You’re having lunch with his boss. He’ll understand.

Let’s go. 

  
  


H.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > ; Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Lunch 

Sorry hyung 😢😢😢😢

I really can’t! We have 11 slides to go and I want to hammer this out before this afternoon.

Max and I have a 5pm with seongsaeng-nim. Need to have this shipshape before that.

You two go ahead! 😘😘😘

Love,

Yun. 

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: Lunch 

@yunho.jung The hell?

@boa.kwon Make your head minion release him. 

Tell him you’ll rescind the promotion or something.

Also, you stingy, stingy woman, I think we all know that your head minion is doing things worthy of a junior Business Director by now…

  
  


H.

\--

From: BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

To: Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Lunch

@heechul.kim

Are you crazy? 

I barely got him to stay after that stupid stunt @yunho.jung pulled.

Thank god there was Paris.

Of course I can’t promote him to BD right away. I need that carrot for dangling in the following months.

@yunho.jung

You owe me an explanation about the farce I missed last night. 

Tosokchon’s got their new batch of homemade insam-ju ready, come on.

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > ; Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Lunch 

🧐 What about last night?

\--

From: Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

To: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org) > ; BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

Re:Re: Lunch 

Are you serious.

@boa.kwon is he serious. 

\--

From: BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org)> 

To: Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Lunch

@heechul.kim 

He’s on the same floor as you now, yes? 

Just grab him and go. We can fight over this in the cab. 

\--

From: Yunho, Jung <[yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)>

To: BoA, Kwon <[boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > ; Heechul, Kim <[heechul.kim@sment.org ](mailto:heechul.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Lunch 

Sorry 😓😓😓😓

Am I missing something? 

\--

**🌟 Universe Big Stars**

_ Yurrobong, BoA Constrictor, You _

> 🔒Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Okay, I’m not typing this over email because I don’t want IT or HR to come after me.

But WHAT THE FUCK JUNG YUNHO?

**BoA Constrictor**

You’ve done it. 

I can’t remember the last time when Heechul called you by your name.

**You**

I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU

**BoA Constrictor**

10 more minutes to our reservation.

Don’t make me have to call them to hold our table.

I’ll make Max to do it, I swear.

**Yurrobong**

Guys

😰😰😰

What’s wrong? You’re making my phone buzz nonstop

_ @BoA Constrictor _ Don’t, Max is busy enough. But I really can’t make it today.

**You**

WOW

_ @BoA Constrictor _YOU WIN

How do you do it.

**Yurrobong**

Hyung, sorry, I am so confused…

**BoA Constrictor**

Breathe _ @You _

**You**

YOU TONGUED FUCKED MAX SHIM CHANGMIN LAST NIGHT 

AND NOW IN THE COLD LIGHT OF THE DAY

ARE YOU DENYING IT FROM YOUR REALITY? _ @Yurrobong _

**Yurrobong**

_ [ Missed call XX:XX PM ] _

**BoA Constrictor**

_ @You _ 🤯💥🎆

**Yurrobong**

!!

Hyung, why did you do that??

Max is just next to me 

I think he saw your message

**You**

GOOD

**BoA Constrictor**

**😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂**

**\--**

**@UKYH__**

> <Top down shot of a low-slung table laden with a huge bowl of gingseng chicken soup, pancakes and liquor bracketed by three pairs of hands>
> 
> **UKYH__ **Stuffed 😭😭😭😭 #withfriendslikethis #whenyoustartoutbeinginterrogated #gossiptoshoptalk #tosokchon #worklunch #agency #creativelife #officeantics
> 
> Liked by **changmin88** and ** 968 others**
> 
> _ View all 462 comments _
> 
> **boaconstrictor** You should have posted the wefie!!
> 
> **s.hojoon** #FOMO 
> 
> **dindindindin28** godddd that looks so good

\--

**BoA Constrictor **

_ online _

> 🔒 Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info. 

**You**

Do you believe him?

**BoA Constrictor**

Are we actually texting about him while he’s right next to us?

**You**

Yeah.

Idgaf anymore.

So you do believe him?

**BoA Constrictor **

Which part are you referring to?

The “I am so so so busy" shtick? The too loud laughter when you asked him about Max? The continuous “I was helping a friend in need” denials? The shifty eyes when you threatened to sic Hojoon on him?

**You**

E V E R Y T H I N G

**BoA Constrictor**

I believe him that he sincerely thought he was doing Max a favour last night.

Also, I can see his phone from here. He’s emailing Max. 

**You**

WTF you don’t understand.

I WAS THERE. 

I SAT RIGHT OPPOSITE THEM.

IT WAS SO FUCKING UNNECESSARY YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

IT WAS SO

IT WASN’T LIKE 

LIKE YOUR SHIM HAD DIFFICULTY BREATHING AND NEEDED THE KISS OF LIFE

ONE DOESN’T DO PEOPLE FAVOURS LIKE THAT.

MORE IMPORTANTLY 

ONE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE THAT WHILE ONE IS DOING PEOPLE FAVOURS LIKE THAT. 

**BoA Constrictor**

Control your face, will you?

You’re capslocking on Whatsapp and that’s kind of reflected in your expression right now. 

Stop it before he looks up. 

**You**

He’s too fucking busy text-fucking your minion.

He’s not going to look up.

**BoA Constrictor**

Actually, it looks like he’s editing slides off of a Google Presentation…

**You**

Yeah, that your minion emailed him about.

Like

WTF

What happened to your minion’s prissy “for minor things pls go to my boys”???

Didn’t you give him more work with this promotion?

**BoA Constrictor**

I think you and I both know Max’s capabilities.

**You**

Yeah whatever

I don’t want to talk about his capabilities.

I want to talk about the fact that his tongue was down Yurrobong’s throat last night.

**BoA Constrictor**

Didn’t you say this morning that it was the other way round?

**You**

SEMANTICS

BOTH THEIR TONGUES WERE DOWN EACH OTHER’S THROATS LAST NIGHT

**BoA Constrictor**

At the same time? 

Seems a bit anatomically impossible.

**You**

Kwon BoA.

**BoA Constrictor**

Sorry! You made it easy. 

\--

From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re: Hyukjae’s hours

Hi Max,

Can we have a quick chat about Hyukjae’s hours?

Notice he’s clocking a lot less on your brands. 

Thanks,

Teuk.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

Re:Re: Hyukjae’s hours

Hi Leeteuk,

Sure. Meet you 15 minutes later at the pantry?

If this is about WOOYOUNGMI and HERA, the prior campaigns have wrapped up and we are still in the strategic phase for 2020 plans. 

It’s mostly Sunny’s show, although she’s been pulling Mi in to workshop some Big Idea concepts and manifestos for consumer research.

Best,

Max.

MAX **SHIM** | SM ENTERPRISES LTD

** _GROUP ACCOUNT DIRECTOR_ **

T: +82 XX XXXX XXXX | M: +82 (010)-XXX-XXXX

E: [ max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)

\--

From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Hyukjae’s hours

Noted. Thanks for sharing. 

No need to do a f2f then. 

Guess I was confused because I heard Yunho’s been pulled in for them.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

Re:Re: Hyukjae’s hours

Minseok’s only looped Yunho in purely for scamping out the overarching brand visual refresh for HERA. That’s materials meant for consumer testing.

\--

From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Hyukjae’s hours

Thanks. Just please do keep in mind that our alignment still stands, Hyukjae should be fronting the visual execution work for the regional fashion and beauty brands.

\--

From: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

To: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

Re: Yunho

That’s correct. Once the strategy is locked, I’m sure Yunho will debrief Hyukjae. 

You’ll have to check in with him on that. 

If I remember correctly, Hyukjae is working on The Shilla’s upcoming shoot with Minseok. 

FYI for visibility and just so you’re in the loop, 

I am working with Yunho on the UnderArmour pitch since we’ve passed into R3. 

\--

From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Max, Shim <[max.shim@sment.org ](mailto:max.shim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Yunho

Noted. Thanks for sharing. 

\--

**Jung Yunho**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Jung Yunho**

Changdol! It’s Friday evening and it’s 6:45pm.

🍲🤤🍽️

**You**

I know you didn’t text me just to report on the time.

I’m literally two desks away from you. You could have walked over.

**Jung Yunho**

Yes, but you’re with Kyuhyun talking about Zombie Strike now, right?

I don’t want to give him an aneurysm

🙈🙈🙈🙈

**You**

So you noticed it too?

**Jung Yunho**

That our friends and colleagues have been very jumpy all week whenever you and I have f2f regroups about work?

Yeah. A blind man would have seen it.

**You**

I feel like we are in a circus. 

**Jung Yunho**

More like we’re the circus

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

**You**

Are you the bearded lady or the strong man?

**Jung Yunho**

Neither. 

I’m Dumbo the elephant

🐘

**You**

Lol!

Is that a dig against me?

**Jung Yunho**

Well, you did lose your temper and call me a fucking dumbo in front of Hyukjae…

**You**

I stand by it.

**Jung Yunho**

It’s Friday evening, let’s agree to disagree. 🕺💪

Although - You should have said it to my face and not to Hyukjae

He looked terrified. 

**You**

Really?

He was fine with me.

**Jung Yunho**

You’ve been buying him Americanos

He’s not going to show anything in front of you because - free coffee.

**You**

Lol! 

It’s not like a cuppa costs much and we keep bumping into each other at the cafe downstairs...

**Jung Yunho**

Word of advice - he likes half-shot skinny vanilla lattes more

**You**

Like you said it. It’s free coffee. 

He can take it or leave it.

**Jung Yunho**

Just a suggestion……

🙊

So you’re ready to go?

**You**

Let me finish up with Q and fob him off.

He’s asking me to get meat with him and Ryeong.

**Jung Yunho**

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Is that some deviant sex orgy thing all of you indulge in? 

Is what Kyuline is really about?

🤔

**You**

Barbecued meat. Galbi. 

**Jung Yunho**

OH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

Oops

😅😅😅😅

**You**

You do realise that of all people, the above is what others think I am doing with you?

**Jung Yunho**

HAHAHAHAH don’t get me started.

The amount of times I’ve had to say “we are friends” since last week

Why did I help you make a girl cry why why why

😱😱😱😱😱😱

Anyway. That’s why I’m texting you instead of going over? 

**You**

You’re actually using your brain for matters outside of work. 

Shocking.

Although I’m grateful. At least you weren’t laughing at my panic like Q was.

**Jung Yunho**

You have lethal puppy 🐶 eyes. 

Do NOT use them on me ever again 😔😔😔

**You**

If your boys don’t start making more of an effort to send things over to _ my _boys on time...

**Jung Yunho**

😱

🤐

**You**

Am done.

Ready to go?

**Jung Yunho**

Do you want to meet at the next block?

**You**

?

**Jung Yunho**

I mean, I’m up for repeating “we’re friends” again 

but Heechul-hyung is slowly but surely drifting towards my desk

and it’s quite funny how he’s so obvious in staring at you, looking at the SK interns, then turning towards my desk…

**You**

Ha! 

No thanks. 

You can handle him. He’s your cross to bear.

Q’s still badgering me about dinner. He’s convinced I’m meeting you.

**Jung Yunho**

Well, he’s not wrong………………

**You**

He’s also convinced it’s a booty call.

**Jung Yunho**

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

“WE ARE FRIENDS”

Ok!! I’ve sneaked out.

Let down your hair Rapunzel! 

Climb fast~~~! Your public awaits~

👸🧗🏰

**You**

You say the oddest things, friend.

See you at the next block. Ten minutes.

I drove to work today. Be prepared to be picked up.

**Jung Yunho**

Ooooooh I think there’s a Pretty Woman joke I can make here somewhere.

🤔💭🤔💭🤔💭🤔💭🤔💭🤔💭

But I’m not quite sure what it is.

**You**

>____>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so toothrottingly sweet, my teeth ache.
> 
> \-- 
> 
> _Demystifying the jargon..._  
**O2O**: offline-to-online  
**BAU**: Business As Usual  
**Tosokchon**: They have some of the best samgyetang and are situated in a little preserved historical house - I don't actually know if they're still in business, though...  
**Group Account Director**: One rank below 'Business Director' (BD), and two ranks below BoA.... SHIM IS UNDERPROMOTED KWON-NIM  
**#FOMO**: # Fear Of Missing Out  
**Big Idea**: Your overarching concept on a brand/campaign level and the objective you are trying to push through to the consumer. Can be written in manifesto form.  
**consumer testing**: Shit a brand should do up front to ensure their campaigns are for the people, by the people...  
**Pretty Woman**: Back when Richard Gere was Really Hot. 
> 
> I am three scenes away from completing #officeantics. AHHHHHHHH--
> 
> Comments are love. x


	13. Circling Back

**85-room (5)**

\-- Sunday, XXX XX, 20XX --

**Shinhyun**

<URL: m.app.melon.com/CharliePuth/WeDon’tTalkAnym/gj6v>

<Preview: Charlie Puth - We Don't Talk Anymore (feat. Selena Gomez) [Official Video]>

<sticker>

:(

:((

Y_Y

**Jungin**

We just had coffee at 85st yesterday evening!

**Jungsub**

Obviously that’s not meant for you, Jungin

Hyun is sick of your face if he has to see you on the weekend as well

**Shinhyun**

Yeah, it’s kind of a nightmare to look at

ㅋㅋㅋ

**Jungin**

Wow

**Shinhyun**

<URL: [ www.instagram.com/UKYH___/dk4kgjVb33 ](http://www.instagram.com/UKYH___/dk4kgjVb33)>

<Preview: UKYH__ Stuffed…>

You work with these people and eat with them too?

We’re not even worth a meal these days? 

Do you still remember me?

Do I still know you?

Are we but strangers, passing each other in the night?

<sticker>

<sticker>

**Hojoon**

요TL

Dramatic much

Stop giving us writers a bad name

**Jungin**

( O //////_////// o )

**You **

Oh!! 

Hyun, I miss you too...

<sticker>

Do you want to come join us? 

Hojoon-hyung and I are at Coffee Friends

Seocho-dong!

**Jungin**

!!!

**Hojoon**

ㅎ

Busted.

**Jungsub**

………… oㅅ'ㅗ

**Shinhyun**

SON HOJOON!

**Hojoon**

What?

**Shinhyun**

I see you Mondays to Fridays, 9am to well into the night every week.

You couldn’t have mentioned you’re meeting Yunho?

**Jungsub**

He doesn’t want to share his Uknow time

**You**

Guys…

**Hojoon**

What? 

It’s an impromptu thing.

He just texted me this morning.

**Shinhyun**

Just you?

Why is it you?

Yunho-yah, you love me more than you do Hojoon, remember?

Our love is commemorated in the Leeum Museum--

It’s in every corner of our Gwangju Creates exhibition!

**Hojoon**

In case you have amnesia, I have had a hand in that exhibition too.

**Shinhyun**

Flapping your lips at the press!

Yunho and I poured our heart mind and soul into crafting the visual-aural retelling of the Gwangju spirit!!

**Hojoon**

Once more, in case you have amnesia…

I am also your boss. 

**Shinhyun**

Oh, right.

**You**

(^ w ^ ;;;;)

**Jungin**

Hey, fight over me, Hyun

I’M your Art partner 

**Jungsub**

Bit hard to do that when he doesn’t have competition

**Hojoon**

#burn

\--

**Yun**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Yun**

You didn’t finish your spiel

**You**

Why are we texting each other from across the table?

**Yun**

Because Shinhyun is here and the other two are on the way

And I really wanted to finish our conversation?

**You**

You mean you really want to know what I think about this thing you have with Shim Changmin. 

And you don’t want the others to know.

**Yun**

Tomato, To-mah-to…

And there’s no thing. You know that. :(

**You**

Sometimes I really marvel at how everyone thinks you’re this sweet innocent creature brimming with passion when you’re actually just an asshole.

**Yun**

🤫

Don’t tell

**You**

Asshole.

Lift your hand and wave.

**Yun**

Why? 

**You**

I can see Jungin walking in from the window.

LOL.

You could have looked up from your phone _ and _waved, you know. 

Now Hyun is looking at you funny for having your face practically glued to your phone.

He’ll throw a fit if he knows you’re texting me right now. 

**Yun**

It’s okay

Watch me

**You**

It’s disgusting how you pat him on the head and I can practically see flowers blooming around his face when he gushes at you…

**Yun**

😇 I’m special that way

**You**

Special needs, perhaps.

I pity that Shim Changmin.

**Yun**

Hey!

I told you, he can hold his own against me

I’m the one who just sounds stupid around him 24/7 😔

**You**

Yun, you know this whole friends thing you two have going on is bullshit, right?

**Yun**

Hyung, we’re not bullshit. 

:(

**You**

I didn’t say you two are bullshit

I said this whole “friends” thing is bullshit.

Stop lying to yourself. 

**Yun**

Okay, it sounds like Heechul-hyung got to you too…

**You**

Don’t get me started. 

Heechul-hyung and I aren’t close, but he actually called me to shout about this.

According to him, you weren’t even supposed to be there? 

You broke him during that drinks gathering you all had for that girl.

Scratch that.

I think you broke a lot of people.

**Yun**

> ____<

It was a spur of the moment thing. 

**You**

Right. 

Back to my point. 

Friends don’t do that to friends.

He is not your friend. **You **don’t want him to be your friend. 

**Yun**

It was a favour! 

you don’t know how intense that Vic is, okay

apparently she’s been after Changmin for years and years 

and he’s been trying to let her down easy and keep his distance but still be nice 

and they had to work together

Changmin had these big deer-in-the-headlights eyes going on

they’re lethal, hyung

he’s got these really big eyes and they’re normally already huge but then it was just like

his eyes were begging

You haven’t seen them before but they’re just… weapons 

I’ll take a picture next time

It’s like 😲

Like O_____O 

and she was just staring and 

she actually looked hopeful even after one of his best friends already tried the same thing… So

**You**

Look at you go.

Wasn’t this what he had called you out on, though?

Trying to solve his problems for him.

**Yun**

It’s not the same

I didn’t presume… He was the one who asked for help. 

**You**

Did he?

**Yun **

He did.

He really did.

I’m not going to make the same mistake again. 

**You**

Well, you just proved my point.

**Yun**

What?

**You**

That this whole “friends” thing is bullshit. 

You’re not treating him like a friend, Jung-ssi.

You should see your face right now. 

You’re grinning your face off at your phone and Jungsub is getting suspicious. 

He keeps angling himself to try and read your phone from over your shoulder.

**Yun**

My screen contrast is set at its dimmest. 

And I’ve never said I wanted to treat him like a friend.

But we **are **friends. 

It’s nice, being friends with him.

**You**

I want to puke from all this lovey dovey positive “bromance” feeling schweelings. 

요TL

I rest my case. 

**Yun**

Hyung, I would make out with you too just to help you avoid being confessed to by someone you’ve been trying to reject for years and years.

**You**

Are you sure?

**Yun**

…

Maybe?

If you really disliked that person.

And you chewed some mint gum before hand. 

And if we weren’t eating strong flavours at the meal.

And if I was really, really drunk?

**You**

And therein lies the difference. 

For the record, I would have socked you in the gut, then used the “ah, Yun really can’t hold his alcohol, have to see him home” excuse to avoid said confession.

\--

“Hi, this is Shim Changmin. Please leave a message after the tone. Thanks!”

“Beep.” 

“Chwang! Why do you have voicemail? Does anyone still use voicemail? Pick up! I tried you on Katalk Voice and Whatsapp Call and rang you directly. Why aren’t you picking up! I know you’re in the bui-”

\--

“Hi, this is Shim Changmin. Please leave a message after the tone. Thanks!”

“Beep.” 

“The hell? How long is this thing for? Whatever. Pick up, Mister Group Account Director! That’s right… I know you got promoted. How could you have kept this from me! I had to read it the same time a-”

\--

“Hi, this is Shim Changmin. Please leave a message after the tone. Thanks!”

“Beep.” 

“This is really annoying. What’s the point of such a short time limit for voicemail recordings? They cut you off when you’re not even done with your greetings yet. Anyway! What was I trying to get at is-”

\--

“Hi, this is Shim Changmin. Please leave a message after the tone. Thanks!”

“Beep.” 

“What the fuck? Anyway! Ryeonggu says he’ll feed you good beef and even better wine. We need to celebrate this properly. Tonight? I’ll forgive you for not letting me be the first to know. Minho just texted-”

\--

“Hi, this is Shim Changmin. Please leave a message after the tone. Unless you’re Kyuhyun, then please don’t.”

“Beep.” 

“Bro, wow, thanks much. Feel the love. So you’re listening to these? If you have time to change your voicemail thing, you have time to respond. Don’t think I won’t come over just because your boss has crazy eyes-”

\--

**Favourite Best Friend**

_ online _

> 🔒 Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Favourite Best Friend**

I’ve confiscated Kyu’s phone, by the way.

You’re welcome.

**You**

Thank you.

Are you really feeding me tonight, or is he just raving as usual?

**Favourite Best Friend**

Of course I am.

I have beef short ribs marinating since the morning.

**You**

You’re the best.

😘

**Favourite Best Friend **

**Of course** I am.

**You**

I drove today. Let’s leave at a quarter past six?

**Favourite Best Friend**

Sure. 

If you okay my wireframe tweaks, we can go anytime.

That’s a very broad hint, by the way.

**You**

I saw them, I did see them!  
I went into the Google slides after lunch. They look fine.

Yunho’s fine with them too?

**Favourite Best Friend**

**Of course** he is. 

He briefed those changes.

**You**

Right, right. 

So quarter past six?

**Favourite Best Friend**

I’ll be waiting by the curb downstairs with my lesser half.

**You**

You **are **the best. 

**Favourite Best Friend**

Out of curiosity though…

Are you in a hothouse session? 

Or just in a super long meeting?

Or an off-site.

**You**

God, no.

I’m working in the pantry on Broadcast’s floor.

**Favourite Best Friend**

?

**You**

The interns on my floor kept giggling at the sight of my face.

It’s too distracting and I can’t scold them all.

**Favourite Best Friend**

-_______-

**You**

Minseok knows I’m here, because we needed to talk HERA. 

But I told him to fake confusion if anyone else asks where I am and direct them all to my inbox. 

**Favourite Best Friend**

Huh.

Well. 

Should have thought of that before you decided to suck face with SM’s golden boy creative at a gathering with work folks...

**You**

Ryeong, of all people… **You **sucked my face too.

**Favourite Best Friend**

Er, no. 

The part of our faces that we humans use to partake of nutrition barely brushed against each other. I certainly did **not **insert anything into you nor vice versa. 

**You**

That just sounds super lewd and wrong!

**Favourite Best Friend**

Also, I believe in my own abilities, but I’m not SM’s golden boy… 

**You**

Keep that up and I’ll change your name in my phone.

**Favourite Best Friend**

Why?

What do you have me stored under?

**You**

_ [ Picture sent XX:XX PM ] _

**Favourite Best Friend**

_ [ ↪ Picture sent XX:XX PM ] _

I’m shutting up. 

I know I’m your favourite. I knew it.

I win.

**You**

(;

\--

**Choi Siwon SMEnt**

_ online _

> 🔒 Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Choi Siwon SMEnt**

Hi Changmin, do you have time for a chat?

**\--**

**@changmin88**

> <Empty wine, soju and beer bottles lined up in a row>
> 
> **changmin88** With friends like these, indeed. #Kyuline #ThanksMyMen @ryeonggu @gyucode88
> 
> Liked by **@UKYH___ **and **65 others **
> 
> _View all 27 comments _
> 
> **ryeonggu** Congratulations! Now you owe me grilled steak. <3 
> 
> **changmin88 **_@ryeonggu _Call! I’ll make it with the ice wine you like so much. 
> 
> **gyucode88** _@ryeonggu @changmin88 _Can the two of you stop flirting please, it’s weird

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re: they have matching IG captions

do u realise???

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re:Re: they have matching IG captions

Kyu, you’re obsessed.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: they have matching IG captions

no but its there

ITS RIGHT THERE

LOOK AT IT 

AND TELL ME 

TELL ME THEY DONT HAVE MATCHING IG CAPTIONS

I DARE U

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re:Re: they have matching IG captions

They do have matching IG captions. So?

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: they have matching IG captions

WAT DO U MEAN SO

THIS FRIENDS THING IS FUCKING NONSENSE

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re:Re: they have matching IG captions

You know it.

I know it.

They refuse to admit it. 

So?

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: they have matching IG captions

how can you be so calm about this

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re:Re: they have matching IG captions

Because I’m not as invested in witnessing Operation Strawberry Harvest as you are.

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: they have matching IG captions

You don’t understand. 

During that Paris month they were both like zombies staggering around.

well Chwang couldn’t stagger in front of me physically, but you get my drift

we had to feed him and walk him with tacos, remember???

&&&&&& now it’s all coy 

“we’re friends” 

“oh yes having lunch with yunho” 

“oh Q is that thumbdrive for UA ill pass it to yunho” 

“but we are friends” 

do you know they hang out on weekends?????????????????

Shim Chwang was talking about some modern art show Uknow dragged him to last Saturday!

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re: Calm down.

Friends hang out on weekends.

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Fw:Re: Calm down.

I sit just next to you, you know. I can see you slamming your face against the keyboard, and the only loser in this is your forehead. 

\--

From: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Fw:Re: Calm down

its not like i enjoy this ok

I JUST WANT THEM TO ADMIT IT BECAUSE ITS SUCH A BAREFACED LIE

I CANNOT

I JUST

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Kyuhyun, Cho <[ kyuhyun.cho@sment.org ](mailto:kyuhyun.cho@sment.org)>

Re:Fw:Re: Calm down

They say they’re friends, but their actions say something else. So why not just enjoy the dog-and-pony show they put on for us?

Like you’re fond of loudly demonstrating, they’re not precisely fooling you. Or the rest of us.

Let them be. Just because they say they don’t sell strawberries doesn’t mean your strawberries aren’t being harvested. They’re just putting it in the strawberry larder for their own private use.

\--

From: Mark, Lee <[ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org)>

To: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

Re: Kyuhyun-hyung

Hi Ryeowook-hyung,

I didn’t know if I should ping you or HR on this, but Kyuhyun-hyung’s kind of not doing so good.

I just tried to have a UAT with him for Zombie Strike and he keeps spacing out and he looks really pale.

I’ve been prodding him but there’s not much of a response and he’s just in a corner of the conference room now, muttering. I think he’s talking about strawberries, but he’s also mumbling so it’s a bit hard to hear.

Is he okay? Did he come to work ill?

Regards,

Mark.

\--

From: Ryeowook, Kim <[ ryeowook.kim@sment.org ](mailto:ryeowook.kim@sment.org)>

To: Mark, Lee <[ mark.lee@sment.org ](mailto:mark.lee@sment.org)>

Re:Re: Kyuhyun-hyung

Hello Mark!

Thanks for the update. Did you manage to get your UAT up and going? I can ask a junior developer to help take over too if this is time-sensitive. 

Don’t worry about Kyuhyun - his blood sugar is probably low. That’s why he keeps talking about strawberries. They’re sweet for him, you see.

It’s all right! Just leave him there. I’ll be by to collect him in a bit. 

Thanks,

Ryeowook.

\--

  
  


From: Leeteuk, Park <leeteuk.park@sment.org>

To: Soo Man, Lee <[ sooman.lee@sment.org ](mailto:sooman.lee@sment.org) > ; So Young, Nam <soyoung.nam@sment.org> ; <Young Min, Kim < [ youngmin.kim@sment.org ](mailto:youngmin.kim@sment.org)> 

CC: BoA, Kwon, <[ boa.kwon@sment.org ](mailto:boa.kwon@sment.org) > ; Ho Dong, Kang < [ hodong.kang@sment.org ](mailto:hodong.kang@sment.org) > ; Yunho, Jung < [ yunho.jung@sment.org ](mailto:yunho.jung@sment.org)> 

Re: [CONFIDENTIAL] Personnel Changes for FY2020

Hi all,

Per our discussion earlier in the morning, to offset the strain on certain resources within the agency, there will be a slight change in structure to help streamline creative output and faster turnaround for client briefs. 

it’s noted that the creative teams in the Content & Activation unit will be dissolved to join the wider creative department. The dedicated creator and videographer resources will be absorbed by Broadcast to form a Production department also overseeing existing hires. 

The resource shifts will be effective from the commencement of the new calendar month.

Thanks,

Leeteuk.

\--

**Changdol**

_ online _

> 🔒 Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Changdol**

Jung.

**You**

whoa 

okay wait 

I see you typing

before you say anything

I have no part in the decision made to dissolve the Content and Activation team.

No part at all whatsoever!

**Changdol**

And yet you knew what I was going to ask….

**You**

uhhhhhh it’s kind of The News today

the grapevine sure works fast

I only got the email myself ten minutes ago.

**Changdol**

There was an email?

My boss texted me.

**You**

I think I’m only on it because some of the social creatives are joining my teams and management wanted to make sure I don’t ask “Who are you?” 

Okay so.

Let me just say it very clearly

IT WASN’T MEEEEEE.

😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

**Changdol**

Lol!

**You**

It was not me.

I swear.

I swear I swear I swear I swear I swear it wasn’t me.

**Changdol**

But you can’t deny that you’re happy hearing the news that Siwon got fired.

**You**

Well I wouldn’t say happy

**Changdol**

Really.

**You**

er

If I have to be absolutely truthful

I’m relieved that in a week, I don’t need to work around what has been a frankly trying obstacle in the creative ideation process?

**Changdol**

Ouch.

**You**

Hey, you asked

**Changdol**

Yes, well… 

**You**

🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷

**Changdol**

Fine, fine.

Dinner?

**You**

Rain check? 

I have to go through this LG PPM with some junior suits and I think we’ll take more than an hour. One of them doesn’t even know how to write a contact report

🤯

**Changdol**

Lol! 

Wait.

This is for the fridge line we won?

**You**

Yeahhhhh can you ask BoA to give that account to you instead

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

**Changdol**

Yes, well, I saw the fee projection for that when we were pitching.

They can’t afford me.

**You**

Minseok? 

What about Minseok

Can’t they at least afford half of him

He can replace all three of these suits I currently have

**Changdol**

Nice to hear that I’m replaceable…

**You**

I would say something cheesy but I don’t want to be beaten up.

I’m still traumatised from paintball last Sunday. 😭😭

**Changdol**

Smart. ^^

Re: dinner; I’m still in a tissue session myself. 

**You**

When’s that done?

**Changdol**

We still have 2 Big Ideas to go through.

Maybe a quarter to eight, eight the latest?

**You**

Oh okay! Let’s meet at 8:15pm? 

There’s a pocha near my place with the best hotteok.

Are you driving today?

**Changdol**

Nah, there was too much of a traffic jam in the morning.

I took the subway.

**You**

No worries, I drove today - pick you up later?

**Changdol **

The usual corner next block yes?

**You**

👍👍👍

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still riding a high on actually completing #OA on my Googledocs! LOL. 
> 
> Question - if there is a loose continuation (er not quite sequel), will this or voc au (aka Sing! Idol) be more preferred? Also, will it be better to crowdsource prompts or dig up a set of challenge prompts from somewhere and write off of that?
> 
> Let me know in the comments. It's something I've been thinking of for weeks but I can't come to an agreement with myself, so... 
> 
> \-- 
> 
> Demystifying the jargon:  
(not much because everyone gave up the pretense of working except for Mark and Leeteuk hahahahah)  
**Operation Strawberry Harvest**: Allegedly all in Kyu's head.  
**UAT**: User Acceptance Testing; last phase of testing before an app or software is rolled out to consumers.  
**People being laid off/transferred at the event of an agency restructure**: Unforch quite common so.... #BAU. Although usually everyone scrambles to prove their worth, but in the event you have a person who's of no strategic value to the agency- well, that person will be asked to resign (a polite way of saying "hi you're fired").  
**Contact reports**: If you're an AE, you better fucking well know how to write them. You've got the first three months of your probation to fuck things up. Post that... nope.  
**pocha**: drinking places even more awesome than clubs in korea.


	14. Net-Net Summary

#  **ESQUIRE KOREA**

`Cover Feature [September issue]`   
`esquirekorea.co.kr/coverft/sep/20XX/oa15xv`

* * *

#  **Uknow Jung Yunho? **

` interview by Tak Haekmoon.  
XX September, 20XX `

* * *

It’s Friday afternoon, almost teetering into evening, and I’m in Gangnam. That’s typical. 

What’s unusual is that I’m in Gangnam and yet not chained to my desk in the Esquire office. _[Editor’s note: this is an entirely voluntary act.]_ Instead, I’m out and about in a sleepy little neighbourhood. Nonhyeon, where I am currently dithering in, is more suited to the suburbs on the outskirts of Seoul than glitzy Gangnam. I’m also fairly certain I’m lost. 

Ten minutes. That’s the amount of time I’ve been lurking outside an elementary school, which is nine minutes too long for an adult not towing a miniature human by hand. The school’s security guard, sheltered in his cozy little outpost from the summer heat, looks torn between calling 119 and just being plain entertained at the sight of me spinning around to hunt for street signs. 

Scurrying over, I explain the reason for my suspicious tarrying. Hearing that I’m lost flips him entirely over to the realm of amusement. He even deigns to walk me to my destination, a cafe at a grand distance of across the street and a little ways down. It’s hidden halfway in a sheltered nook, which explains how I overlooked it in my frenzied loitering.

I enter the cafe with a glance at my watch. It’s a quarter to four, and I breathe a sigh of relief that I’m early after all, and can prepare for the interview I’ll be conducting.

All thoughts fly out of my head when I’m directed by a smiling attendant to my interviewee, who’s seated at a twee little table tucked away at the bay window. 

“Hello,” he says, visibly impressed. He’s got an arm around a gigantic teddy bear that he appears to be sharing an iced Americano with. “You’re early!”

“You’re earlier,” I reply, nonplussed and sun-struck. And rude. I start to apologise, but he waves me off, laughing. 

"Well, I just finished a shoot at three, so I came by earlier for a perk-me-up." He says, by way of explanation, and stands up. We shake hands.

“Call me Yunho,” he offers, when I ask if I should address him as Mister Jung or Uknow or whichever to his preference. 

I'm used to looking at men in the eye, in the comfort of my stilettos; in the office, at press conferences, in green rooms. With Jung on his feet, I have to tilt my head back to sustain eye contact. In addition to him being a head taller than most people I've met, it doesn't help that I've got trainers on today, in lieu of navigating unfamiliar terrain. 

"Get you a drink?" He asks. The rest of him is dressed in smart casual. A linen jacket is paired with a thin striped cotton shirt in deference of the August sunshine. Jeans that end in a pair of sleek black trainers finish the look.

[ _ ` Right: Jung Yunho enjoys an afternoon out and about in Prada and Saint Laurent. Photographed by Hwang Shiwon.` _ ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETn_eCUU8AAgGB2?format=jpg&name=medium)

"Sit, sit," he insists, after I make noises about ordering and paying my own. After all, I've got a company card and it's precisely made for such expenses. It's only one coffee.

"Yeah, it's only one coffee," is the smiling refutation. I'm guided into my seat gently, and managed. 

Five minutes later, I'm being served an iced mocha. A slice of strawberry tart ("Do you want iced coffee? Yeah? Awesome. Oh cool, I like mochas too. They have the best desserts. What do you want to try? Me? I recommend the strawberry.") is also laid out in front of me. 

Jung is once again back across me, arm slung again around the teddy bear, whose head is twice the size of his. “This is Wilson,” he says, tugging the stuffed bear into a headlock. “I like to let him give me hugs when work gets _ exciting_.” 

The statement itself is patently ridiculous, but somehow I find myself smiling in response. 

It's precisely this mix of infectious charisma and bubbly charm with an edge of self-deprecation that led to my subject, commonly known as Jung Yunho to the public and as Uknow in certain circles, getting picked by Under Armour Korea. He is, for the next year, to be the face of their menswear, over run-of-the-mill celebrities and influencers.

"Uknow's got this passion about the important things in life that lines up perfectly with our brand values," Under Armour's Park Myungsoo, VP of Marketing, North Asia, shares. "He's so focused and he possesses this genuine, down-to-earth desire and energy to educate and just to _help_, that it was just a no-brainer to have him come on board in such a capacity. We're more than just a sportswear brand, just like how he's more than a creative."

Park is, of course, referring to the fact that Jung is executive creative director and Head of Art at award-winning ad juggernaut SM Enterprises, where he has also helmed critically acclaimed advertising campaigns for the past two years. One such brand under his care is -as it turns out- Under Armour.

_ `[Left(top and bottom): Jung Yunho wearing Samsung Galaxy Watch Under Armour edition](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETn9i1jUYAIrs97?format=jpg&name=medium) [and Under Armour's UA HOVR Phantom RN running shoes. Photographed by Hwang Shiwon.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETn5oXfU4AApQ0J?format=jpg&name=large)` _

Jung laughs when I bring that up. "Yeah, about that! I'm still not sure if they were just crimping on fees. When your creative is your influencer, and all the doubling up, y'know."

He's quick to point out he's joking, and likely not being very witty (his words), while also soliciting my opinion on my mocha.

It's delicious and just the thing to help combat summer, I inform him.

Jokes aside, Jung has also released a public statement about stepping back as the creative brain behind UA's future campaigns 'in order to avoid conflict of interest'.

When I ask Jung about it, his reply is unaffected and honest, and a bit of a ramble. Patented Uknow, as I'll come to understand by the time our session ends. "I mean, I don't want to muddy the waters, y'know? We've -SM- got a great team on this, folks who've done the heavy lifting and helped shape the amazing work in the past campaigns we’ve done for the brand. It wasn't all me then and it won't be all me moving forward.”

He pauses, and gives his drink a shake. His eyes are intent on the ice cubes rattling around in the glass. “I'll rather take a step back, in that case. Since UA's reached out for me to work with them in this expanded function, I'm honoured, and willing to do so. But I don't want to take anything away from the team. They were fantastic and they're going to be fantastic and I want their work to shine without any nonsense about their work only running because it's got me on it, y'know? God, that sounds egotistical, doesn't it."

It's not, I assure him. He's protective of his people, and it's understandable. 

His laugh is rueful, and he shakes his head.

I'm urged to enjoy my tart, and I comply.

He opens his mouth, but I'm starting to get a grasp on this man. The tart is lovely, crisp and chilled with a tinge of sweetness; and I share so preemptively.

"I'm glad," he says, pleased and oddly enough, with a slightly possessive air. I find out after we leave the cafe that it's owned by Noh Shinhyun, who also doubles up as a senior copywriter at 85Club, a boutique agency that Jung had founded a few years ago with celebrated copy-based creative director Son Hojoon.

It explains his attitude. More of Jung's people. 

"Anyway," he continues, after another long drink of his iced Americano. "It isn't like I won't be involved at all. I can't share much now. There are non-disclosure agreements and whatnot, but there _are_ a couple of things in the pipeline. I'm not a celebrity, and this isn't a typical celebrity endorsement. If this is an endorsement, UA could have gone for plenty of better-known and better-looking faces. Ah, this thing is bitter."

I open my mouth to counter, because I'm sure the readers will concur: Jung is not exactly hard on the eyes, with his ready grin, twinkling gaze and tall build. My attention is instead arrested by the comically aghast face he makes at his drink.

"You're not a fan of Americanos?" I venture.

"Not usually," he smiles. Again, the curve of it is more than a little self-mocking. "My sweet tooth is too developed for that. But I'm also coming off of a forty-hour shoot, so I need the caffeine."

Forty hours? Protesting, I offer that we could have rescheduled. 

The shake of his head is quick and decisive. Again, patented Uknow. "Of course not! This shoot was something that was slotted in at short notice. We've got this interview arranged for weeks. And you've got deadlines. I work in an industry that thrives on deadlines too, remember? I understand the importance of them, although my suits will beg to differ." 

He laughs again. It's clear it's a bit of a private joke for him, and he says as much to me.

“Sorry,” he is chortling a little. I assure him that there’s no offence taken, although I can’t tamp down my curiosity. He had mentioned suits, and it did not sound like he was talking about formal menswear. 

_ `Lower left: Jung Yuno with team members Max Shim, Kim Minseok, Lee Hyukjae, Zhou Mi, Sunny Lee, Choi Minho at Cannes Lions 20XX accepting an award for their WOOYOUNGMI campaign F/W 20XX. Editorial photo c/o SM Enterprises.` _

“Ah,” he says, “You’ve watched_ Mad Men, _I presume?”

I have, as a matter of fact, and am a fan of Christina Hendricks’ Joan in the show. Jung’s real-life reputation in the industry is however, a lot shinier and cleaner than the fictional Don Draper’s.

He’s been publicly connected with less women, for one. Rumour has it that he is married to his job.

So far, rumour seems to be founded in fact. Forty hours!

“I didn’t finish the first season. Too much to do at mine and the people in the show work too little,” he explains cheerily. I am invited, seeing how I am familiar with the show, to “think Pete Campbell” apropos of 'suits'.

At the slight wrinkling of my nose, his smile blooms into a laugh again. He puts down his iced Americano. It’s still half-full. “But smarter and sharper, and more principled, and less sleazy. More efficient.”

It sounds like he’s describing a person rather than a department, and I say as such.

“No, no,” he’s leaning forward. His fingers drum a beat at the glass. “There’s an entire team of them, although of course I work in closer contact with one, or two senior ones. Generally our suits are a hardworking sort. The good ones are amazing. They have to handle and _ be _so many things. Jack and master of all trades. I’ll be lost without them.”

For all that their work is of a different function to his, clearly these are also team members that come under Jung’s definition of ‘his people’. 

“In fact,” he says, relaxing back into Wilson the teddy bear’s embrace, “if you can believe it, the reason why I’m even dressed like this today. You can thank a suit for it.”

Jung has, in recent years, achieved something of a niche, cult status amongst the younger generation. They familiarise themselves with his professional work and even things he dabbles on the side (in what little spare time he has), such as the successor to his experiential exhibit some years ago: _ Gwangju Ideates_. 

He’s got a rather respectable following on Instagram, where he hunkers down to post anything from carefully sanitised behind-the-scenes looks at his work in Instagram Stories, to curated feed posts for campaign launches and artsy quirky shots of the people in his life. 

It’s on Twitter, however, where his fans congregate, and organise themselves into relatively neat circles. One such circle likes to collate pictures of Jung out and about Seoul, in candids taken by curious passers-by, when they do recognise him. 

“Oh God, you saw those,” he covers his face with a hand, but he doesn’t look terribly irked.

His snort, if anything, is fond. “I think half of them are of me in gigantic spectacles and a beanie and I look like a homeless man. Not that there’s anything wrong with the actual homeless, but you get me.”

I am still valiantly driving at my point. It is that the other half of the photos tend to show him in sharp, spiffy outfits, typically in tailored three-piece (this is turning out to be the word of the hour) suits. 

My point falls through. I have made his, instead. 

_ `Blurb: Jung Yunho with team members Max Shim, Sunny Lee at the APAC Effies 20XX. Editorial photo c/o SM Enterprises.` _

“Yeah,” he spreads his hands, triumphant. “There you go. Those are probably of me heading to actual meetings, being in actual adult work clothing because I was forced into them by a suit. They can be terribly strict.”

I finish my mocha in reluctant disbelief, and think of _ Mad Men _ again. “You’re a creative,” I say out loud, conciliatory whilst scraping my plate clean of strawberry tart crumbs. One with such a huge list of awards tagged to his professional name that an interviewer will hesitate on choosing just one to ask about first.

“A real-life one, and not one on TV with an entire costume department backing him,” Jung laughs, eyes crinkling. “Usually I’m a mess. I just throw on what’s clean and go to work. There’s just no time! My job is to come up with ideas, not win Best Dressed awards.”

No time indeed. For someone as time-starved as Jung Yunho, sitting in a cafe drinking coffee at four in the afternoon seems to be rather out-of-character. No sooner had that thought occurred to me than he put rest to it. 

He casts an eye at my plate and lets Wilson the teddy bear go. Inquires if I’ll like a refill, or another dessert, to which I decline.

His iced Americano sits in a little puddle of gathered condensation, still. Its owner is restless by comparison. “Shall we?”

Jung’s all but bouncing on the balls of his feet. When we had first connected over email to work out the kinks and logistics of this interview session, he had mentioned he’s amenable to us conducting the chat over a couple of places just so we can keep moving. 

He’s clearly eager to do so now, and I wonder if I had touched on anything sensitive in my earlier line of questioning, for it to come to such an abrupt end.

We exit the cafe, and he has got his phone out. He flicks to the Maps function, and holds it out to me, screen-first. “We’re headed to the bowling alley I frequent,” he shares, “it’s about ten minutes by foot. Or will you prefer it if we take a cab?”

Nonhyeon might be sleepy, but it’s still in Gangnam. We share a quick little shudder at the thought of the Friday evening traffic, and I assure him that I’m good to walk.

I’ve got good walking shoes on, I respond, and point at my feet.

“That’s true,” he is dutiful in admiring my shoes, and we set off. 

He begs my pardon barely thirty seconds in, and asks to check his emails. It’s Friday evening, so everyone’s likely to get in the last spurt of work productivity in before they head off for drinks and the weekend. He’ll just look at the time-sensitive ones, and answer those. What a workaholic.

Go ahead, I wave at him, as long as he still keeps an eye to the pavement and doesn’t lead us into a tree or the Han River. 

“I can take this path blindfolded,” he raises an eyebrow, but the effect is ruined when he can’t hold a straight face. I’m too busy trying to compensate for his longer stride with more steps on my end.

He’s quick and discreet about his emails, a flick here, a bit of tapping there. I catch a glimpse of him swiping through WhatsApp, a grin and then he pockets his phone. 

“Where were we?” To his question, I share that there are two possible answers. We are still in the middle of the walk, although we had left the conversation topic of sartorial choices behind in the cafe. 

“Ah, yes, so I’m dressed well today to meet you,” not quite a shift back to that topic, given how final and like a closing statement this sounds. 

I take the hint. We’re approaching the bowling alley anyway. The sign for it is visible from where we are. 

[ _ `Centre: Jung Yunho celebrates a strike against Esquire columnist Tak Haek-moon. Jung is wearing Under Armour’s Men’s UA Project Rock Brahma Plate T-Shirt and Unstoppable Tapered Pants with Men's UA Project Rock 2 Training Shoes. Photographed by Hwang Shiwon.` _ ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETn5oWhU0AAw6lt?format=jpg&name=large)

Not for long, I remind him. My photographer is meeting us here; between the rounds of bowling and after, Jung will have to complete what he is really here for today - an editorial shoot with outfit changes, as well as the continuation of the actual interview. 

“That’s fine. It’s not like we can beat that forty-hour-long monster I just came out from,” Jung grins, and checks out house balls (for us), and house shoes (for me).

I am surprised that he does not have his own bespoke ball. It was rather evident during our email discussion that he is pretty serious about bowling.

“It’s a bit of a stress reliever,” he admits. “Helps also that I have friends that are still willing to come play with me. I tend to be a sore player- either a sore winner or a sore loser. So I get a kick out of winning over people with bespoke balls, with a house ball.”

I pause. That is indeed, quite a bit of an unnecessary move.

My hesitation makes him chuckle.

“You can just say it,” he says cheerfully. “I’m an asshole. All my friends who still have the patience to play me say it. And I’m going to win against you too. With a house ball.” 

The last time I had played bowling was in my university days. I have no doubts this man will massacre me. It will be like taking candy from a baby. 

We get to the alley, and do our own preparations. Mine consists of changing my trainers for the house shoes, swiping blindly with a polishing rag at the ball I am supposed to toss, and going through the rest of the interview questions in my head. 

Jung is a lot more methodical in his, and I continue, keen to understand more of the man behind all the accolades. 

“I’m actually a boring person,” he shares, as he wipes down his house ball. His is a lurid shade of acid green pink, while mine is magenta and yellow. “Ch- Friends always say I’m a workaholic, so I haven’t got a lot of spare time.”

His scant spare time is also devoted to matters that still hit rather close to work. Examples include doing up pro bono advertising materials for Korean animal rights organisation CARE, as well as developing and now marketing the newly launched _ Gwangju Ideates,_ which is a travelling exhibition currently making its stop at the Seoul Museum of Art. 

My recitation of his extracurricular activities makes him demur, and fumble verbally; but his hands and stance are steady.

He bowls. The pink-and-green monstrosity hurtles down the lane and slams into nine pins.

[ _ `Blurb: Jung Yunho bowls wearing Under Armour’s UA HOVR Phantom RN running shoes. Photographed by Hwang Shiwon.` _ ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETn5oW1VAAEoRuP?format=jpg&name=large)

His brows draw together.

Every line of him stills. 

I’ve clearly been forgotten. He bowls his second roll, and blows out an audible breath when the ball knocks down the sole remaining pin.

“Your turn,” he says, easy smiles again, as I get up with trepidation.

I bowl a gutter ball. No surprises there.

“Focus,” he chides, and then bowls another spare for his second frame. I get another gutter ball. The massacre has started.

He relaxes enough to chat while wiping down his houseball for the third round. “_Gwangju Ideates _ is a bit of a pet project, to be honest. Back when Hojoon-hyung and I did _ Gwangju Creates_, it didn’t even start out as something tangible. Because 85Club was an agency we set up to kind of give a more positive learning environment to young creatives, we wanted to also have a targeted portfolio. And the arts, culture was something the founding members have very strong beliefs in. _ Creates _was supposed to be a strategic visual exercise that we came up with for the larger team; to build an offline and onground activation to market awareness of Gwangju, and the Gwangju spirit. Samsung’s Leeum Museum was our client then, and they got wind of it, and it somehow snowballed from there.”

Jung caps off his monologue with a flourish, and bowls a strike. Still in the bowling position, he raps his shoe-clad left toe against the polished wood in two loud raps, and pumps his fist into the air. 

It’s my turn. I go, and bowl down a feebly respectable three pins. 

Jung is kind enough to help me with the positioning of my hand on the house ball, but even under his tutelage, I bowl down a scant two pins. 

“_Creates _ did well, and I’d left 85Club then to head back to SM, so that took a backseat for a while, and I was just a silent shareholder.” He elaborates, back to polishing his house ball. “Then there was that acquisition thing going on- till today I still can’t quite grasp the details, and we talk really often anyway, Hojoon-hyung and I.”

He’s talking, of course, about how SM Enterprises currently holds a respectable twenty percent stake in 85Club after the boutique agency went public last year.

Jung bowls another strike, but this one is almost careless in its execution. The affectionate grin on his face is instead for longtime writing partner Son Hojoon, creative director and partner at 85Club, and who is also widely known in the ad circles as Jung’s best friend. “Over one such dinner at a _ pocha_, because I was going to introduce- because we were waiting for someone, we just started talking and jamming, and _ Gwangju Ideates _ was born.”

Jung, I realise, likes to downplay his own efforts while simultaneously hyping that put in by others. It’s also evident in the next few frames of bowling, where I try my hardest not to bowl gutter balls, and succeed in a very loose definition of the word. Averaging about five pins per frame, my score is modest at best and pitiful at worst. 

Not the way he tells it. He’s beaming, as he cheers me on for “trying my best”, even whilst he checks himself after each strike or spare every round. Of his own results, he makes no mention except breathing out hard exhales and a few more ringing foot raps upon each strike.

The game closes. Match to Jung, of course. Again, no surprises there.

[ _ `Blurb: Jung Yunho on the streets of Gangnam in Alexander McQueen. Photographed by Hwang Shiwon.` _ ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETn9i1jU0AY4dcQ?format=jpg&name=medium)

All that self-effacing charm may seem almost disingenuous. Except that, again, Jung exudes it almost unconsciously. It seems as natural as breathing, for him to be proud of my paltry efforts whilst at the same time, dismiss his own high sores reflected on the bulky old television screen in the corner. 

“What do you mean?” His disbelief is rather diverting to witness. It features a fierce scowl wreathing his face and spread hands and arms akimbo at his hips. “You haven’t bowled in ten years. That score is very well done! I’m an asshole about winning, but I’m not _ that _much of an asshole to deny your efforts.”

Perhaps that is what adds a layer of authenticity to the self-deprecating grins; the willingness to call himself names.

It’s actually hard work and hard-earned effort, he shares with me. We wrap out our bowling game and exit, for our next destination. He’s bringing me to “a space that’s very special to me,” he says. “It’s kind of like my creative space and I’ve gotten many an idea while seated at the tables there.” 

We’re still trotting along on foot. The sun is setting. 

“Working in this industry, you get indulged,” he muses, as we wind our way up a slight incline, and turn into a busier street. It’s not yet Yeoksam’s level of frenetic energy, but the streets are bustling compared to sleepy Nonhyeon. “Basic decency and integrity are waved away in the face of talent. I won’t mince words. I know I have some talent, and as a younger creative and a younger man, I took advantage. I was an overbearing asshole. Now I’m still an asshole, but a slightly more self-aware one, who tries to be better. I’m one of the luckier ones. Important people in my life don’t hesitate to call me out.”

“I’m grateful,” he continues, looking left, and right; before cupping a gentlemanly hand at my elbow. Gentlemanly, in that his hand hovers a good two inches away from me and never does make actual physical contact. “I never want to be that privileged old man creative up on an ivory tower, shaking my fist at the sky and howling about how rude youth are these days. And then the youth just raise their eyebrows and livestream the rude old man getting shouty by himself with his blinkers on, and over nothing. Nope. Don’t want to be that ’boomer.”

We cross the road. Belatedly, he realises his stride is too long that I have to take multiple steps to keep up, and apologises. I wave him off, and venture that in his industry, there must be a constant fight to stay relevant. 

“There is,” he agrees, steering us into a left turn. The buildings are a lot shorter here, with little winding alleys between them. We slip between two, into a snaking little walkway that does not accommodate anything beyond single-file passage. “A lot of the more experienced creatives -my seniors- have this non-stop, niggling fear of being supplanted by someone younger, more talented, more in touch with the consumers. I feel it’s more of an internal fight than anything else. Nothing’s stopping you from trying out new things, keeping abreast of the new ‘woke’ trends Generation Z push into virality every couple of days. Just our own stubbornness.”

We duck in between slanted overhangs, and arrive at our final destination. I am surprised, but then I shouldn’t be. Jung’s been nothing but surprising so far.

_ `Bottom: Jung Yunho enjoys a hotteok at a pojangmacha. Photographed by Hwang Shiwon.` _

We’ve come to a _ pojangmacha_, a tilting little stall synonymous with Seoul’s street food culture and better known as its shortened form, _ pocha_.

This particular stall is a favourite of Jung’s, by virtue of its extensive menu and how it is sat at an equidistant point to both his workplace and his home. The latter of which will have its address withheld from me, is his cheeky aside to me. It’s also in this particular pocha that Son Hojoon and he worked out the bare bones of the concept that will evolve into the dazzling_ Gwangju Ideates _exhibit we see today. 

A curious thing happens then. We sit, and the _ ajumma _ on duty calls out a cheery hello to him in _ banmal. _She admonishes him for not being back for the grand total of two days. He shows me the menu, but he’s already rattling out dishes to noises of approval from her.

“You’ll see, the _ hotteok _ here is amazing, and the _ soondae _ as well,” he is chattering to me. Then for a split second, he stills, eyes sharp and away from our table. I am reminded of the Jung Yunho in the bowling alley only a while ago, laser-focused on the hapless pins.

The moment passes. Instead the biggest grin I’ve seen all afternoon crosses his face, and he waves at a new customer who’s just ducked into the stall.

It’s a man, tall and lanky and unlike Jung, in a proper suit despite the August heat. 

“Sorry, that’s my colleague, do you mind if I pop over to say hi?” Jung wants to know. He is the most animated I’ve seen him, and so far our conversation is not exactly sedate. “I’ve got some stuff I’ll like to huddle on quickly with him.”

I acquiesce, but I am also a journalist, and we are nosy creatures. He must see the intrigue on my face, because he looks towards his colleague. A series of complicated looking raised eyebrows, widened eyes, truncated hand gestures ensues between the two of them. It is rather fascinating to witness.

_ `Bottom Centre: Jung Yunho with team members Max Shim, Im YoonA, Kim Ryeowook at Mobile Marketing Association’s 20XX APAC Smarties Awards. Editorial photo c/o SM Enterprises.` _

The exchange ends with him beckoning the erstwhile colleague over. The grin is still on his face. It isn’t echoed by the other, who looks understandably wary as he comes to a stop next to our table.

Jung makes the necessary introductions, and then I get my answer as to why I keep glancing towards the newcomer, nagged by a dawning sense of familiarity. His is a face I have seen before in the set of editorial photos provided to Esquire’s entertainment team, and on Naver Search in frequent relation to Jung, where I spent the first day in research upon kicking off this assignment.

“We can talk about _[redacted due to P&C matters for SM Enterprises’ active clients]_ later, Uknow-ssi,” the man whom Jung hails as Max Shim says, an eye on me. “You are in the middle of an interview and it is rude to excuse yourself.”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” I say, and to give them some privacy, I head over to sort out the utensils, and wait for the piping hot servings of _ hotteok _ the _ pocha ajumma _ is dishing up. The other dishes will be sent our way when they're done. I’m also provided with a bottle of _ soju_, two glasses, and a large decanter of iced barley tea. Compliments of the chef.

By the time I come back to the table, Jung is waving a napkin where he’s scribbled a diagram on, and Shim looks amused and long-suffering more than anything else.

Shim is also leaving. Jung's colleague offers a quick bow to me, before heading over to my prior spot in front of the _ ajumma_. I eye him as he collects his order, ducking beneath the plastic flap, before returning my attention to Jung.

It is only later that my photographer shares with me an image she had captured of this particular exchange, and I view it with reluctant yet frank feminine admiration. The magical hour of dusk, a rickety table, two well-dressed men intent on a serious discussion at a table with the fading light diffused from one side. One casual, the other proper. Almost worthy of being a film poster. 

[ _ `Side: Jung Yunho in discussion with agency colleague Max Shim at a` _ ` pojangmacha.` _ ` Rights permission was sought of and offered by Mister Shim for this specific image. Photographed by Hwang Shiwon.` _ ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETn5Au7UcAAox47?format=jpg&name=large)

“Sorry,” Jung is saying, eyes bright. He looks perked up after a quick and vigorous discussion of office matters, as a workaholic should. “We’ve got some time-sensitive things going, near to product launch dates and all. It was better for me to do a quick face-to-face with Max for something he needed, rather than play email tag, y’know? No offence! I know that was rude.”

None taken, I assure him. Although this does give me leave to ask my final question before we dig into our dinner. The grilled _soondae_ smells amazing, and my mouth is watering. Before that however, “why Uknow?”

That gets a laugh out of him; more of an extended giggle. He looks absolutely pleased with himself. “Oh, that. I was wondering when you’ll ask about that.”

I admit that I’ve heard stories about the origin of his curious nickname turned professional epithet. But I have got the horse right here, and it is always better to hear it from the horse’s mouth. 

“There’s nothing much to this story,” his voice is low, almost conspiratorial. “It’s a bit dumb, really. I don’t know if you realise, but I’ve got a bad habit of tacking on ‘you know’ at the end of my sentences. I try to curb myself, so it’s less now. It used to happen a lot more often. Because the sound of it is quite similar to my actual name, a close colleague started calling me that, and almost everyone followed suit. Since it became a nickname I was known for, I decided to use it for professional reasons. When you have the branding growing and taking a life of its own, it’s better to hijack it properly so you can harness it for your own purposes.”

I am not convinced. It’s a non-story, an almost silly anecdote that can be used to bridge silences at parties. Given how Shim had addressed him as ‘Uknow’ earlier, I fish if he was the colleague in question that birthed the nickname?

Somehow my questioning makes Jung cackle again. “No,” he snorts, and stretches out a hand for the barley tea. The _ soju _ is mine, becauses he is not good with alcohol, and plans to head back to the agency to work on a presentation after our chat. That requires him to keep his head clear. “This is before Max’s time. It was one of my Creative Service directors, from years ago. Was that too boring of me? Will it help if I share that it was my gaming ID for a while, before I got too busy with work to game? Eat, eat.”

Sighing, I dig in. For a boring workaholic, at least he’s got good taste in street food. #

_ ` An earlier version of this article was published in the September 20XX issue of Esquire Korea.  ` _

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Coding noob even after CSS class years ago  
also Me: So about the HTML that AO3 allows....  
/cue rabbit hole for the better part of an afternoon/
> 
> I swear I wrote this before the GQ Korea x Under Armour feature was even announced. Three people can attest to it that this was vomited out in early March. But! Talk about serendipitous timing. You're invited to think of those GQ pictures as the ones featured in this Esquire article within this little universe...  
#PPLchapter #UAshouldpaymelol #notsponsored #justalabouroflove
> 
> I ask that you suspend your disbelief for said article's contents. If a journalist in real life had deviated to talk about some random bloody passer-by (cough) in a cover feature, she'd have been fired.
> 
> Research for this was basically me reading Esquire, Vanity Fair and Harper Bazaar cover features until my eyes crossed.  
**Credit: All photos/pictures used do not belong to me and are only utilised here for non-monetary purposes.**
> 
> Thank you for everyone's responses on voc & this in the last chapter! If you have any prompts (one word or a phrase), feel free to toss them here for #oa and over @ voc if it's voc-related. &&&& If there's any one of you who are Art-based/a graphic designer and doesn't mind doing Instagram posts mockups (just one)- ping me!
> 
> Comments are love. x


	15. Final Approval

**@esquire·korea**

> <Esquire Korea’s September cover and Features Highlights>
> 
> Liked by **changmin88 ** and **10,163 others**
> 
> **esquire·korea** Uknow Jung Yunho? Meet Under Armour Korea’s (@underarmourkr_) newest spokesperson. He’s more than just a pretty face. #esquire #esquirekorea #coverfeature #creativesofkorea #gwangjuideates
> 
> _ View all 85 comments _
> 
> **s.hojoon** _@UKYH____ 👍
> 
> **leeSM_52** Well done, Yunho! 
> 
> **zhou.mi** 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

\--

**Q **

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Q**

lol bro wtf

u went to like the IG post

working hard i c

**You**

Q, as usual--

I know I say this too much, but. 

What the fuck are you on about now?

**Q**

rude

that IG post u dimwit

esquire kr!!

**You**

Dimwit is a new one. 

Which Esquire post?

**Q**

…

**You**

Oh, wait. The write up for Yunho? 

**Q**

well at least u dont play dumb

**You**

Lol! What is there to play dumb about?

**Q**

bro

bestie

**You**

I can feel a Q rant coming my way.

**Q**

bro

BRO

my man Shim Chwang

B R O 

my best boi

the fuck you on??

wait

u liked the post but

u didnt actually read it right

omf this is hilarious

**You**

Q, we’re at work. I don’t have time for gossip, let alone read.

**Q**

wow mr bigshot business director

way to break a man’s heart

ur “friend” is coverboy for one of the more respectable magz out there

&u call it gozz

does he know wat a hardhearted bitch u r

wow 

**You**

Can you get to your point? 

I assume there is a point to this…

I have a consumer testing call with UA in five minutes.

**Q**

funny u shld mention under armour

considering how ur in their “newest spokesperson”s cover feature in esquire

**You**

**What **are you talking about?

**Q**

esquirekorea.co.kr/coverfeat/sep/20XX/oa15xv

final page

says there u gave permission for ur pic to be used too

\--

**Changdol**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Changdol**

...Jung.

**You**

uh oh.

🙈🙈🙈🙈

What did I do?

**Changdol**

Why am I in your magazine interview?

**You**

You read it? That’s fast.

**Changdol**

Kyuhyun practically shoved my face into it over text and lunch.

I thought they just wanted a picture!

They only called about **one **picture.

**You**

Yeah, I mean… she had to explain how the picture even came about? 

**Changdol**

So you okayed this draft?

**You**

er

**Changdol**

What am I even talking about.

Of course they had to get your approval before they went to print.

**You**

er

**Changdol**

You don’t see a problem with this?

**You**

Well I felt I was a little nonsensical in the entire article.

😂

But I’m not a writer so

Tak-gija-nim called it ‘a character study of the new tribe of multi-gig workaholics’

Whatever that means…

**Changdol**

That’s not what I am asking!

**You**

🤔

What are you asking then, Max-ssi

**Changdol**

I have a forecast meeting with my boss now so I can’t tear you a new one just at this moment, Uknow-ssi.

Please hold.

**You**

Sure, Max-ssi.

Are we doing dinner tonight? 

I need to go home to feed Taepoong first if we are

🐺🐺🐺🐺

**Changdol**

Your mangy cur is a menace, Uknow-ssi.

**You**

YOU DID NOT MEAN THAT

And you’re such a pot 🍲

Mandoong bit my ankles the last time she saw me!

and AND

Buzzi peed on me!!!!

**Changdol**

At least they know how to feed themselves.

**You**

You have some hipster eco automated biodegradable organic free range thingo food bowl……

just because they knows how to sit and wait 

does not make it know-how

They don’t even shake hands after they eat!

**Changdol**

At least _ my _daughters haven’t ripped their kibble packs apart when there’s a perfectly good filled food bowl right there.

**You**

OH PISH

Taepoongie just gets excited

He can’t help himself

Poor boy is cooped up half the day

😭

**Changdol**

Uh. 

Jung.

And whose fault is that?

**You**

mine

😭😭😭😭😭😭

fine

You can continue telling me how I am a shit dad over dinner today.

**Changdol**

Smooth.

**You**

Thanks, I like to think that too.

**Changdol**

Wow

**You**

😂

Can I leave my car at home today after Taepoong’s evening widdle walksies?

**Changdol**

Please do not use “widdle walksies” ever again, that was disturbing.

You can. I drove today.

Pick you up at 9?

**You**

👍👍👍

\--

"Welcome to BT Conferencing. Please enter your pass-code followed by the hash key."

"Beep beep beep- beep beep beep. Beep."

"After the tone, please record your name followed by your organisation."

"SM Enterprises. Yunho."

"Thank you. There are four participants in the call. Now joining-"

“-really positive publicity. The higher ups are all quite pleased because people who don’t usually keep track of our brand are sitting up and taking notice. Hi, who just joined?”

“Hi. This is Yunho.”

“Man of the hour! Hello, hello.”

“Ah, haha, thank you.”

“We’ve all read Esquire’s latest issue over here in our office. Looking spiffy in there, hmm. Maybe next time our team can pitch to Esquire’s stylist team to dress you up in a complete collection of UnderArmour clothing? Jaeho, make a note on this, please. We’ll take this offline with Myungsoo-hyung-nim.”

“Thank you, I… Hmm. Well, I’m sure something to that effect can be arranged. Esquire might be a one off thing, though. The senior editor for Entertainment wanted to do something different, and he’s an old friend.”

“So modest!” 

“I- haa, no. Sorry, I know I was a bit late. Can I just check who from my team is on the line?”

“Hi, hyung-nim, it’s Minseok on the line.” 

“Zhou Mi and Hyukjae here!”

“Uknow-ssi. This is Max.” 

“Oh, awesome!”

“Yes, yes. Everyone on SM is here. Full attendance, you guys! I must say, I’m impressed… It’s Friday evening. Don’t you ad people have this thing about going for beers on Friday evenings? Burning Fridays, eh?”

“That’s reserved for Fridays when we all know we have to head back to our office to well, burn the midnight oil, Ji Team-leader-nim. Shall we start? I’m conscious you have a hard stop in forty-five minutes.”

“Yes, yes! Our Max-ssi is always so proper and responsible!”

“...”

“If you can share the quals testing results from the rounds earlier last week? We did receive a topline insights summary from your consumer research team.”

“Yes, yes, oh, yes. Jaeho, do you have the deck- yes, ah. Hmm, this, well, Jaeho, do you want to talk through it? I had to run for the stakeholder meeting during the second round of quals, so- yes, yes.”

“Oh, sure. Hi guys, it’s Jaeho here. I’m just going to run through the objective and methods for the quals testing so that we’re all on the same page.”

“Sure.”

“Yup!”

“Okay, cool. We basically had two product concepts up for quals, and we did a half-an-hour long group interview with five participants each, followed by a quick half-an-hour hothouse after. Participants were a sample size of two hundred, with a hundred and twelve men across the age band of twenty-three to fifty one signing up for this, and eighty-eight women across the age band of twenty to forty-eight. On the table for testing, as mentioned, were two product concepts. Product concept number one was the idea of a heavy duty winter wear product line being co-created with a tastemaker influencer. In this case, Yunho. And…” 

\--

From: Mi, Zhou <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

Re: UAaVP

is full of hot air.

I can’t believe he just shoved the debriefing at his minion like this!

If I have to hear another “yes, yes” I will shove a graphic stylus into my ear.

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

To: Zhou Mi <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

Re:Re UAaVP

Hi, Hyuk-hyung. You need to stop this bad habit of snatching Mi-hyung’s laptop and emailing from it. 

Also, he’s fifty-five and _only_ aVP. I don’t think he’s in it for this as anything other than a cushy retirement plan…

Cheers,

Minseok. 

\--

From: Mi, Zhou <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: UAaVP

Wait how did you know it was me?

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

To: Zhou Mi <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

Re:Re UAaVP

Hyuk-hyung,

You dropped the casing for first sentence first letter uppercase in the earlier email. In the last one, you dropped the comma. That’s not something Mi-hyung will do.

Cheers,

Minseok. 

\--

From: Mi, Zhou <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: UAaVP

Urgh. As usual foiled by the anal-retentiveness of copywriters. 

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

To: Zhou Mi <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

Re:Re UAaVP

Hyuk-hyung,

I imagine Mi-hyung is not taking too kindly to that response, if he’s reading over your shoulder.

\--

From: Mi, Zhou <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: UAaVP

Yeah he just punched me really hard in the shoulder. Even his fists are bony, wth.

Are you and your boss not seated together? I wanted to sneak out and go buy a cuppa. This is boring and nothing I can’t read from that one-pager summary. Help me ask him if he wants one if you two are at your floor. 

Or should I just text him?

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

To: Zhou Mi <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

Re:Re UAaVP

Hyuk-hyung, 

We’re adjacent to each other at our individual desks. 

There’s a bit of a dressing down going on at the other side, so we’re both listening in on our earphones and only speaking when required.

I can help you ask him if I get free coffee out of this.

Cheers,

Minseok.

\--

From: Mi, Zhou <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: UAaVP

JUICY! Which team of suits is this! Tell tell tell. 

Omg, little Minseok is all grown up and extorting free coffee out of hardworking and underpaid Art creatives. I’m so proud. Sob.

Fine but you get a latte. Beggars can’t be choosers.

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

To: Zhou Mi <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

Re:Re UAaVP

Hyuk-hyung, 

I think it’s the Hyundai suits team. Can’t see them, so no visual confirmation. I just hear my big boss going on and on and she is maaaaad.

My boss says he’s fine. No need for coffee. He’s too busy texting Uknow-hyung anyway…

Can I still have that latte?

Thanks,

Minseok. 

\--

From: Mi, Zhou <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: UAaVP

Omg. Just for that piece of gozz -the boa constrictor herself yelling????- yes my young Padawan, you still get free coffee.

?? but why is my boss flirting with your boss again over text.

We should create a group chat. Share with the class!!

\--

From: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

To: Zhou Mi <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

Re:Re UAaVP

Hyuk-hyung, 

Actually, from what I saw on his Whatsapp Desktop, my boss is bitching about the UA aVP to your boss. And also about how this call is a waste of time. 

Like you did to me a few emails ago. 

Can I have a skinny vanilla latte then?

Minseok. 

\--

From: Mi, Zhou <[mi.zhou@sment.org ](mailto:mi.zhou@sment.org)>

To: Minseok, Kim <[minseok.kim@sment.org ](mailto:minseok.kim@sment.org)>

Re:Re: UAaVP

You are no fun. 

Boys who are no fun just get plain normal lattes with no flavoured syrup and normal full cream milk. 

\--

**Ryeonggu**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

r we meeting Shim Chwang l8r for evening drinks w the Flaming Charisma?

**Ryeonggu**

I thought Changminnie has a late night to pull?

**You**

O:?

IT’S FRIDAY BURNING FRIDAY

where did u hear this

**Ryeonggu**

I just ran into Uknow.

**You**

ughhhhhhhh

sigh ok i guess if the wife said so then it must be so

he would know the Chwang schedule best yeah…………

**Ryeonggu**

lol! Bitter much. 

You’re just upset that Uknow has supplanted you in Changminnie’s heart as work spouse in these years.

**You**

pls

Shim Chwang was nvr my work spouse

he’s a suit and im a dev 

Also, Shim Chwang in his Max mode is like a fuckin dickwad on steroids

like dickwad SQUARED 

i cannot w him breathing down my shlder like that

YOU r my work spouse but my man Shim Chwang is something special……

man is my bro

MY BRO

**Ryeonggu**

Are you drinking on the job?

**You**

uhhhh Flaming Charisma and I might be pregaming a little rn

a little

a very little

**Ryeonggu**

I wash my hands off of you idiots.

**You**

hey its 545 on a friday evening :c

**Ryeonggu**

Leeteuk is also on the warpath today so I hope the two of you are pregaming somewhere SAFE. 

**You**

fuck ryeonggu why did you jinx me

he just came into Broadcasts pantry 

HE NEVER COMES DOWN HERE WHY

ttyl

\--

**Jung Yunho**

_ online _

> 🔒 Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**Jung Yunho**

I just signed off on the colour proof for the invitations. 

Going into FA now.

**You**

Ok

will leave it to u

**Jung Yunho**

😲

Since when do you chatspeak.

Are you Kyuhyun using Max’s phone?

**You**

txting one handed

in resource meeting w BoA n LT

**Jung Yunho**

OH 

😯

Okay no worries 😊😊😊😊😊

Which invitations do you want to release first then? 

EDM or print?

I’ll do the final sign off and live once the FA is sent to me?

**You**

EDM

ok

\--

From: [ shimchangmin88@gmail.com ](mailto:shimchangmin88@gmail.com)

To: -

Re: You’re invited! 

  
  


You are cordially invited 

to the birthday of 

**SHIM CHANGMIN**

The Habitat

Puntan Dos Amantes, Guam

12 February 20XX

_Five in the evening till late_

All accomodation and flights will be provided.

_ Click to RSVP_

\--

From: [ uknow_YH.gwang@gmail.com ](mailto:uknow_YH.gwang@gmail.com)

To: -

Re: You’re invited! 

You are cordially invited 

to the birthday of 

**JUNG YUNHO**

The Habitat

Puntan Dos Amantes, Guam

12 February 20XX

_Five in the evening till late_

All accomodation and flights will be provided.

_ Click to RSVP _

\--

  
  


**🎮 Kyuline**

_ Q, Ryeong, The Shining Minho, Minseokie, Mi, You _

> 🔒Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**The Shining Minho**

Max-hyung!

You’re paying for all of us to go to Guam???????

WOW!

**Mi**

Minho… If even one person in this chat didn’t receive that EDM…

Are you getting my drift?

**The Shining Minho**

Wait

**Minseokie**

LOL. 

**Q**

what EDM

**Ryeong**

Oh ho!

**Q**

huh no wat

im confused

**You**

I can see your raised eyebrows from all the way over here, Ryeong.

**Ryeong**

Aren’t you at HERA HQ right now?

**You**

Precisely. 

He got the email. He is on the list.

Q, you idiot, check your inbox.

All of you will also receive a physical copy in your mail. Actual mail. 

**Q**

hey wait 

y did u alr start with the name callin

I did!

**You**

Your personal inbox.

**Q**

oh

**Mi**

LOL. Well this will be an amazing plot twist indeed if Kyu is the only one who’s not invited.

And with Kyuline being there… without the Kyuline’s namesake. 

**Q**

where??

_ @You _Chwang what is this? You sent an email to my personal mail? 

I don’t have it

**The Shining Minho**

!!

**You**

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

CHECK YOUR SPAM FOLDER.

**Minseokie**

Wow, you made Max-hyung CAPSLOCKed.

He didn’t even do that when he got my letter!

**You**

_ @Minseokie _ too soon. 

I can still tear it up and tell HR that I don’t accept your resignation.

Can't you wait till the new year to resign, at least?

**Minseokie**

T_T But Boss...

**Q**

OH

I SAW IT

WTF

SHIM

**The Shining Minho**

So this means we all have it, yes?

**Q**

SHIM CHWANG

U BALLER?

WHOA U BALLER

GUAMMMMMMMMMM

**Ryeong**

Changmin, who else are you flying out there? 

**You **

Oh, other than the five of you, just a couple of other people. It’s a small thing. 

**Q**

r we gonna reenact the Hangover???

pls tell me we are reenacting the HANGOVR!!!!!!

**You**

No.

**Q**

or at least 

like

the sisterhood of travelling pants

**You**

What the fuck? No.

**Mi**

Kyu, your inner girl is showing.

**Ryeong**

Kyu, your inner boomer is showing.

\--

**BoA Constrictor**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**BoA Constrictor**

Guam?

**You**

Oh, good, you saw it!

Remember to click on the RSVP link yeah?

It’s just a short form 📝📝📝

**BoA Constrictor **

Not that I don’t appreciate the thought (and the all-expenses paid vacation), but Guam?

**You**

Will you be able to make it? 

🤗

I mean- there’s more than 3 months, so I thought that was enough advance notice.

**BoA Constrictor**

Yes, yes. 

Of course I can make it. 

I mean, February in sunny Guam, when it’s negative temperatures in Seoul otherwise?

Of course I can make it.

**You**

Coooooooool!

🌞

**BoA Constrictor**

Is there anything you want to tell me?

**You**

…? 🤔

Not in particular?

**BoA Constrictor**

Hmm.

\--

**Messages **

_ 40 unread messages _

**Hojoon-hyung** | Delete

Tuesday, XX November 20XX

**H**

Guam? Seriously? And an electronic RSVP page? Since when are you so digitally-savvy?

**Y**

I’ll have you to know I’m a digital native! My bio on the SM Enterprises website says so.

**H**

Please. You are so analogue, it’s not even funny. 

Does this have anything to do with the awkward dinner you forced on me and your Shim last weekend? 

**Y**

What does Changmin have to do with this?

And he’s not my Shim. 

**H**

Are we still flogging the “just friends” horse? It’s been three years, Yun-ah. 

**Y**

Hyung… if you don’t wanna go, it’s okay. No need to drag other people into the conversation.

**H**

Wow, asshole move, Jung. Way to go with the emotional blackmail. Who said I won’t be there? 

**Y **

Yay! Have you RSVPed?

**H**

Oh God, y.e.s. 

Friday, XX December 20XX

**H**

I just ran into your mother at the butcher’s. 

Auntie’s overjoyed that I am vacationing in Guam with her. 

What are you planning, Yunho?

**Y**

Hyung! You actually know where the butcher’s is?

**H**

Don’t change the subject. 

Strange, isn’t it, that your mother is up here in Seoul during Christmas, and not down in Gwangju… 

**Y**

I didn’t have time to head down South this year, so she and my dad are up.

**H**

Even Uncle is in Seoul? I thought wild horses can’t drag him away from his golf?

**Y**

Oh, he’s amenable! Why would you think that?

**H**

I don’t know, maybe just the fact that I’ve known the man for over two decades… 

Must have been someone really important to actually entice him up here, then.

**Y**

Yeah, me. His only son.

**H **

I don’t think so. 

Wednesday, XX December 20XX

**Y**

Happy Christmas, hyung!

**H**

Merry Christmas to you and yours, Yunho. 

**Y**

Shall we meet up soon? 

Sorry, this month has been mad with work.

**H**

Sure. Cuppa before the New Year?

Shinhyun’s all woebegone that you’re neglecting the 85 Kakao group chat again. 

Monday, XX January 20XX

**H**

Sorry about the prolonged rain check. 

Work was mad. 

Pocha hotteok this evening? 

**Y**

Ah, hyung! Hiiiiii!

Sorry, this evening might be a bit of a clash. I’ve got another appointment. 

What about tomorrow? Things are kind of slow because everyone else is still on block leave.

**H**

Oh, I don’t know. I think you might be able to make tonight, seeing how I just ran into your appointment here at the pocha, and he’s ordering quite a bit of food too.

I’ve been invited to join. 

Are you two celebrating something? 

**Y**

LOL 

Wow, Hojoon-hyung

**H**

Your appointment says to tell you that you have twenty minutes to get here because he’s ordered a jeongol to share for the three of us.

**Y**

LOL

**H**

You two are crazy. Hotpot outdoors, in January? 

It’s January.

**Y**

LOL well

It’s a tented stall… Not quite outdoors.

On my way

\--

**Changdol**

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Changdol, you’re with Hojoon-hyung right now?

**Changdol**

If you mean how we’re seated at a table and drinking soju silently together while being very focused on our individual phones and I’m editing a fee recon email I have to get out before 6pm and freezing my ass off in the January cold…

Yes. 

**You**

LOL 

🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

**Changdol**

That’s all you have to say?

**You**

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY

😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😭😂😭

**Changdol**

What’s your ETA?

Ajumeoni is still preparing the jeongol.

**You**

I’m already near- just need to park. 

Two streets away.

**Changdol**

Okay.

Hey, when is your first batch flying?

**You**

Next week. 

2nd Feb

**Changdol**

Eomeonim and abeonim right?

**You**

☝️Yes

Altho Jungsub is flying then too, but he’s gonna sleaze around Guam on his own first 

**Changdol**

…

No comment. 

**You**

🤣

Why? 

**Changdol**

Nah, just thought I’ll check. 

My parents want to fly 3rd Feb. 

**You**

Oh good, they can all keep each other company, then! 🏖️

**Changdol**

You mean when **my ** father eggs **your ** father on, as your father loudly debates the subjective morality of some of Korea’s more dubious education policies with **my **mother?

While **your ** mother laughs and then updates me on every single detail down to how loudly **my **mother is shouting, in a livestream of text messages, because she doesn’t understand the concept of messenger apps.

**You**

😏

Let them have their fun

**Changdol**

You’re not the one people call when they have too much fun. 

**You**

It’s fine, it’s Guam, they’re gonna be all “NO ENGLISH NO ENGLISH” at the locals anyway

Anyway 

they have so many tourists, if every boisterous group of boomers gets hauled to the police station, I think that'll be 90% of all those horrid tourist foreigners on the island there 

They’ll just be seen as another bunch of crazy old Asians gabbing away loudly 

**Changdol**

You are a fucking menace.

The jeongol is here. 

Hojoon-hyung and I have finished two bottles of soju. 

**You**

I’m 🚶🚶🚶🚶! Two minutes.

\--

**@gyucode88**

> <Landscape image of a tropical sunset against a white beach and a blue sea>
> 
> **gyucode88 **yEAAAAAHHHHH HANGOVER TIME!!!!!! LET’S GO FRIENDS
> 
> Liked by **flamingcharismaMH ** and **51 others **
> 
> _ View all 8 comments _
> 
> **kmnsk** if you get arrested, we are not bailing you out...
> 
> **ryeonggu **omf pls go crazy at bars away from this resort’s
> 
> **flamingcharismaMH **AHHHH PARTY LET’S PARTY IT’S PARTY TIME!

  
  


\--

**Jung Yunho **

_ online _

> 🔒Messages to this chat and calls are now secured with end-to-end encryption. Tap for more info.

**You**

Where the fuck are you, Jung?

**Jung Yunho**

Sorry sorry sorry

on my way

Had to finish sketching out a couple of scamps for the Kia boys

**You**

You are on leave.

**Jung Yunho**

Sorry 

I think all the juniors are all freaking out because Hyuk’s here too

And they all think this is just a birthday thing 

**You**

Even if it’s ‘just birthday thing’, well, you don’t fucking bother people on their fucking birthdays.

Particularly if they also fucking took fucking birthday leave. 

**Jung Yunho**

You spent two hours of your birthday last year on the phone with WYM’s head of marketing because of that influencer PR gaffe…

**You**

Do you really want to do this today, Jung?

Of all days?

**Jung Yunho**

Yeah no I suck I am the shittest 

And I am on my way.

Very much on my way.

Only twenty metres away on my way.

**You**

I’m glad you still have your self-preservation instincts intact, at least. 

\--

**ryeonggu | LIVE | End**

_ boa.constrictor, kmnsk, 17 others are active now _

LIVE ON INSTAGRAM 

We’ll notify some of your followers so that they don’t miss it. 

We’re telling your followers right now. 

_ Add a guest to be in your live video _

“Say hi, Kyu.”

“Hiiiiii! Hi! Everyone hi! Everyone! Oh, oh, you’re recording this?”

“No, you’re on live. Wave.”

“What? Oh, oh, hi! Everyone! Hi! We’re in Guam! Look! Hi!”

“Kyu-hyung, you nearly blew my eardrums out…”

“And here is Minseok! Minseok say hi!”

“Hello, people in Ryeowook-hyung’s… whatever.”

“IG TV.”

“-IG TV. Hello.”

“Minseokie, be more excited! It’s Guam! It’s the sunset! Woohoo!”

“Uhhhh, Ryeowook-hyung, I’m pretty sure Kyu-hyung is blitzed already. Are you sure you want to film him like this? Live?”

“What? Of course. It’s more fun this way.” 

“What are you guys doing?”

“Hyukjae hyung!?”

“Hyuk, you’re here too?”

“Hi, Ryeowook. Boys.” 

“Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk, fancy meeting you here! Haha!”

“Uh, I thought Kyu-hyung is very good at holding his alcohol?”

“Oh, yeah. He had two Cherry Bombs, one Sex on the Beach, five White Russians and half a bottle of red.”

“What?”

“Jesus, you’re just drinking Uknow-hyung’s money away, huh?”

“What?”

“What do you mean? Max-hyung is the one that invited us here.”

“It’s Changminnie’s birthday, Hyuk.”

“What? No. It’s Uknow-hyung’s birthday.”

“What?”

“What?”

“What?”

“Why are we whatting? How are we whatting!”

“What?”

“What?”

“No, Hyuk-hyung, my boss invited us here.”

“Yeah, well, _ my _boss invited me here. Me and Donghae and Heechul-hyung and also-”

“Hi, gentlemen.”

“-and also BoA-nim, too. Here she is. BoA-nim, hi.”

“Urk.”

“Oh my-”

“Big Boss!”

“Hi, Minseokie. Are you sure you don’t want to retract your letter? Max and I are going to miss you so much.”

“Ah…”

“What- why is your psychotic evil bitch of an overlord here, Minseok-ah? Oh my god she is staring at me. I think I’m gonna pee my pants.”

“I’m flattered, Kyuhyun. And you're drunk.”

“No, wait-”

“So these guys are here, but Uknow-hyung didn’t invite them.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Yeah, Max-hyung did…”

“I just ran into Sunny. She told me the same thing, actually. That she's Max, hmm, well, Changmin's guest, not Yunho's."

“What?”

“Wait, so Uknow-hyung is also here?”

“What?” 

“I’m confused, guys, why are we shouting?”

“Oh my god, this is even better than KBS primetime dramas.”

“So Changmin is here… even though Yunho was the one who invited me.”

“Wait, oh my God-”

“Guys guys guys guys hi! Look who I found. Oh- hi BoA-nim!” 

“Minho.” 

“Jeez, did you have to drag me so hard?”

“Heechul-hyung-nim!”

“Oh, wait, is the whole agency here? Did Yurrobong invite the whole agency for his mid-life crisis bash?”

“Not Yunho, Heechul.”

“No?”

“Changmin invited them.”

“Oh fuck- I knew it! That sly little fucker! They're both fuckers! Don’t tell me this is-”

“Hyung-nim! Ryeowook-hyung is, er, recording this-”

“-something cooked up by those two fuckers-”

“Er, should we tell him?”

“What? No. This is funny. Funnier than Kyu stumbling around, anyway.”

“... Yeah, Kyu-hyung is on the floor…”

“-the fuck is Hojoon, Hojoon must be around here somewhere then-”

“It’s fine, leave him there.”

“Er-” 

“Look, there, isn’t that-”

“This is really like a drama.”

“Oh my God- Okay, no, forget what I just said- Minho. Minho! Grab a bucket of ice from the bar or something- We need to wake Kyu up- he’ll kill us all if we let him miss this-”

“Wait, what-”

“Oh, look! Heechul, stop your ranting. There’s Changmin! Oooh. That's beautiful. Is that a pavilion?"

“Those two fuckers, ‘we are friends’ indeed, don’t tell me they are doing something so fucking cheesy-” 

“Minseok! Minho is taking too long.”

"Y-yeah?" 

"Minseok! Look at me. Slap Kyuhyun now. Now!"

"Oh, I- okay!"

"Ack! Ouch, wow, what the f-"

"Ice! I’ve got the ice! Holy shit, is that Uknow-hyung? What's he wearing? He didn't even dress up like this for Cannes!"

“Guys, I found you! Is this wild or what? I don’t think this is about a birthday after all!”

“Hi, Sunkyu-noona-”

"-do any of you guys know about this? What the fuck- Hojoon! Get your fucking ass here. Hojoon!"

“Oh, hyung. I’m not involved in this, I’m as in the dark as you are-”

“You lie! You fucking liar. How can you not fucking know-”

"Shh, Heechul, look, there's Yun's parents! And I think those are Changmin's parents too-"

“Don’t you fucking tell me to shh, this is not the fucking time to shh-”

“You’re all noisyyyyugghhhh…”

"Fuck- are they? They really are-"

"Oh, they're both in white, how romantic-"

"Cho Kyuhyun, wake up now!!"

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
_Demystifying the jargon one last time..._  
**consumer testing and quals**: You test broad concepts or ideas of what marketing/advertising campaigns will be with a selected sample size of picked consumers, and it can be done via quantitative ("quan") or qualitative ("qual"). This is upstream of actual creative work and helps shape the client brief.  
**colour proof**: your final design/visual on proper paper stock(matte, glossy) that allows you to do an accurate colour check on the almost-finished product before it gets released unto the public. This is meant for print/OOH ads mainly because colours on a digital monitor is different (in RGB) compared to runs from a printer (in CMYK). There is an entire ritual for "signing off on colour proof" in an agency and the corresponding client (brand marketing team).  
**FA**: Final Artwork. basically FINAL FINAL FINAL SHIT NO MORE CHANGES shit. I've had Art creatives/studio creatives save the .ai files as 'FA final final really final' and there is an entire assortment of memes around the finality of an FA.  
**resource meeting**: ...a meeting where you talk (human) resources.  
**EDM**: Not the music genre. Electronic Direct Mailer.  
**block leave**: Two to three weeks of AL at a go.  
**birthday leave**: I always get one day of official leave for my birthday! Though you have to actually take it in your birthday month... Like HoMin is doing. (:  
**Cannes**: As in, the Cannes Lions, the Academy Awards equivalent for the ad industry.  
PS. Yes, ECD!Jung and Business Directo!Shim can afford to fly all these suckers to Guam, on their salaries. Don't worry.
> 
> \--
> 
> This concludes the bulk of #officeantics! 
> 
> Mitsu Hachimitsu has kindly offered mockups of those invites [here](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EULSsdfUYAAeCTi?format=jpg&name=900x900) and [here](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EULSsdfU0AAyGWM?format=jpg&name=900x900).
> 
> #OA is a fic that is extremely dear to my heart and is uncomfortably autobiographical at times. I'm frankly amazed at how many of you have embraced it and looked upon it with kindness and love. 
> 
> It was never meant or planned to be an actual fic-fic. I wrote this for Mouldsee and it's peppered through out with real-life anecdotes and Easter eggs known only to the two of us. In that same vein, I never thought it would even be read by others because fuck knows the ad industry is a very acquired taste. I mean, I've got interns coming up to me to say they've been put off and will like to explore a career in banking instead. I've also had an ex-Head of Planning (he's a shit planner but) tell me he thinks I'm all right but also a nightmare to work with, because my work mindset is _fucked_. But I digress.
> 
> Thank you very much for your support. x  
(Don't put too much hope into #16.)
> 
> Everyone stay healthy and safe! If you read me, I hope to see you in the other fic babies. 
> 
> As always: comments are love. xx


	16. Campaign Launch

\-- end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #officeantics as is has officially ended. Thank you for your time and support, kudos and comments, encouragement on the various platforms. Each of them means a lot a lot more to me than you'll ever understand. 
> 
> I offer you amazing art (with copy by yours truly) crafted by the amazing Lia [[Cosmicmacchiato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmicmacchiato/pseuds/Cosmicmacchiato)] to cap things off. Go check out her Twitter under the same handle, her artwork makes me incoherent in the best way. 
> 
> Over 800 kudos as of this time in writing... I honestly cannot comprehend it. Look out for the other fic babies! x


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